Women's Health Community
open forum/ need to vent!
About This Community:

This patient support community is for discussions relating to women's health issues, including bone health, gynecologic cancers, genetic testing, heart disease, infectious diseases, work issues, mammograms, reproductive health, sexuality, domestic abuse and sexual violence.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

open forum/ need to vent!

Hey ladies please use this as an open forum if needed but i needed to vent! as many of you know i lost my first child in december, tomorrow should have been my due date. i've been so worried about how i would be, but i'm the same as i have been since i suffered my m/c. i'm still so upset. the worst thing is dh doesnt even realise that it's tomorrow. he's noticed i'm a bit more upset. but then again every womans response to are you ok? when you look upset is yeah i'm fine. surely he should know that by now right?? wrong!! i'm so frustrated! it didnt affect him the same way as me. he has 3 kids already, his ex is always rubbing it in. on purpose to. always looking for attention, phoning him saying she's going to kill herself etc. i really can't see why, she has a beautiful son. she's forever phoning and texting me saying horrible things like ha you can't have kids.. it's so childish!!! i'm seriously thinking of becoming a nun!!! to make matters worse i'm late. but i'm on the pill again! any one with any kinds words or advice would be greatly apprichiated!
emma
Related Discussions
14 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I'm so sorry your going thru this.  I always imagine that if something like that happened to me I would be the same way, I just dont think I could handle it well.  I always have thoughts going thru my head anyways so it would just be worse....plus Im like that with my hubby too.  I never tell him whats going wrong, if I did I know he would be understanding, but sometimes I just cant explain my self and the way I feel.  Maybe if you and your hubby could sit down and discuss it and you tell him whats on your mind and how your feeling, Im sure he would understand.  Then he need to sit down and talk to his ex and set boundries.  How does he put up with her calling and rubbing it in, etc?  I know my hubby would be furious.  He needs to stand up to her, for you.  My god Im surpised you havent had a nervous break down yet, with every thing going on.  Just a question....have you thought about counceling, just for you?  It might help to work thru some problems and then you would be talking to someone that wouldnt be judging you.  You could vent, like now, but person to person contact.  I wish you the best and if you ever need to talk, Im here.  Hope all this makes sense...I was kind of rambling.  
Love, Jen
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I am sorry to hear that. I am only 18 so i do not know much about that kind of stuff but i am sorry to hear about your child. I hope you and your partner can work things out and that he understands how you are feeling.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Hi babyblues, Im so sorry to hear of ur loss. How many weeks were u? My sons annaversary is 31st this month, he would of been 5yrs old. I lost him at 34 weeks so that was extremely hard for me and I didnt believe it until he was born. I was induced and gave birth 4 hrs later. I didnt really deal with it at the time, and my hubby was supportive but I felt he didnt feel the same as me. When I tried to talk about it he would clam up, but eventually said it was a lot for him too. He actually buried our son I didnt go. He had to take our son from me and he broke down. That was the only time I have ever seen him cry like that. Maybe your husband doenst want to think about it or like you is trying to hide his feelings to be strong for you.

His ex sounds like a nightmare, cant you change ur number? Tell your husband that her **** is trying at the best of times but now u really dont want to handle her. I actually had a similar prob with my hubbys ex who said the same thing to me. People can be incensitive. I think u need to get away from this woman, maybe she gave u evil eye. I believe this is what happened to me as his ex hated me so much and kept going on about people she knew who had lost their babies.

A councilor may help you or a really good friend. I didnt want a councelor as Im religious and didnt think they would see things from my point of things that it was meant to be, although I shouldnt of used that not to deal with it. Over time the pain will heal, but u will always think about ur little one from time to time. Maybe there was something wrong and ur baby may of suffered if born, so is now in heaven and has avoided the test of life. Thats wat I believe anyway. I think have a good cry let out the tension, and stop pretending to be ok, tell ur hubby let hm be there for you, as Im sure he is waiting to. All the best message back if u like me and Jen are here for u as are others Im sure.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
omg his ex is a freak!!!!!
you should tell her that .....that is exactly why your man is with you, and now with her, she is an unfortunate case ....


i admire you for being strong, i am 19 and had a miscarriage 2months ago, and if anyone said somethinglike that to me, i would bloww,........ dont worry, shes obviously too lame, and i feel sorry that her kids have a mum like that.....

I think if you are close with her kids, and they likeyou, she must be veryyyy jelous,
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
"not with her"
Blank
145992_tn?1341348674
What an evil witch.  Don't worry, your time will come.  She's just miserable because you have the family that she no longer does.  Regardless if you have his child or not she doesn't have him anymore.  I agree with the poster about changing your number.  I wouldn't even let her know that she gets to you.  The more you don't let her affect you the more power you have over her.  Your ex definitely needs to put a stop to it and not feed into her bs.  If she calls saying she's going to kill herself then so be it.  She isn't his problem anymore.  The only connection they have are the kids and that's it.  She's childish and just wants attention.  My fiance's ex tried to cause problems and he put a quick halt to it.  Never again has she tried anything.  She too was jealous because his daughter calls me mom and is very close to me.  Good luck and hang in there...remember you hold all the cards.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
That ex is a complete #$%^&.  I am currently going through an m/c and if anyone said that to me . Oh my God... Words cannot describe what I would do.  

This is hard enough... and then to let some dumb bword say something like that.  

She is soooooooooooooooo jealous of you and from what you wrote down she seems like the type of person that will do anything to make you feel as miserable as she feels.  Don't let her get to you.  It appears that you are taking the classy approach to all this.  She is just acting like a piece of trash.  
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
OMG, that sounds so awful, I am so sorry. That woman is sucha B. Next time she say you can't have kids, tell her 'well at least I can keep my man" HA!!! Sometimes fighting fire with fire is ok;)

You rtime will come whn it is meant to be. Best of luck!! Oh, you should tell your man why you are upset, men are horrible mindreaders unlike us women!

Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Hi.  I'm sorry to hear about your mc.  I to had one 3 years ago, my lil one would have been 2 1/2 now.  It may take a while to get over, and yes tomorrow would be a hard day for me as well.  
I agree with the other post and think that you should let your man in on what your feelings.  He is a man, we take this kind of thing alot harder i believe.  He won't know unless you tell him, and i'm sure he'd like to help you.  
And your man should definitly do something about his ex.  She should not be tormenting you like that.  That is just wrong and selfish of her.  There has got to be another way besides changing the number, b/c if an emergency comes up with the child he would need to be reached.  I suggest he and you sit down and have a talk with this ex and let her know you have feelings and don't appreciate her doing this, and yes it's very childish.  
Well good luck!
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
she should have his mobile number then, and not her home phone, and i wouldnt let her know that you are worried, because thats what she wants to hear, she wnats to know she is succeeding .....i think your man should slap her one, but that would be violence and we dont want that to happen =)

i would ignore her, but if you cant, i would send her an sms that your makiing love to the best man ever.... and he says that his ex was no wayyy as good as you.. hiihhi or better yet, buy his kids something realllyyy cooolll so they can brag to their mum that you got it for them...shel be fuuummiiiinnnggg
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
She's a witch. Just remember, what comes around goes around.. there is alot to say about bad karma!  :)
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Thankyou for your kind words. i have changed my number about 7 times since this started. i really don't know how she gets it again. she is a real psycho mum though, she will come and attack me in the steet etc. my dh has tried everything to stop her but she just says you can't see your son then. she phones up at the last min and says can you have jack this evening even if dh has something planned he has to say yes. take 3 weeks ago it was are anniversary, she told him to be back by 10 so she could drop him of or she would leave him on his own! how does that work. i've told him to phone social services so many times but it say how can i take him away from it's mother, my response is how is she a mother that leave him on his own, goes out drinking every weekend, even while she was pregnant she did this, use my dh as a baby sitter and constnantly takes over doses for attentention if he doesnt text her back within 2 mins. she calls his landline if he don't text back or answer the phone, but why should he. the only time she sould call is to arrange a meeting. to make it just a bit worse my doctor said i most likely lost my baby due to stress, now who could have caused that. 1 good thing is still af is a no show, cant think why as i normally come on after 2 days of finishing my packet, its now 4 days.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
'street' i meant. also she has a assulted my sister, and my dh so many times. we've moved she finds us, when she brings jack round she'll steal one of keys and go get one cut! or take my number of his phone??? she even reads his messages and says why is she sending things like that. she's always texting saying love you and its really upsetting, tries telling me he still sleeps with her. how am i expected not to believe that? but i don't as my dh has more sense to sleep with someone that randomly sleep with 9 men while she was pregnant with him. arggggggggggggggggggggg. thank you ladies you really do help!!
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
i just started posting so i am getting to this after a while but how about a retraining order to keep her away from your house designante a gas station by your house for your DH to pick the son up august 3 was two years since i m/c and it is still painful, but it does get better with time. hope all goes well
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Women's Health Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
The 3 Essentials to Ending Emotiona...
9 hrs ago by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Control Emotional Eating with this ...
Sep 04 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eating Control: How to St...
Aug 28 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
Top Women's Health Answerers
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
old_before_my_time
973741_tn?1342346373
Blank
specialmom
136956_tn?1363091289
Blank
ticked
Mississauga, ON
9090222_tn?1401649595
Blank
Madpi
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
morramber
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
Perak
Mississaug, ON