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dry too small vagina
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dry too small vagina

My wife is petite and never had children. She is post menopausal and has a serious family history of breast cancer so hormones are OUT. We haven't had sex for 7 years and I'm going nuts. I won't cheat on her and masturbation is unsatisfying. The problem isn't just dryness as lube would solve that. She's always been "snug" for me but now her vagina has shrunk up such that it is impossible for me to penetrate. Her ObGyn is no help. All she suggests is a hormonal cream that causes her to break out in acne like a teenager. We saw a brief TV ad for some sort of device or ring for this but don't know it's name nor have we seen the ad again.
16 Comments Post a Comment
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1696489_tn?1370825574
Hhhmmm.... have you tried extra foreplay, and maybe a 'toy' to help her open up more?  Sorry, but I don't have any other ideas.  Blessings - Blu
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Avatar_f_tn
Yes and thanks for the suggestion. Her ObGyn is at a loss on this. She tried the hormone cream for two months and had to stretch herself  every day. Came close but then the damned acne set in and that was unacceptable. It's not like I'm huge. I'm considered at top end average but at this point she can only accept what she refers to as "pencil dicks" and that ain't me. I can manipulate her to orgasm but neither oral nor manual does **** for me. I need the real thing. She wants to do whatever helps but I won't allow her to take a chance on hormone treatments that will surely give her breast cancer. She is already in danger of it.
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Avatar_f_tn
I would get a new ob/gyn.  Have they considered vaginismus at all?  

If the cream worked, then why not go for treating the acne with something else to deal with it?  I'm on a med that has caused acne, but since I need the med, we added in Retin-A and some benzoyl peroxide wash, which has cleared things up.

What are you and your wife's thoughts on anal?  Menopause shouldn't have changed anything about her anus/colon that I know of, and you would get the feeling of the real thing.

Sorry, I don't have many ideas here.  Hope something helped.
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Cat
I could be your wife. I have the same problem, and a very similar history. I do have a suggestion. Check out the website vaginismus.com. There are books and you can buy a vaginal dilator to stretch the vagina. It does require diligence and it will take time. I'm afraid I didn't stick to the plan after a few months, but I think there is hope. I intend to start on the program again when I can dedicate some time every day. Good luck, jazzbby
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Cat
I believe you are looking for the Novoring, fits like a diaphram.
Ditch the ob/gyn., or might try the cream again, with the acne treatment.
Also, could your wife maybe not like penetration anymore for a psychological reason?Good luck, keep working on it.
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Avatar_f_tn
Definitely not psychological. She is as frustrated as me. I'm 6" and 1 1/4" dia. yet even with KY lube I pushed and pushed as gently as I could and it was like a 1/2" opening. That was after plenty of foreplay.  She can only get one finger in herself. With the cream she has managed two fingers after a month..  She is currently trying the cream again and will try again soon.
Thanks ALL for the suggestions.
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Avatar_f_tn
Thanks. I'll check it out. I never heard of one.
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Avatar_f_tn
Never heard of Novoring, I'll look it up. Thanks.
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Business_woman2
I'm not as small as your lovely wife but I also have experienced the same discomfort. Also breast cancer runs in my family on my mothers' side strongly.  I have notorious hot flashes and will not take hormones. My late father was a great doctor and he always was against hormones. If he were alive today, he could most likely, tell me what to do. I will keep up with this. Thank you for putting this question out there. I will start to look for an answer. I don't wish to stop making love either! Novering looks a little frightening. Going to look for a natural alternative.
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Avatar_f_tn
I think they mean the NuvaRing, but I don't think you'd want it.  It's a hormonal contraceptive, similar to the birth control pill, which is not recommended past age 35 due to increased risk of blood clots.  It's great for young women who don't want to get pregnant, but I don't think it's what you're looking for.
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Avatar_f_tn
Thanks so much. I hope you can "channel" your father's advice. And I hope you don't end up with a similar problem after menopause!
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Avatar_f_tn
Thanks. NuvaRing I've heard of and it's out due to hormones.
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Avatar_f_tn
My wife has informed me that she has secretly been using the cream again. I don't mean to brag but I am the BEST oral sex guy for women ever, according to all my old girlfriends. Since my wife is multi-orgasmic I'm hoping I can stimulate her enough that I can enter. If not, at least I can help her. Cross your fingers for me this weekend.
If this works I will try to delete this posting as she doesn't know I did it.
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Avatar_f_tn
I was surprised how much was listed under that search (including shysters looking for a buck.). I'm checking them out. My wife does not know I wrote here as I don't want to add to her anxiety. Currently I am in a medical situation of my own but she indicates she is ready to try when I'm ready. OLD AGE ***** BIG TIME!!
On another subject: Does anyone know how to delete this listing? Medhelp won't answer me.  
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Avatar_f_tn
They don't like you deleting posts, or rather, doing it for you.  They might charge you up to $25 I think (it's somewhere in the terms and conditions).  You can probably get someone through the help feature.
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Avatar_f_tn
Thanks. Screw them. I'll never used this site again. At least ALL the I.D. info is fake. :D :0 :)
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