abnormal size of labia minora

As far as i can remember, i have always had a very abnormal looking area down there. On one side, my labia minora (the inner lip) is quite a bit longer than the other side. I know it isn't going to cause me any actual health problems, however it is pretty embarrassing having a fairly large extra peice of skin there. I have tried to go with the "everyone is different this just makes me unique" excuse but i am getting increasingly self-conscious about it. I am uncomfortable with partners realizing that it is abnormal. First of all I want to know if this really is as uncommon as i think it is. And second, i'd like to know if anyone has any suggestions as to what i can do about this. Any possible surgery options or anything?? please help my sex life is suffering! thank you very much for your support!!!

[monkeyflower]

It is actually totally NORMAL. If your partners think it's abnormal, it would only be because of their own lack of experience.

You might check out the book Femalia, by Joani Blank - it's pictures of all kinds of vulvas. Also, check out www.bettydodson.com; she has some great illustrations of vulvas, and I think it will give you some idea of the incredible variety of labia sizes, shapes and colors out there :-)

If you really are that uncomfortable with it, though, you could always look into labiaplasty. Personally, I am totally, completely against it, because I can't think of any other surgery that is so unnecessary and so clearly takes advantage of our deepest insecurities, but it is available.

[Luna39]

I actually have the same problem. (Not really a problem, but you know what I mean). I've always been so self concious because my labia are two different sizes. Before I got a boyfriend, I used to think that any guy would be kind of weirded it out by it...and I was proven wrong. You'd actually be surprised how many guys embrace it and like it...and when you have someone that really loves you, they don't care. Don't stress it...and, in my opinion, don't turn to surgery. You don't need it and you're beautiful the way you are. :)

[marriedlove]

Yikes--I vote no on cosmetic surgery for the labia.  Certainly (from my perspective!) not worth the potential loss of function and sensation to look like some fake "ideal"

So, two things.

First off, labia come in all shapes and sizes.  Check out these web sites to see the range:  (Note--people who are very, very conservative and sensitive about graphic depictions of the human body might want to skip these.)

http://www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/n_c_size.htm

http://www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/vulva.htm

Also try looking for Betty Dodson's _Sex for One_.

Second, the appearance of the vulva naturally evolves as we mature.  Problem is, the pornographic ideal stops evolving at somewhere around 19 or 20, it seems.  (Plus, the pornographic ideal is very narrow--take popular culture as your guide, and you'd think all women should strive for tiny waists, huge breasts, blonde hair, etc.  The Barbie look!  All that, and miniscule labia minora, too, lol.)  At my advanced age (43 going on 44 <grin>), I *certainly* don't expect to look like the little pin up girls.  I've got a mature body.  Lucky me, I *like* it, and I know *lots* more about how to have fun with it now than I did when I was younger.

As always, these things are a matter of personal preference, but I'd say take the money you'd have spent on labioplasty (sigh--just a hair's breadth away from clitoridectomy, that, and about as backward to my way of thinking) and use it to invest in some nice Georgia O'Keefe flower prints.  Now *there's* a woman who knew how to celebrate the female anatomy in all its glorious variety.

Why cut the beautiful flower when you can let it bloom?

marriedlove

[palmtrees]

thank you all so much for your feedback. the websites really helped! im really feeling a lot better after hearing your kind words! agian thank you so much for your support!!

[gyncare]

If after reading this you would still prefer reduction in the size of your labia, go and see a reputable gynaecologist. They have had the experience to advise and assist you. Avoid so called plastic surgeons if you want to save money.

[chocolate_addict]

i have a question.. i have the same problem as palmtrees. But i also have problem with vaginal discharge and have had it for years. I am constantly feeling wet, and it is difficult to live with. I've seen my doctor about it and has used tablets and creams to treat thrush, they never seem to work. She also tells me there is nothing wrong with me. Do you think the friction between my larger inner lips (labia minora) can be the cause of this?

[TTT09]

hi there
well im 18 and ive had sex once but I've always been loose down there is there something wrong with me i mean i really dont know how its supposed to look down there HELP

[JonasViking]

You said:
"embarrassing having a fairly large extra peice of skin there"

I cannot believe you say that about your labia, I'd love to find a girlfriend that's well endowed in the labia department especially unique ones, like one lip being larger, that's what makes yours so SPECIAL!! Would be really boring if all women had plain lipless holes with nothing for us guys to nibble, fondle, kiss and play with.

To some men your special lips will be a dream come true, just like some women like well endowed men, some men like well endowed women... And lucky you, you're a natural!!

[bigron2000]

My wife was big in department, and I loved it.

Unfortunatley when the menopause set in, they shunk.

Shame, loved her bits and pieces.

[retroVISION]

DO NOT GET LABIAPLASTY!!!! I can not stress this enough! The surgery can take away from your pleasure and take away from sex completely. You are completely normal and there is no reason to think otherwise. If you are in doubt go to *********.com but do NOT mutilate yourself PLEASE!!! You have no idea how much men like it! And the fact that you are slightly uneven will not matter.

[RP808]

i'm 15 and i am really worried that my labia minora is abnormally long. both are around 6 cm long and i am stressed and worried about what people in the future and if my boyfriend is going think i am wierd and a freak
i dont really want to tell anyone out of embarressment but not sr wether to talk to my mum about it .......help is needed !

[RP808]

i am worried about the siz of my libia minora
both are 6cm long and i feel  extremly embarrassed about it
i'm worried that in the future people will think i'm a freak and that my boyfriend will also
i haven't talked to anyone about it and am getting increasingly stressed and worried
should i talk to my mum ???
a doctor ?
help is need people !!

[dorkbarbie]

i have one large and one small. i'm 16 and have avoided boys my whole life because of my "condition."I probably have the lowest self-esteem on the east coast. admittedly, im pretty easy on the eyes, but until tonight i've gone through life thinking im a freak. i'm in tears realizing i am not alone and NOT  a freak. i'm still self conscious about my....stuff but this has saved me years of pain and self-hatred. thank you.

[cookie490]

wow the same thing these girls were saying was my problem since age 7-8 and up... i first noticed this when i would masturbate, i was molested by a family friend and only 3 people knows this not even my mom knows this... so growing up i thought it was my fault and thought this wasn't normal.... i hid it for years and then in 2008 i got sexually abused and was choked and beatened nearly to death which made me even more self conscious about myself... recently i found this site after breaking down to my boyfriend of 1 yr and 6 mnths which lives in Jamaica that i have something to tell him but i was too embarrassed which was the most secretive that i dealt with for years.... i finally told him that one of my labia is larger than the other and i never felt better and like an understanding boyfriend he told me he understands and loves it :D so girls don't be to hard on yourself  

[Mslindsay]

It's awesome to see guys comment on this subject I know it helps the ladies feel better it made me feel better, after my boyfriend looked at me for the first time he said this is how you can tell how much sex a girl has had! If they're big you have had alot of sex so smaller is better? I'm 24 years old and my labia minora is bigger then my outside lips and guess what? I'm not a **** have been with very few men and mostly long term relationships like 2 up to 6 years more recently. I feel much better about myself agoan after reading all your posts so thanks ladies and gents!