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friendships

I'm not even sure what I'm expecting to acomplish by posting this, but you all have been so suportive to myself and other women. I'm just upset and felt like posting I guess. Ok, my best friend of 12 years has pretty much just dropped me like nothing. She has been reading this book called the Secret, and now it's her new bible. She refuses to be friends w/ me now because I don't agree w/ most of the things in the book. She thinks that if I'm friends w/ her then my negitivity will make bad things happen in her life. She is very educated, smart, seems to have a good head on her shoulders, but now everything has changed. She has taken this book WAY too far. She really believes that if you will something, it will happen. I mean in more of a magical way. I'm all for postive thinking, but not by magic. I'm just upset because we have been so close for so many years and just overnight she drops me like our friendship didn't mean anything all these years. She won't talk to me, won't answer her phone, reply to emails, nothing. Yesterday she emailed me telling me that she now is better than me and that I don't deserve to have her in my life. Anybody that doens't believe the things she does isn't worth anything. I't just makes me so sad, this just isn't like her at all. I guess I just needed to get it out. Thanks for listening.
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Avatar_f_tn
WOW, that is soo unfourtunate! I have only heard a little bit about this Secert phenomenom, (I missed the Oprah episode) like on the news. It seems some ppl are going nuts over it and are going a little insane..I don't know much about it but, I feel like a skeptic and don't have any desire to check it out at all. Your friend seems to me like the kind of person that goes into something full force and completely involves herself in it. I don't believe that is healthy, especially when you start to hurt your best friends of many years...Maybe once she has been unsatisfied by the lack of results, she'll come back down the earth and apologize for her down right rude, selfish behavior..Just because you are not into it, doesn't mean you are wrong or not worthy of being in her life. I would give her some time and see if she comes out if this trance, and try to repair what you can. Until then, I would find some other close friends that maybe more stable and less hurtful..Hope things get better soon.
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She sounds like a very easily led person, to allow a book to dictate who she should and should not be friends with.  At the end of the day if those are her views then she'll end up a very lonely woman and all for a few words written on a bit of paper.  I would feel very sorry for her.  

Nalla, i've followed your posts in the past and you seem like a lovely woman,  i know it must be very upsetting to be treated this way by a person you thought you could trust.  I'd move on from your friendship and concentrate on the people that are always there and are strong in your life.  Perhaps you could remind her that the bible is the only book that she should be using as an example for life, if she believes in it.  Good luck, i'll be praying for you.
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Avatar_n_tn
I too have followed your posts in the past and think you are a bright lovely person.  My best friend dropped me last year because I didn't agree with her murdering her dog.  Long Story....

Just wanted you to know I know how you feel and am here if you need to talk.

Becky
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She sounds like she is a lost pup who thinks she has found her way. I remember when I read the DaVinci Code I kind of changed my views for a while when the book was still fresh in my mind. My guess is that as time goes by the memory and ideas of the book will fade and she will be back to being herself again. The question is if you are going to forgive her for hurting you the way she has. It's unfortunate but some people REALLY get engulfed in things like this. Evenutally they come around. My girlfriend did something similar. I just let it pass. We are still best friends and laugh about it now. I hope that is what happens in your case. Good luck.
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Avatar_n_tn
I have read the secret as you know...
Not in a million years would I be brainwashed into thinking that the people who are important to me were any different than they were before I read the book.
The book talks alot about the laws of attraction and positive thinking...
There are however some hokey things in the book that I'm not sure are totally accurate.
It's pretty sad...that your friend would ditch you after 12 years of friendship.
I am sorry that she is so overcome by this new way of life...or whatever you want to call it.
Why not ask her for some more info on it....If it is so true...wouldn't she want to share it with you???
I have read alot of things...but I am not a diff person from reading the secret.
I have however learned from the book....not to let things get to me as much...and I do try to stay positive and with that said...I have lessened some stresses in my life.
It sounds almost cultish..if that's a word.
Maybe pick it up at the library...you may find it interesting....but if i were in your shoes..I may even be scared to read it...since it changed your friend into a completely diff person over night.
I would be terribly upset if that happened to me.
Take Care
Jack
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Avatar_n_tn
I really think you should stay away from your friend for a while , I am shocked that she said your negative thinking was responsible for your childs disability . Please do not dwell on these very unkind words or you will make yourself ill , there is no way that is true and I think your friend needs professional help if she has that way of thinking . Take care - Silver
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Avatar_f_tn
Thanks everybody. Your support means a lot to me. I did read the book and some of the things in there were good, but as somebody also said there were some weird things too. But my friend has taken it to a completly different level. One thing that botherd me the most is she went on and on about my son. As some of you know he was born with spina bifida. She says that my negitive thinking brought that on to him and that I'm a horrible mother because I won't "will" him to get better and healed from the spina bifida. She thinks it's wrong to take him to the Dr. and let the Dr.s help him, that it's my job and I can heal him with my positive thoughts. Which I know is just not true, Yes, I have heard of positive thinking helping or even healing certain people, but not in this case. I never dwell on the negitives with him, and am so gratefull every day what he has been able to acomplish so far, and what I'm sure he will in the future. He just does things in a different way, (like walking) and there is nothing wrong with that. Which she doens't agree with.
This all just makes me so sad because we have been so close for so many years and in the blink of an eye it's all over. She has said so many hurtful things to me this past two days. If things in her life go back to normal then I would be willing to listen to her. I don't want to hold a grudge, it just hurts right now.
It's just scary what she has gotten into. She has a whole group of friends that get together once a week and discuss this book, or their way of living. I agree, it does sound like a cult. Not the book, but her new way of life.
She has even decided not to go to Dr.s anymore because she believes she can heal herself. And that she is like God in human form. I just pray that she doesn't end up conceiving a child right now. (they are trying) It's scary that if something goes wrong with that baby and she won't take him/her to the Dr.

Sorry, I'm just rambling and guess have a lot to get out. I just wish that I could just get over this. I pray that she will eventualy see how the world really is sooner rather than later.
Thanks again everybody for your support.
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Avatar_n_tn
I too would be very hurt and upset if that happened to me , maybe your friend will in time return to the person you once knew . You do sound like a lovely person and I hope you will be able to rekindle your friendship very soon . take care -Silver
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Avatar_f_tn
I agree with you. I think getting it out and talking about it has helped. It still hurts, but she isn't somebody that I need in mine or my family's life. In a way it feels like she has died though. It's just a sad situation all around.
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Avatar_n_tn
Hi,
  My best friend since middle school (I am now 26) went to a place, which will remain nameless. After sometime, she says she was brainwashed by this place and hasnt been the same since. She cannot function on her own. In other words she cannot hold a job and she currenly lives off of the government. At one point she wrote me a letter and explained how she new that I felt she was weak and stupid ect. (mind yo this was her illness turning her against me). My point is that if she happens to realize at some point now or later that what she is doing is rediculous, she may need your help to get back on track. These sort of tings have a way of bringing mental harm to those who truely believe in it.
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Avatar_n_tn
I have the DVD.  It was given to me as a present  but thankfully I didn't fall out with the person who sent it.  It is absolute rubbish.  How anyone with any sense could take this nonsense and use it as a 'bible' for living is beyond any intelligent comprehension.  I agree with all the above posts.   It's sad she said the things she did but she is so wrong.
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