dont want my baby:(

I am almost five months pregnant and I don't want him! I know this sounds awful and makes me feel so guilty. I've felt this way the whole time but thought it wld b better by now! I have my daughter who is almost eight and she is my entire world and I loved her frm the second I found out. So why am I like this? What's wrong with me?? Anyy help is greatly appreciated!

[msniki412]

Why dont you want your baby? Was this pregnancy not planned or something? I don't beleive in abortions, but your a little too far along to even consider one. Have you thought about adoption? I don't know why you would feel that way and yes it is awful knowing that so many ladies out there have trouble getting pregnant.

[hannah1505]

i think you are truley blessed there are so many women who carnt have children i my self am struggling your a lucky lucky lady x

[tiff100]

No it wasn't planned I've had cervical cancer and still do so I thought I cldnt have kids anymore and with how old my daughter is I used to want more kids but now I just didn't think I cld.  I don't believe in abortion and don't think I cld live with myself if I gave him up but I just can't understand why I feel this way and it makes me so sad:( and I'm sooooo scared even after he is born I won't feel the connection I shld! I dunno I'm just lost and trying to figure out if other woman have felt this way and how they dealt with it! Thanks for replying I really appreciate it I feel too guilty bout feelin this way to talk to anyone in my life bout it:(

[LIL_LADY24]

Your lucky because me and my fiance are having trouble having one of our own...........If you do not want to keep him, I would be happy and honored to adopt him.

[iam1butterfly]

I suspect that you're going through some sort of depression.
Perhaps, you should seek counseling.

[GRose]

Dont be down on yourself, I think you are just scared. Maybe you should talk to someone about your feelings so that you can get them sorted out. I think once you hold your little baby in your arms your feelings will change.
It'll all work out :)

[LIL_LADY24]

I will continue to pray that you make all the right choices.............and you pray about it too...................................

[sheshe88]

I dont understand why you thought you couldn't get prego ... I was 16 when I have cervical cancer and I knew I could still get prego..... I think it maybe time to suck it up and deal with your consequences .. the best option is putting him up for adoption so he can live a life with a family that wants him....... I also think that you may want to have a chat with your 8   yr old ...what does this show her??? to be irresponsible??? not trying to be mean but you sound selfish    

[LinaG]

Dear Tiff100,
I really don't understand what is going on on your mind, did someone hurt U? Don't let someone hurt U, U don't deserve that you are pregnant!!! don't U think? Remember that you are blessed by God & U should be happy that your baby angel will have a sister & she will never be alone in this world. If U are scared that U are sick & you can live your 2 babies alone in this world don't worry medicine is in high level this days! :)
I don't think that U will not have connection with your baby angel, U gonna love this baby angel till the end of your life as U love your daughter!:). I will suggest to you to talk with your DH what is boring you, try to be with the people you love most & be happy & healthy women, mother & wife!:)

I have a faith that I will became pregnant with God help one day after 5 years trying!:)
God bless U & your family!

Don't worry be happy you are blessed by God!:)

[lisa_t]

Hi there, im so sorry to hear how you are feeling. I sort of understand what your going through as I had similar feelings when I had my second child... I found out I was pregnant again when my eldest was 5yrs old. I was abseloutly petrified! Like yourself, the pregnancy came as a shock as I had tried to get pregnant from when my eldest was 1yr old. By the time she turned 3yrs I resigned to the fact that I couldnt get pregnant. My husband and I never ever used contraception and like I say my eldest was 5yrs when I did get pregnant. For 2 yrs, I had in my head that I was never having children again and I devoted myself to my daughter, I had my little family and it was always going to be just the three of us, it was safe, secure and we had so much love among us it was unbelievable. My fear was that for some reason, I didn't think I could love and cherish anyone else, I thought I could never feel for another child like I did the one I already had, I just didn't think it would stretch that far and I was scared I was incapable of having these feelings. I really thought it would be impossible to love another child as much, I didnt think I had enough to give and I dreaded the arrival.
As my time got nearer, I had a check up around 34wks and was told I had to have a c-section as the baby was sprawled across my tummy and was too big to move. It was only then it hit me like a ton of bricks that I loved this child just as much as the one I already had.... When she finally arrived,all the pride and happiness and love that was there on the birth of my 1st was there also. I loved her more than life itself. I couldnt believe that you can actually love just as much!! It wasnt a case of sharing the love I already had for my eldest, I got more of it..... I felt awful that I had had so many negative feelings towards my unborn child when all along she was just as precious to me as any mother can love her child.

I sincerely hope, this may be the case with you. Good luck x

[LIL_LADY24]

I am with you....I have a faith that hubby and I will become pregnant with God's great timing ............................................Lets just pray for Tiff100 and show how great God is!

[tiff100]

Thank u all for the positive advice I truly appreciate and a, relieved to knw that other woman have felt this way! To those of u bein negative and tearing me dwn not necessary clearly I already feel bad about this or I wld not have come here! I'm not bein iresponsible but instead of bein like most people and keeping my feelings inside I came here as an outlet and to get some understandin and I appreciate more than I cld express everything helpful that has been said! Trust me I knw a child is a gift I had my daughter @ 16 and have devoted the last 8 years of mt life to her and will continue to as she grows. I'm just having a hard tome with this one and as u can see by what I've wrote I'm not happy about feeling this way that's why I came here!

[heatherlynn22]

maybe counseling would be a good idea. maybe your getting the baby blues early. lol. i know after my twins were born there were days when i felt so helpless, hopeless and thought they'd be better with someone else. i never did go get counseling (even though i think it would have helped  but it wasn't possible with the twins) but i did perservere and now they are happy and healthy 8 1/2 month olds that i love more then anything in this world.

[CYW]

i am so sorry you are experiencing this.. i think you should seek counselling..See sometimes unplanned might make us hesitant as to being scared because unplanned=unwanted...and maybe that's what is behind your mind...like i dont know if you are with anyone but maybe you fear he doesnt want this baby etc etc and what kind of life would he live etc.. i think too once holding that baby you would fall madly in love....the love of a mother is strong...best of luck

[Crystal91479]

Hi Tiff,
Take a few deep breaths.....and relax. I wouldn't say these feelings that you are having are per se *normal*, but believe me you are NOT the only female out there who has thought it. I think you are very brave/strong to come to a website and admit to thousands of people you don't know....exactly how you feel.
My children are 8 years apart. I know a few unwanted thoughts ran through my mind when I found out I was pregnant as well. But I pushed them to the side, and allowed my family to grow. God only gives us what he thinks we can handle. If it wasn't meant to be it wouldn't have happened.
If I recall there was a popular actress who went through a horrible post pardum depression. I can't remember who it was, I know Oprah has done a few interviews with her. So lets think of it this way.......this actress who has all the money, power, and help in the world did not want her child either. Always remember, you are not alone. Push through the bad times, they make the good times so much better.
All the best to you and your family
~Crystal

[henning]

hi tiff
I felt the same way, i was excited about being pregnant, but a part of me didnt want anyone else to take my love from my son. sounds stupid, it was just the way i had felt. I didnt want to share my love. I had a beautiful girl who is now 27 yrs old with two beautiful children (my grandkids).  I loved her soon as I met her and found out that I love them both but in different ways. They you to ask me who do you love more, my reply was always the same I love my son best becuz he is my son and my first born and I love my daughter the best becuz she was my only daughter and my youngest. I did find that I had enough love for the both of them. But...a third child, I dont know :^)  You'll be fine.
Penny

[klynn23]

hey, just hang in their, like others said councling would be a good idea, i had alot of negative feelings when i was pregnant and sometimes still do, my son is 10 months old. but when those bad feelings come around you just have to sit back , take a couple deep breaths and remember how wonderful a childs love is

[LinaG]

tiff100 * U are welcome, if I helped you any how I'm very very happy for that!:) How are U doing today? Hugs 2 U:)

Lil_Lady24* Thank U dear, we do believe in God & know that he will bring our present in our life:) Hugs 2 U 2!:)

Let's pray for Tiff100, God bless her & her family!:)

[Renwick2004]

I know this post is late and you've probably had the baby already but I saw some pretty upsetting comments on here.  I guess it's coming from the majority of women that are TTC and can't fathom such feelings towards an unborn child.  I had a friend in the same situation and it was like going through "pregnancy depression" and they did treat her with a pregnant safe medication.  Pregnancy brings on some very strong feelings and I would say that it's normal to feel that way with impending birth but you should talk to your doctor.  I hope that you found some light at the end of the tunnel and I'm sorry things have been hard.  

[nette77]

im willing to take ur baby as i cant get pregnant been tryin 2 get pregnant 4 16 yrs and still havent. so anyone who doesnt want their baby plz help me

[sarah7351]

I am expecting my first (and last) baby in July and feel the exact same way...I was told I had PCOS....which means I was infertile... and 18 years of sexual activity later, I got pregnant.  I never wanted children.  My husband is very happy and wants the baby very much...I just wish I could join everyone in their excitement and stop feeling this DREAD. Being a mom is a pain in the arse. Bottom line.  I want no part of it.  I've had TONS of experience with babies and children because I am an aunt to sooo many kids (whom I love very dearly)

Here's what keeps me going:  Everyone tells me that after my elective C-section, I will see that baby, touch it, look at it....and the bond will form.  I already believe I will cry my eyes out and I like to keep an open mind about things.  So my advice to you is to relax, don't fret so much about not wanting the baby......I bet everyone is right and that when we see our babies, the bond will either appear magically or grow over time as you care for the baby.

Good luck with everything :-)