Aa
lost my virginity and now im depressed
So about 5 or 6 days ago I lost my virginity and I feel so depressed ever scince I don't know why and me and the guy I lost it to hardly talk I've been so irritated n madd n depressed && I'm thinking itts because of me losinq my virginity by the way I'm 15 :/ what is their to do to make me feel less depressd..?
I'm sorry you had that experience. Sex tends to be an emotional thing for most women and is something you need to be ready for and consider all possible outcomes before doing. When I finally gave mine away (a year ago, age 21 at the time) it was to a man I knew respected me and with whom I had been forming a good friendship throughout our dating relationship (we're still together). I didn't experience any feelings of depression or regret afterward, but I know if I had been in your position (guy just ignoring you after the fact), I surely would have been depressed and full of regret.
All I can say is that guy you slept with isn't worth a second thought, hon. But I would suggest not having sex again until you are sure you are with someone who respects you for you and is interested in more than just fooling around. Until then, focus on you. Find out who you are, what you want in life, where you want to go in life, what you want should you find yourself in a relationship, and don't settle for less. Surround yourself with people who help you feel good about yourself and don't pressure you to do things you don't feel comfortable with. Get to know yourself.
As far as helping with the depression you seem to be experiencing?
1. Is there someone you know whom you can talk to? A trusted friend who won't leak the news around the school or any other friends? A trusted adult (be it a school counselor, a friend of the family, even a family member)? If so, talk to them about what you're experiencing. Make sure they know you are talking to them in confidence and coming to them for help and you'd appreciate them keeping it to themselves. However, if you don't feel you can trust someone to keep your confidence, then don't risk it. If you're having to worry about people finding out, it'll only stress you out more. I do hope you have someone you can trust, and I don't think your counselor can go and tell your parents.
2. Journal. When I was your age, I was in a very deep, deep depression (for different reasons). However, I began to pick up journaling again and just spent hours pouring my heart out in that book, exploring why I was feeling what I was feeling and not holding anything back. It helped me work through my thoughts, and many words and tears later, I felt so much better. It was a way to get out my emotions. Just a few words of advice if you do journal: keep it somewhere you know it's safe, and don't ever, ever bring it to school. My little sister did the latter, and "friends" grabbed it from her backpack, read it, and found out something really bad that happened to her sexually and started teasing her. So, home is the best place for it.
3. Distract yourself. Spend time with friends even though your gut instinct will be to withdraw. Go out to dinner or a movie with a family member. Do a hobby you love. Play music you enjoy, music that makes you feel good and happy. Watch a movie. (Don't focus on dramas and stuff. Try watching a feel-good comedy that never fails to make you laugh.) Yes, these are more temporary fixes, but you'll find they do help.
I hope things start looking up for you!
All I can say is that guy you slept with isn't worth a second thought, hon. But I would suggest not having sex again until you are sure you are with someone who respects you for you and is interested in more than just fooling around. Until then, focus on you. Find out who you are, what you want in life, where you want to go in life, what you want should you find yourself in a relationship, and don't settle for less. Surround yourself with people who help you feel good about yourself and don't pressure you to do things you don't feel comfortable with. Get to know yourself.
As far as helping with the depression you seem to be experiencing?
1. Is there someone you know whom you can talk to? A trusted friend who won't leak the news around the school or any other friends? A trusted adult (be it a school counselor, a friend of the family, even a family member)? If so, talk to them about what you're experiencing. Make sure they know you are talking to them in confidence and coming to them for help and you'd appreciate them keeping it to themselves. However, if you don't feel you can trust someone to keep your confidence, then don't risk it. If you're having to worry about people finding out, it'll only stress you out more. I do hope you have someone you can trust, and I don't think your counselor can go and tell your parents.
2. Journal. When I was your age, I was in a very deep, deep depression (for different reasons). However, I began to pick up journaling again and just spent hours pouring my heart out in that book, exploring why I was feeling what I was feeling and not holding anything back. It helped me work through my thoughts, and many words and tears later, I felt so much better. It was a way to get out my emotions. Just a few words of advice if you do journal: keep it somewhere you know it's safe, and don't ever, ever bring it to school. My little sister did the latter, and "friends" grabbed it from her backpack, read it, and found out something really bad that happened to her sexually and started teasing her. So, home is the best place for it.
3. Distract yourself. Spend time with friends even though your gut instinct will be to withdraw. Go out to dinner or a movie with a family member. Do a hobby you love. Play music you enjoy, music that makes you feel good and happy. Watch a movie. (Don't focus on dramas and stuff. Try watching a feel-good comedy that never fails to make you laugh.) Yes, these are more temporary fixes, but you'll find they do help.
I hope things start looking up for you!
COMMUNITY LEADER
For one thing, I wouldn't have sex again for at least two years, if not three. You can't get your virginity back, but you can learn from the experience and empower yourself by treating your body with respect from now on. My guess is that you did it because you felt like it would make you more special in some way (or more grown up) and you found out it didn't have that effect, and now you're dealing with some regret that makes you feel sad over the loss. All you can do now is go forward, and work hard on doing things that raise your self esteem and make you feel good, instead of things that are a big disappointment. If you can learn things to do that increase your self esteem, the loss of your virginity is a small price to pay. If you can learn to feel good about yourself in a not-so-happy world, you are way ahead of the game in everything.
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