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boyfriend problem
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boyfriend problem

me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over 2 years. i love him and he is fun to be around but i dont know what to do about the spark in our relationship i dont really have fun with sex anymore  its not like we dont try new things i just would rather do anything else other than have sex because it is boring what should i do that could help us i dont want to lose him over something like that but it just feels like we dont have any kind of sexual spark any more
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How are things in your relationship outside of sex?  For many of us women, sex is about emotional connection as well as the physical.  It's as intimate as you can get.  If you view sex in such a way, it's very possible if you are not getting the attention you need outside of the bedroom, your lack of enjoyment of sex may be affected by that.  That's where I would start:  If you're not doing much together, start.  Talk.  Share.  Enjoy each other's company.  If you're spending time together, make sure you're getting out of these experiences what you need.  This may require some journaling to figure out.

Show each other your physical attraction without it having to lead to sex.  Maybe even try a week of no sex.  Sometimes having a short break can reignite that spark.  Kiss a little here (not necessarily making out), a little touch on the arm, the face.  If it's your thing, a little smack or pinch on the bottom.  Just little no pressure things that let each other know you still find each other attractive.

Once you decide to have sex, spend plenty of time on the foreplay.  If you aren't stimulated enough beforehand, it can be really hard to get into it and stay focused once intercourse begins.  If you need him to touch you a certain way, find a way to tell him that's not chastising but more, "I love when you do xyz."

You can look around the internet for suggestions, too.  (Would not recommend Cosmo, though they are good for a laugh. =p)

But yeah, my biggest piece of advice is that first bit: make sure things are good outside the bedroom and that you are communicating with and feeling close to him there.  If you aren't, it's probably going to be difficult to feel that way during sex.
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