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i need advice
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i need advice

I am 16 and my bf and i want to have sex for the first time and i was just wondering is there any advice i shoud take, what should i expect and what to do afterwards.
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134578_tn?1404951303
Well, sweetheart, I think the first thing is to be on birth control.  If your mom is your friend on this interesting plan, or anyway if your mom is there for you, ask her to get you to the ob-gyn and get you a prescription for the pill.  It's the most reliable, although no protection against disease, so get familiar with condoms also.

If you have ever held a condom in your hand, you'll know that it unrolls only one way.  If you had a knee-high sock on and rolled it down instead of pushing it down, so it made a little circle like an inner tube by the time it was off, you'll know that unrolling such a thing by putting your foot into it will only work by putting the toe into the side that is flat across.  Otherwise it won't unroll.  Condoms are the same way, they don't go on upside-down.  Practice on a banana so you know what to do in the heat of the moment.

Please, please don't let your boyfriend con you.  Guys want sex, and teenage guys want it all the time.  They will say anything to get it.  Insist on the condoms.  This is especially true if you don't feel you can tell your mom and get on the pill, but it is true in any case.  CONDOMS ALWAYS.  Lubricated condoms are the most comfortable.

Don't have sex just to please your boyfriend, have it only if you, yourself, your own body, is just aching for it.  Try a few times and if it is really not fun, stop.  One girl wrote on this site that she simply couldn't get excited and where was the fun?  But it was clear that the only reason she was having sex is that she felt her boyfriend would break up if she didn't.  Her body was telling her she really *wasn't* having fun.  Being coerced emotionally can turn off your physical response.

The first time, you might be so nervous that it won't be comfortable.  Give it time and lots of foreplay, and that will help.  Do the kind of things you do now for excitement, and add the sex at the end.

I hope it's good for you.  If you were 15, I'd advise that you wait, 15 is awfully young for sex.  16 is to me borderline, 17 is OK and 18 is pretty admirable in this day and age.  But you could wait a lot longer if you want.  Once you have had sex, you'll find it doesn't make you any more grown up, or more special, and it adds a few adult worries to your plate when you do still have the right to do the carefree things that only teenagers can do in our world.  I know kids are in a rush to grow up, but they don't get a do-over, and adult life, while autonomous, is also sort of lockstep.  Play as much as you can now, unless you become a bazillionaire and can play all the time, live never gives you as much chance as you have right now to just lark around.

Take care.
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Avatar_f_tn
I was your age, too, when I lost it.. Dumb decision. I wish I would've waited until my body liked sex emotionally. Coming from someone who enjoys sex, but is very careful as well, it wasn't worth it, at all.. and Im being flat out honest.

I didn't know what my body liked, didnt like, or hated at the time. It sucked, and I thought "if this is what sex is I could care less for the rest of my life." I'm only 20, but I've learned a ton, and I'd pressure you to wait if I could. But being that you're sixteen, you'll do what you please, so education on the whole subject is the best idea.

Condoms, condoms, condoms. Since you're so young I doubt your parents know, so you probably won't be on the pill for some time. Use condoms, keep them everywhere. The Health Clinic usually has them available for free, and your boyfriend should have some with him anyway.

Your first time probably won't be that enjoyable, possibly painful if you aren't familiar with your body in the way most women are when they enjoy sex to the full extent as they grow physically and emotionally.

Just remember the only way to be 100% safe from pregnancy is abstinence. Pill > 85-99% effective. Condoms 80-98% effective, depending on how you use each one and where you're at in your cycle.

The pill and other methods without condoms do not protect you from disease, so the only way of knowing if you both are clean is if you're tested, at a doctors office or clinic. Some places will do it for free, but most charge you. A pap-smear from your doctor or OBGYN does not include STD testing, you must ask for extra. They can't tell by just looking at you.

Best wishes.
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