i don't know if i can get pregnant

When i was little from 8 to 13 i was molested by my stepdad, and i've tried to get pregnant several times, and its never happened, does it have anything to do with being molested or am i just messed up? I'd really like to have kids if not now, some day...but i'm not sure i can actually get pregnant i don't see why i haven't already i've tried everything. Whats wrong with me?

[tnt406]

HI HON HOW ARE YOU DOING?HAVE YOU HAD ANY HORMONE TESTS DONE?MAYBE YOU NEED A BOOST IN SOME OF THEM TO GET YOU KICK STARTED SO TO SPEAK.MAYBE YOU COULD TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT THIS AND SEE WHAT THEY SAY.I KNOW YOU THINK THE CHILD MOLESTING IS KEEPING YOU FROM GETTING PREGNANT.YOU NEED TO GET CHECKED FIRST BY YOUR DOCTOR.SHE WILL ALL SO DO SOME HORMONE TESTING PROBABLY TO MAKE SURE THERE ALL IN BALANCE.YOU TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF AND COME BACK AND TALK WITH US ANY TIME.TNT406

[greenpixie]

First, so sorry to hear you had to go through that with your stepdad.  When you say you've been trying, what measures have you taken?  Have you started BBT charting to make sure you ovulate, have "normal" cycles, etc? How long have you been trying?  It takes a while for a lot of people and unless you've been trying for about a year (if you're under 35) then don't assume you have a problem just yet.  If you're truly concerned, talk to your GYN.  I would get a good book on conception and fertility to make sure you are increasing your chances in every possible way.  Best of luck!

[brandnewtragedy]

Well no i've not had testing, by trying i mean, i was engaged about 2 years ago and him and i were trying for a baby, nearly every day. Nothing. And this time i wasn't actually trying to get pregnant, i have a friend with benifits, and for a while i THOUGHT that i was pregnant, i took 2 tests one was pos. one was neg. and i'm going to planned parenthood friday to find out for sure but i have a feeling its neg. I honestly don't think that i can get pregnant. Thats really upsetting, I'm still really young i mean, i'm 19. And i shouldn't be thinking about having kids before i'm married or w/e but someday, i'd like to. And it just seems that if i can't because of the stuff with my step dad....well my mom, no  one beleived me, but the proof, doesn't seem worth it. idk what to do... -Brandi

[tnt406]

DEAR BRANDI MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU.I AM 33 YEARS OLD OLD,I WAS MOLESTED BY MY DADDY.I HAVE FOR GAVE HIM,BEACAUSE THAT IS WHAT GOD WANTS US TO DO FOR GIVE.I AM NOW CARING FOR MY DADDY,HE HAS A TUMOR ON HIS LUNG, HE HAS IT REMOVED TOMORROW.I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOUR STEP DADDY DONE,BUT IT SHOULDN'T BE CAUSING YOU PROBLEMS NOT TO CONCIEVE (conceive).UNLESS HE VIOLENTLY ABUSIVE IN AWAY TO WHERE HE MIGHT HAVE DAMAGED YOUR REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS.GOING TO PLANNED PARENTHOOD FRIDAY IS A REAL GOOD IDEA.YOU ARE NOT ALONE,THERE ARE SEVERAL WOMEN WHO HAVE SURVIVED SEXUAL MOLESTATION.WE SHOUT AT THE TOP OF OUR LUNGS SAYING WE ARE NOT WEAK WE ARE STRONG AND WE WILL OVER COME THIS EVERY DAY.I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS TO BRANDI,PRAY TO GOD IN HEAVEN TO GIVE YOU STRENGTH EVERY DAY,AND HE WILL.TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF BRANDI GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU.TNT406

[brandnewtragedy]

Ok thank you very much, i have an appointment at 9:45 friday morning. so i'll get it all fixed hopefully. Thanks for the advice it is much appreciated. -Brandi

[tnt406]

YOUR WELCOME BRANDI COME BACK TO THE FORUM AND TALK WITH US AND LET US KNOW HOW YOUR DOING HON.TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF.TNT406

[Rawme]

I'm not sure what state u live in, but it sounds like a third world country! You are only 19 and maybe u r just blessed to no get prego at this time. I highly doubt ur  truly able to care for urself  let alone another life. Get an education & find a husband before u end up knocked up and alone. It sounds that u r trying to fix ur problems this way. Try a good therapist to help u through this. I can tell u r truly crying for help. Oh & for that tnt406 u forgiving ur pervert dad does not make open the doors to heaven & if that is ur choice then so be it. Don't assume that is the right thing & encourage this girl to forgive that animal who striped the tragedy girl of her purity & dignity. You just want acceptance & will go to any extreme to get it. If u feel validated for caring for ur dieing nasty father than rock on, but u should protect ur kids from this beast!

[BriannasMommy]

im 19 and and i just had my baby 6 weeks ago hunny having a baby is a blessing i love brianna with all my heart but i was enrolled in UNH with a full scholarship (i was a foster child) for forensic science i was going to be a Medical examiner 6 years of college paid in full. now im going for nursing with e pell grant cuz im a single mother. its a bout a 4th of the pay and im not as proud. i didnt think i could get pregntnt me n my boyfriend were having sex everyday for over 2 years (were kinda nimfs lol) so i just figured i couldnt get pregnent. then all of a sudden here comes baby brianna. so now im at a cummunity college with a baby thankfully i have a loving fiance who pays all the bills and supports me in school and helps with the baby but he also works 10-12hr days so hes tyerd to. you wanna affer your baby the best of everything so and have the most oppertunities to fulfil her/his dreams so basicly what im saying is

A. You dont know you cant get prego till you see a doctor (took me 2 years)
B.Have a life 1st go to college have a husband do it by the book its worth it!
C. love that baby more then you ever loved anything in the worl
D. GET AN EPIDURAL!!! lol (16 hrs of back labor then decided to get one)

[ThePrincess07]

TO rawme: I personally dont think you have the right to judge someone's decision based upon their age and if she wants to forgive her stepdad then she has the right to do it because I'd rather forgive someone than to have that on my mind...

Brandnew: I wish you the best with what the doctor says...im not saying that its fine to have a child at a young age but as I read your blog you was talking about how your worried about how its affecting you later in the future and everyone else is by passing that and thinking that your talkin about now..just be wise in all your decisions....                                                                                                                    The Princess                  

[Rawme]

B's Mommy Congrats on all of ur accomplishments. There is no perfect way to live life, but it is very real of you to recognize how much easier things could of been. However you are blesses and sound as if you remain on track & focused with your goals in life. AND your man sounds great!

     Now, to brandnew;  Hello wake up! What ever personal crisis u have is ur own, & u need some help also if u believe that forgiving is forgetting... But you sound pretty egocentric & judgemental towards me. Get off you high horse because your advise is wack! Read between the lines, she has  bigger issues in life & getting prego is noway the solution. She needs a foundation & to seek help were someone will actually listen, believe, & help her. Did u overlook that her mom is in denial. Compensating as a good mommy is pretty hard if u have no financial, physical, or moral support. This will create a bigger problem & with her track record she has yet to settle with just one. But why not, she is only 19 &needs to grow.

[Rawme]

This blog is too old to care about LOL! I guess this is the most feedback it's ever got LOL!

[readymom]

i've been told by family that because i have such bad cramps when im on my period that it means i wont be able to get pregnate.Is this true or a myth?i really want a baby soon while im young and ready.

[Kim1989]

i dont think thats tru. why how young are you

[NiNi4584]

I dont think I'm able to have kids, I have been trying for about 2 years now and still have nothing. When I was a child, sad to say, I was not taking care of my body like I should have been. I was having unprotected sex and wound up with Chlamydia. I honestly dont know how long I had it before I went to the doctor and was diagnosed and treated. I mean I was only having sex with one guy and after him I was not doig it for a looooong time. I read something that stated untreated STD's can cause scar tissue and infertility. Could my irresponsible behavior have something to do with my problem? If so, how will I know for sure? I really want a family with my boyfriend!

[LATINA1327]

I WANT TO GET PERGNANT BUT I DONT KNOW IF I CAN GET PREGNANT WILL IM IN MY TEN DAY . OR HOW  WILL I KNOW IF I CAN T GET PREGNANT?

[LATINA1327]

I WANT TO GET PERGNANT BUT I DONT KNOW IF I CAN GET PREGNANT WILL IM IN MY TEN DAY . OR HOW  WILL I KNOW IF I CAN T GET PREGNANT?

[aderose89]

hi my name is andrea im 20 yrs old and i have been w my fiance for 4 yrs now (high school sweethearts), and we have talked about having a family and were not ready rite now(which is why we do use protecetion) but what measues could/should i take to find out if i can concieve (conceive) bc my cycle is irregular? also i have fetal alcohol syndrome which just means i am really tiny for my age (98 lbs 5'2'') i was born w it and idk if that would contribute any complications.. thank you
andrea

[blushes211]

hi im young. im 18 years old and i have had sex many times wit my bf and he has *** in me many times and i hav not gotten preg. but mi mom says that in our family the females get preg very quick. lik we hav a large family. even mi aunts hav like atleast 5 kids . an mi mom has 7 all together and im the 2nd oldest girl. n mi mom tells me 2 b careful but i dont c y bc nothing has happen 4 me 2 get preg. And we even hav sets of twins in the families. and i am not on brith control. Am i able 2 get preg? how can i kno? please sum 1 with answers let me kno so i kno 4 mi future

[cozette2010]

It seems Im not alone with wonting to start a family. Im also young 21 and my bf 20. I wont just one right now but Im also scared I cant. I was really  wonting to no y is it that the ones whom really wont a baby to care for, love and to treat better then we were treated can't. It ***** but is it a sign or wat. I feel that everyone understands that having a baby is a lifelong thing and will come with different type of problems, heck wat in life doesn't then. I feel its not fair to say that im to young to take care for my baby i have come along way with the support of my bf and his family i can go ne where. I feel that with the support of at least one person every young girl can do there part. life is hard we all no but y cant i decide wat in my life will b the hard part. whats hard for you may b simple to me so dont judge me no one is perfect people we all just have to go threw things.

[nena26]

i'm about to be 27 and i want to start a family but i cant get pregnet i dont know why.my mom had nine of us my sister has a daughter and my brother ha 4 kids and mom has cancer and is going to die soon and i want to be able to give give her a grand child before she goes. i never grew up with her because i was sick and now that she's back in my life me and my husbin want this for all three of us

[0endlessdreamer0]

I'm only 17. I'm not trying to start a family yet, but I've had sex before where the male "finishes" everytime. I can't seem to find myself getting pregnant. My cycle is fine. Recently I have been trying to get pregnant.....(long story). It just isn't working. I read the part about the hormones? Maybe that's what I need to do. My boyfriend and I talk about our future together a lot. I'm not going to try and jump into it. Just the fact that I'm waiting month to month for my period to not show up is depressing because I have high hopes in this. Life seems to not be allowing what I want. I don't have to start a family yet :/ But I truly would like to know whether I can get pregnant or not to save the tears.

[RaeRae1223]

Hi i am a mother of one and i have been in a relationship with this guy for a while now and we are trying to have a baby BUT i am unsure if i can get preganant again. Last year i had an Ectopic pregnancy where a portion of my left tube had to be removed and now i am terrified that i may never be able to give him a child or myself for that matter. I really need help!!!

[linzi91]

Iv been with my partner for 5 year and we have been trying for children for nearly 3 year now I really want children but there is sumthing going wrong sumwere along the lins of mine or his fatallaty I was just wondering if there was any sign I need to look out for of infatalaty as I really am pretefided of the doc's lol much appresiated :)

[melmel1989]

I had four kids n 2 abortion I been trying to get pregnant for 2 yrs but nothing happened yet what's wrong with me

[SweetiePie271985]

I want to have a child. I think I'm finally ready in my life to have one....the only problem is I dont think I can have one. I'm 27 about to be 28 in a few weeks and I'm really at a lost. All my closes friends have children and I feel like the outcast. I was with my ex for 6 years and nothing. Then once we broke up he had a child and that made me feel like it was me the whole time. It was a blessing not to have his child(ren) but that only has me second guessing my reproductive system. I've been a diabetic since '07 and I was told that, that could play a part in the slow breeding process. Other than that I'm healthy. I was overweight but I recently lost 60lbs. What can I do?! I really wanna have a child before I become too old.

There is no good way to say this, so I'll just be blunt. Many women who were sexually abused as children were infected with STDs by the molester/rapist, but didn't know it. When a girl gets infected at a young age, before puberty, her reproductive organs are not mature and so symptoms often go unnoticed -- and also the body can not effectively fight it, because all of the organs' normal disease-fighting abilities have not matured yet. This also often allows the STD bacteria to get very far up into the reproductive organs.

By the time these young women want to have children, they may have had undiagnosed and untreated STDs for years. This can result in something called PID, Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. PID has a high incidence of causing scarring and infertility problems. Many women don't know they have it until they keep having severe abdominal pain that is intermittent but painful enough to force them to go to a gynecologist or to the ER. Often they suffer with these symptoms for years before going to a gynecologist because they hate going so much and are embarrassed or ashamed because of what was done to them as children, through no fault of their own.

All of that having been said... There is no way to know what is wrong or why you can't conceive without going to a gynecologist and getting thoroughly checked out. I know many women who have been molested/abused hate going to the gynie but that's really the only way to figure out what is wrong.

Also, maybe there is nothing wrong with you... maybe the guy you're having sex with is shooting blanks (there's no sperm in his semen) or maybe his sperm are low-motility or there aren't enough of them.

But if you've had a lot of sex without using any birth control, and you haven't gotten pregnant... then, yeah, you really need to see a gynecologist. Because that's not normal. My cousin had been having unprotected sex with boyfriends since she was 13. She's going to turn 43 this month and she's never gotten pregnant, not one time. She found out about 10 years ago that she has endometriosis and that everything was so inflamed and scarred up that she was unlikely to ever have children.

Personally, I would never have a kid without a husband/father. Things are bad the last few years. Nothing is stable. The economy *****. You're lucky if you have a job, but I don't feel like instantly making myself twice as poor by having a baby by myself. If I don't have a good man to be the father and husband, I'm not doing it.