family

[RMancil]

ok i found out i am actually 6 and a half weeks along today not 2-4. this is not really about the pregnancy - i am just upset with my husbands sister becasue she went against my husbands and my wishes. we agreed not to tell her kids (7 and 8) and it was MY choice and decision but i didnt care if our ADULT family and friends knew because they understood more than kids if something happened. well the DAY after she flat out tells her son (7) and lied to my husband when he asked if she told the boy. she said "no why would i do that?" and she is telling everyone before i can! well my friend D is mad at me saying i should have faith and NOT keep it a secret (which i wasnt - she misunderstands me)  that i shouldnt care. am i right to be upset? i will be any way but am i not correct that she should have obeyed the decision she even AGREED on?

[RMancil]

thanks - i dont want to start the confrontation myself though - i miscarried last time becasue they caused a very stressful night for me over NOTHING. so i really dont want to argue again but i wanted to know if i had the right to be upset. my husband is the one who will argue with her for me! ;)  thanks!

[AnnieBrooke]

Well, at least from now on, she will not wonder why you choose to keep her in the dark on things and she winds up almost the last to know.  (It's useful to know if someone is not to be trusted with exciting news.)  So sorry she told others besides her son!  The upshot is, probably the kids will understand if anything happens, but she still owes you an apology for spilling the beans.  Not that you'll get one (LOL) but she's made her bed now.  No more secrets for her forever. :)

[RMancil]

thanks - i agree 2wiceblessed. anniebrook i didnt actually tell all of the adults friends - just the sister in law and she agreed with our decision not to tell her kids. i was just so mad that she went ahead and told them right after AND everyone else. the telling the boy was what really made me mad then lying about it. i went ahead and told her daughter cause it wasnt fair that on knew but not the other. its like my mom was the only one i got to tell the joy to! but thanks both of you for input :)

[2wiceblessed]

You have every right to be upset. This is you and your husbands good news to share with whom you choose to, in your own time. My mom always told us to wait until the 2nd tri. to share our pregnancy w/ family and friends, but I was always tooo excited to wait. It should be yours and your husbands choice when to share your news and whom with.

[Jenni6485]

Oh what a B word!!! This is YOUR special time!!! She's making your special time all about her, by making herself the source of the attention.
Does that make sence?
I would tell you to stick up for yourself, what she did is totally wrong, she's stealing your thunder.
I was devistated when my boyfriends sister told his whole side of the family before we got to... I mean, I go tell his mom, and she goes "oh I know honey, how is everyhing"...
My excitement when SCHOOP, right out the window.
So, the result of that, I told his sister how I felt. and what is our business isnt her to tell.
... it's worse when the BF tells his mom about a fight we had, and then the WHOLE entire family has their 2 cents to say, even when a week has passed and we're totally over that fight.

So yeah, Id definately say something. It hurts a lot, I know the feeling.

[AnnieBrooke]

If she agreed and broke an agreement, that is not very honest of her.  That said, if you want total control of interesting and exciting information, you really can't tell anyone, including trusted adults.  When I was getting ready for the IVF we did, I told a few close family members, and was actually pretty surprised that the secret held as well as it did.  People overhear things, especially kids who are always around.  You sort of have to expect that no matter how many caveats you put on the information, once it leaves your own mouth, it is not entirely yours any more.  You told, why shouldn't they?  Let her know you are disappointed that her children know, but try to go a little easy on the issue if possible.