I have a gellhorn pessary and Intercourse is impossible with the pessary.
Removing is difficult and I have rarely Intercourse.
sorry im not sure that i can answer either one of your questions, but i will say that i have found gynaecologists to be more sympathetic to the urinary symptoms of women...
do you have a good gynaecologist already? if so i would go and see them, and you certainly shouldnt have to be putting up with your symptoms
good luck :) you may also find that you have other options than a pessary too - make sure you ask your doctor how each option will affect your ability to have intercourse.