I am having a problem well I think it is a problem, most the time when my bf and I are having sex I am always dry, even right after he proforms oral sex and he gets ready to do his thing I get so dry and it hurts during and after, at first i didnt mind it but after some time he started to use his finger and after he does that it hurts and when he puts his penis in it hurts even worse, i dont want to not have sex with him but it as become a bad experience with us having sex over and over and I am still dry. What can I do to not be dry whenever I am having sex, I really would like to enjoy sex much more. ALso I know I am not the only one as a problem having a orgasm, can someone help me in finding a way to get a orgasm during intercourse, i want to enjoy it like everyone else.
Well, you are certainly not going to get to orgasm with intercourse if you are having dryness and pain. Ick! Can't think of anything less sexy. As far as dryness is concerned, what lubes have you tried? There is KY Jelly, any number of flavored products, and even Vaseline. Don't hesitate to try them; sex should not be a painful penance that you do to please your ingrate boyfriend. (I use the word because he sounds like he isn't very concerned that sex is no fun for you.) If you are on birth-control pills, they might be why you aren't getting natural lubrication, it's not a big deal, just get the KY or the others and try them. If you are using condoms, use LUBRICATED condoms. (I assume you are not having unprotected sex.) Good luck, I'm sure everyone will recommend you buy yourself some nice lubrication.
Just a quick note that Vaseline is not a good idea to use if you will be using condoms. You need a water based lubricant since the oil in the vaseline can weaken the condom. KY has a number of different lubes out right now...ones that are warming and ones that are flavored...ones that tingle...ones that prolong orgasm and others that are just standard lubricants. I have tried the warming one and it might be a good idea because the heat sensation it creates helps with more blood flow to the "area"...you will automatically be more turned on and will probably find it easier to achieve orgasm. The good thing about the lubes that they have out right now is that they are mucy more fun than they used to be so if you introduce the idea of it to your bf it seems like you are kinky and fun (rather than seeming like you need to buy lubes because of some sort of problem). Also, Durex has a condom with "sensi-cream" and it is a regular condom with a silky lubricant on it. Using that may help on its own. And just a note too that you don't have a problem. Some women produce more lubrication than others and every women has times when they produce less than at other times. My suggestion is to play with a few different kinds of lubes and condoms and see what works best for you! Best of luck to you and have fun!
Vaseline is not a good idea it is heavier and can stay inside, it can also cause infections. KY jelly is the way to go you can also find other lubracants online and differant sex toy sites that are just as good. Good Luck and have fun.
definatly use a lube. I didnt and had very dry intercourse (and a lot of it) and I have a gland cyst caused by it. It doesnt hurt but its a bump down under and I hate it. The worst part is that the GYN said it may never go away... and I'm believing him since its been over a month and I still have it :o(
I agree with the last post....Astroglide is the way to go. KY can leave a residue, where the Astroglide doesn't at all. As far as achieving orgasm during intercourse, you're not the only women who can't do that with intercourse alone. Lots of women need additional stimulation. I used to be just like you - I thought that intercourse should definitely be enough. I'm sure it can be for some, but when talking with my friends, I find that we all need a little "help". Have you ever tried a small vibrator? Those can be used along with intercourse, and will most likely really turn your man on!! Are you able to achieve orgasm by yourself?
what about if the lubricant still doesn't work and your still dry what else is there it's not like I'm not turn on or anything and I enjoy it and it doesn't hurt just dry. Why would that be happening but right after sex I'm very wet and lubricated.
I have the same problem not getting wet before intercourse. My boyfriend feels that i dont enjoy or want to have sex with him anymore. I use lube eventually, and i will get wet after we start having intercourse, but is there a reason I cant get wet before sex, even if i masterbate and ***, im still not wet.
I have a problem...when I'm having sex with my b/f I get wet at first but then I dry up...it makes me and him very upset...he tends to think its because I have other things on my mind but I'm not so sure. I try to focus on sex but I start thinking about my body and what about if I'm not riding him the right way??? Girls I really need help and I not sure how to get my mind right... you know to let my self GO!!
When I'm drinking I feel I stay wet because I feel like I can do whatever and blame the drinks...I guess it is me thinking...OH I don't know...but it is putting a lot of stress on the 2 of us.
Im the same, its really getting me down. iv been with my bf two years n hes started t think th reason we're not havin as much sex is bcus of him, but its cus i find it so difficult to get wet, n th more i think about it th worse i get. i also find clitoral stimulation rarely works for me n iv nevr had an orgasm. I just want to get wet like i used to and ebjoy sex!
A great way to achieve orgasm during intercourse is first get your bf to bring you to orgasm first, either through oral sex or manual stimulation, then immediately have him penetrate you - him on top, so there is good clitoral contact. ;) Good Luck.
hey guys are you on birth control? i can be horny as all get out, and be totally dry. it's the damn pills. use astroglide. trust me..it works wonders. my gyno also recommended "replens." you can get it at target and walmart..it's a suppository that you put in your vagina that moisterizes everything up there..i've also found that REALLY helpful. it's not a douche or anything, just a moisterizer, and it won't interfere with your condom reliability. :)
Im also not sure what my prob is, thats why i came across this website as i was searching for info on dry vagina. whenever my bf and i want to have sex, im always, i mean always dry... even though i feel so turned on, n i keep thinking maybe im not turned on enough!? but after checking out some other websites, i learned that not every woman is born the same way, you could be very turned on but still have a dry vagina (though i somehow still believe that i'm not turned on enough). ive been using KY for as long as i can remember, does anyone kno if its bad for our body? i mean if a person uses it so often and would it stay inside the body? maybe it could lead to cancer or something like that in the future? seriously ive always wanted to use less and less and hoped that eventually i'll be able to get rid of it. but my vagina is still dry. and my bf does think that i don't enjoy having sex with him that much. i think i've reached orgasm (clit), but it always happens before we even have intercourse. i know it could be a turn-off for him, but i know i wouldnt have orgasm when we have our intercourse since i never got any orgasm inside my vagina, so id rather have one before the intercourse... one more thing even though i've achieved orgasm, i always hv a feeling that it could be even better. i dont know why, i want to have that very "complete and satified" feeling... which is something i don't feel after sex. basically the most importnt part for me is th foreplay and the clitoris stimulation, and i dont really feel so sexy after my orgasm, is that normal? because ive already achieved it? i heard women can have multiple orgasms... ive always wanted to reach that, but i just dont really feel i want to have more sex after my orgasm while its just started for my bf. and for those who havnt had an orgasm, try to be more confident in yourself during sex, i think the key is to feel wanted and sexy, and i think for women, we all need to "tune" our mind because we are not easily turned on by just having physical contact, our mind is very important in order to reach orgasm, maybe having some sexual fantasies before intercourse is good, just do everything to make urself feel attractive like all the time, telll yourself that you are sexy, and u will be sexy when you do it with him! so first thing is mind, then physical stimulation. my first orgasm came when i was only 18, im 24 now, we didnt even have intercourse that time, but at that moment i felt so wanted by my bf, and he didn't even touch my clitoris with his finger or anything, i think it just sort of got rubbed by his body, my mind made me have the orgasm and i'd never had anything like that before! but ever since i never had any orgasm during intercourse, only clitoris stimulation can get me to climax, and sometimes its not easy to have orgasm when im stressed out and thinking about other things, or not in a good mood, in order to have an orgasm, i think ur mind needs to be so ready for sex. sometimes it just comes too fast and leaves me wanting more, my problem is i did have orgasms, but i dont think they are the best orgasms!! : ( i think girls have a long way to learn about our body and mind and what fantasies or clothes make us feel hot, and ive got a lot more to learn. or you girls should try to explore on your own! that way u'll get to know more about diff sensitive spots. oh and i think i can only get my orgasms when im on top and rubbng my clit against his body since i hate to be touched directly, it is a bit painful when he touches my clit like directly, and i think keeping ur thighs closer helps (when you r on top on him)! i think i'll enjoy sex even more when im fully confident with myself and my body, im looking forward to achieving that.
Woman need to learn how to have an orgasm before you can teach a man how to do it. Most men have no idea what to do. Get to reading on the internet lot's of info. It took my wife and I some time to get in tune with one another. This is one thing you dont want to just leave it up to the man. Need to tell him how to please you.
I have some of the same problems....my boyfriend and I will have foreplay, and I can be as wet as can be...but half way through sex i'll go completely dry!! My brains telling me i'm still turned on, down there..not so much. I definetely can't come to orgasm during sex either. It's even difficult to orgasm when he gives oral..or it'd take so long i'd feel horrible. All he wants to do is please me and thinks it's all "in my head" and i stress out too much, which i know is false. He's asked me to finish on my own before,...which i can do,...but for some reason with sex I can't. I'd rather have him bring me to the edge. I feel guilty doing it myself when he's laying there.
i have been having problems with dryness for the past 7 months me and my fiance never had a problem while we first stated making love now what happens is i get very wet im so in to it and i try to let go and not think and then all of a sudden even thou im sooooooooooooo turned on i get dry y does this happened y in the begining of my relationship with him i had no problem and now for the past 7 months this is happening and sometimes i dont even realize it is there any way i can restore myself to how i can stop getting dry with out using any lubrication or ill never get back to how i use to be y is this happening? please helpppppppppp
I've been doing various internet searches, trying to find an answer to my problems. (I wonder how people dealt with life before the internet. Seriously...) I deal with all of the things that every one has mentioned. Too dry for sex. Not turned on. Stressed out. Mind elsewhere. Not confident enough. Don't think I'm sexy. Too afraid to show him how to do it right. Too embarrassed to do it myself. The list goes on. And I still haven't found a fool-proof answer to anything (except that lube does work). But one thing that I've found is that it feels REALLY good to know that I'm not the only one. I feel so relieved just knowing that there isn't something "wrong" with me and that lots of other women all over the world are dealing with the same issues.
well, im now 19 yrs old, and i've been sexually active for about five or six years. When i first start having sex, being wet was natural, and the men loved it. I always had orgasms, the men always had one, so we both were satisfied. Now, its like what the hell. I could feel myself getting dryer and dryer with every sexual incounter. I heard about astroglide, so i went and bought some at a local cvs, for about eight dollars, and i haven't used it yet. I messed around with a guy from sixteen to eighteen, and we haven't had sex since. Well now he's back in my life, and wants to have sex, i want it soo bad, but im scared the astroglide wont work! Someone that has used it, please let me know whats the longest you've lasted using the product. I havent had sex since i was eighteen, im going on twenty, and im going crazy! the tips will be so helpful..
found this category and thought i may be of some help. Had similar problems, went to doctor after doctor about it and nothing worked, they told me to stop using perfumed shower gels, use lubricant etc. etc. Finally went to a specialist when it started causing problems in my relationship (totally went off the idea of sex as it hurt so much) turns out i had an oestrogen deficiency, no one picked it up before because its very common in menopausal women, but i was only 24... also, i was on a very low oestrogen pill - so that wasn't helping. Got a localised oestrogen cream whcih really helped and have now come off pill, it is no longer a problem. It may be worth checking for this.
Hope this helps, i know it can be extremely upsetting x
I have the same problem. I actually jus got done having intercourse and I couldn't orgasm and neither could my bf. He finally asked me today "do I not turn u on?" I kinda felt embarrassed. This has been happening for 3 months now. I really love him and I don't understand why I dry out so bad during intercourse. I get completely wet before and we have tried foreplay but it doesn't work. I don't want him to feel like its his fault and I want to make him happy. I also thought it was jus me cuz I don't drink enough water. But reading ur comments I think I will try the lube.
I bet every women on this forum thats complaining they can't get wet before sex or stay wet during sex or reach an orgasm are women who can get off on their own (self-pleasure)
Even though it's considered normal and healthy, You be surprised what psychological effects you can get from masturbation (self-pleasure) from doing it for years.
If you're one of these women that can get off on your own but not with real sex, you need to refrain from self-pleasure for at least 30 days to re-programmed your mind on how it thinks when it comes to sex.
This goes for men too! You know... The men that say they can maintain an erection or reach an orgasm thru self-pleasure but they're a dud in the bedroom when it comes to real sex.
I use to masturbate all the time, experiencing bad erections and performance anxiety, but when I decided to quit masturbation for at least 30 days, all of that nonsense stopped.
I have the same problem with being so dry. Me and my ex had sex all the time and i was always so wet but never once had an orgasm with him. And with my current boyfriend in the beginning of our relationship i was wet and lately i've been ridiculously dry that its hurting me before and after sex. But i always have an orgasm with him. I don't know what could be the problem
I use to be wet all the time,now im 34 in a serios relationship,and i have benn experince completly dry before ,during (not so much at first,after he is in it gets a litle better,but then...dry again),and after,i try ky,vaselin,warm lube...and it helps for a while but after a while we have to stop to put more lube,my boyfriend think im not attractive to him anymore cause when we just started dating dryness wasnt a issue.i heard that masturbation that has going on for years can cause that,and i use to do it very often, but not in the past year ,so now im very self contious, and when we want to have sex thats all i think about it,please help,my obgy just told me to forplay a lot before sex and to use vaseline.
I have been with a few men and never had the O and when I would do it myself I guess I wasnt following thur with it to have one either.But the man who gave me my first one and the only one who has he can also do it over the phone.And normally when were together or we talk Im soaked but this last time I kept going dry.I thought it was because we were doing it so rough but then thats how we always do it and I love it so whats wrong with me? And yes we did have to give in and use lube.But still what causes it to happen?
Have the same problem and my bf thinks he doesnt make me happy in bed any more or i have someone else.because the fact sometimes i get wet and go dry or just dont get wet at all.Can there be something wrong with my hormones.Lubricants do help but i do not want to have to use it all the time.
I'm 20 years old. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years. We have a little boy together. And ever since I had ma little boy, and took the time to heal. I've had trouble getting/staying wet. I'm on Mirena (birth control). Been on it for 2 years. I also suffer with vaginal leaking. Anyone have any suggestions?
Romanta therapy has a lube call revelation. All you need is a drop and it works great. Also if you began getting dry during sex after using it, it regenerates itself with moisture. So to put it simply just have your boyfriend give you a little lick and its back on!
Chelssmiles121. I had my daughter and decided to get mirena as soon as i could, at my 6 week check up. ever since then i have had issues with dryness, vaginal discharge, lower desire for sex. i have looked online at other blog sites about the topic and have noticed that a lot of women have been having the sames issues while they were on mirena. I had beento he dctor about 6 times in a 2 year span because i had discharge so much i felt like i had an infection all the time.
turns out i was right, every time i went to my doctor she treated me for a regular bv (bacterial vaginosis, a simple bacterial infection) . the treatment is a gel that you insert for 5 days consecutively. i would feel relieved after treatment, but only for a week or so. i got so tired of it that i took the mirena out and decided that my body just doesn't agree with the mirena. since then things (for the most part ) have gotten better. sex drive is better, not so much discharge, and not so much dryness, however i still use lube every time.
i have tried KY, Uberlube http://www.****.com/ (this is really nice, and doesn't leave that sticky feeling. it has Vitamin E and once you're done, it will just soak into your skin and moisturize), Pink http://www.****.com/ (really nice and silky, not thick and sticky).those are the most i like.
Maybe you should talk to your doctor about using a different brand of IUD or an alternate method altogether.
i'm also goin to be trying Replens ( http://www.****.com ) or possibly some kind of estrogen pill. hopefully that works. Good luck to you!
I have the same issue and My boyfriend thinks I dont find him attractive that is not the case I just am so worried that im not pleaseing him or that I will get dry that I get dry we try lubes and they do work but he is convinced that i dont love him enough. Please help! I dont want to lose him. I also have an injured knee I just wish he would realize its not him but me.
I have the same problem with dryness! I love the KY warm.. It feels so good and not greasy! I just try to make it pleasurable for him too!! Like if I feel myself getting dry I slowly stop intercourse and go back to foreplay and go down on him for a few mins then I rub the KY warm on him with a lil hand job action going on so it feels good for him as well! We just make it part of sex every time.. Just relax and enjoy yourself trust me if he see's you enjoying your self it is a big turn on for him..
What does it mean when I am really turned on and really wet before sex and as my husband try's to enter me it's hard to get it in (like my vagina is too tight and its pulling skin in). After a couple of in and outs it feels good and I'm really turned on but then sometimes (the timing is always different) it starts hurting like its dry but when I try to feel if I am really dry but I am not I am still wet. What could cause this? We have tried using lube but it sometimes feels dry and burns.
I have never had this problem before even while my husband and I were dating, but then one night it happened and has almost ever since.
I am 37 and had a complete hyster and since then my sex drive has went down hill. My husband and I have always had a good sex life but it seems that lately I have a hard time getting wet and reaching orgasm. I had ovairian cancer when I was 15 and since then I have been cancer free. I take zoloft every day (100mg). What can I do to improve ny sex life?
Hey Myron. What you said is very true. I am thinking of doing exactly the same thing: stop watching porn and stop mastrubating. I jerk off when doing the two, but I don't when having an intercourse with my wife. I have a strong feeling that those two actions have had a significant effect on me psychologically, and I would want to stop both so that I can enjoy sex with my wife. I would appreciate any further advice you might have.
I am on the Mirena too. Dry as dry can be and uncomfortable for him when he penetrates deep. If you find an answer please let me know. I will do the same thing. Glad it's not just me having this problem with the Mirena. Considering having it taken out and getting the irreversible procedure done. We are in our 40's and he doesn't want children, I can't have more technically, being 46. Good luck.
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