abortion

I hd an abortion in October and feel dead to the world. I do not believe in them at all I was pressured. I was told I would have no where to live and my boyfriend was a big time drug addict that didnt help me with the 2 we have now. I love my children more than anything in this world but I was bleeding every daywith this pregnancy I had really bad cramps that I never had either with my first two. But I am feeling nothing but guilt and shame and I feel like I took from my daughter and my son a baby that they would of cherished. It was something I did not want to do and everyone else told me I couldn't afford the baby, the baby will be raised with no father like my first two I feel horrible this is hell!


This discussion is related to abortion.

[fission]

Dear Sweetheart,

I'm so sorry for your pain. Having to terminate a pregnancy comes with great guilt but at the same time, lots of courage. Somewhere deep inside, you understood that the decision to not bring this child into this world was the best decision for you at the time-given your situation. Right now, I feel like you are blaming others for your own personal choice because of the overwhelming guilt and sadness you are feeling now. It's normal and apart of the healing process. At some point though, you're going to have to admit the weight that you carried in all of this, since at the end of the day, you and you alone have privvy to that kind of choice.

Instead of feeling dead to the world, look to the children that you have now. That are lively and playful and beautiful. Cherish them and love them. It's okay to grieve, but know that you have 2 that are here and need you. What's done is done. I suffer from an incompetent cervix. I have had 5 boys--all vaginally--but only have 2 that are living. I think of my boys everyday. I remember every birthday and what ages they would have been, but I don't allow their memories to hinder me or take away from the ones that are with me now. Some may not like this next statement, but it is my feelings and my experience. I was pregnant a few months ago and the pregnancy started off very rocky. Already a rough start. I was bleeding profusely on and off for weeks at a time. They told me that it was a threatened miscarriage. I admired that little baby's strength-trying to live, trying to stay put in the womb. In the end, the fear of holding yet another lifeless child in my arms was more than i could bare. I terminated my pregnancy. I was inconsoliable and felt just wretched inside. But it was the choice I made. I would have rathered it end by my doing than for my body to fail yet another baby.

So see, you're not alone. We all must do what we feel is best for us. Love and raise your kids. When the time comes for your baby to come back to you, I'm sure you'll be much better prepared.

[fission]

Dear Sweetheart,

I'm so sorry for your pain. Having to terminate a pregnancy comes with great guilt but at the same time, lots of courage. Somewhere deep inside, you understood that the decision to not bring this child into this world was the best decision for you at the time-given your situation. Right now, I feel like you are blaming others for your own personal choice because of the overwhelming guilt and sadness you are feeling now. It's normal and apart of the healing process. At some point though, you're going to have to admit the weight that you carried in all of this, since at the end of the day, you and you alone have privvy to that kind of choice.

Instead of feeling dead to the world, look to the children that you have now. That are lively and playful and beautiful. Cherish them and love them. It's okay to grieve, but know that you have 2 that are here and need you. What's done is done. I suffer from an incompetent cervix. I have had 5 boys--all vaginally--but only have 2 that are living. I think of my boys everyday. I remember every birthday and what ages they would have been, but I don't allow their memories to hinder me or take away from the ones that are with me now. Some may not like this next statement, but it is my feelings and my experience. I was pregnant a few months ago and the pregnancy started off very rocky. Already a rough start. I was bleeding profusely on and off for weeks at a time. They told me that it was a threatened miscarriage. I admired that little baby's strength-trying to live, trying to stay put in the womb. In the end, the fear of holding yet another lifeless child in my arms was more than i could bare. I terminated my pregnancy. I was inconsoliable and felt just wretched inside. But it was the choice I made. I would have rathered it end by my doing than for my body to fail yet another baby.

So see, you're not alone. We all must do what we feel is best for us. Love and raise your kids. When the time comes for your baby to come back to you, I'm sure you'll be much better prepared.