open.... problem with my daughter

[lucylocket2]

I would post this on the childrens one,but I seem to get great answers from u all. My daughter is 10 she will be 11 next month. I am a very strict mother as far as using proper english and not saying things like - stupid, idiot, shut up, ect. I won't let them say people are fat. That's the "f" word in our house. Yes, some people say I go to far, and my kids will probably cuss like crazy when they are older cause I am so strict about it. It just curls my hair when I hear a kid talking like that. The only Bad word she has said was when we were at the store and she wanted something I wouldn't buy and she told me I had pi##%^ her off. She had no idea it was a bad word. I do have to say she had heard me say it to her Dad. I didn't know she heard me. Like they say little pictures have big ears. Well, here's my ?.  She is in the 5th grade, all the girls she knows is wearing make - up. I told her not till the seventh grade and then she can't wear much. She thinks I 'm terrible for that. Well, I found MAKE -UP in her back pack!!!!! That little bogger has been putting in on after she gets to school!! Needless to say I took it! What age do u all think is a good age? Maybe I am over protective or "old fashioned" . I'm 28, but she acts like I 78! I don't know if I'm ready for puberty?!?!?! Help me before I lose my mind.......

[EmmaCay]

christian school might be they way to go for you if you want her to have certain values. I can understand where you are coming from as a parent and I do think kids grow up way to fast. However, like it was stated earlier that much control is damaging. She just want to be a normal kid. Forcing her to do what you want may even cause her to be more rebellious. I hope this  helps. Good luck.

[lucylocket2]

I just checked the time.It's 8:50 am here, and it's 10:40 pm where you are. Sleep tight

[lucylocket2]

It was me. I used to get in trouble for saying bloody in front of everything. I still to this day don't know why, and of course it made me say it more. I would go in a store with my mom and people would look at me funny. I would make a point to talk really loud so people would hear me.
   I was just curious about the gun thing. It's just something i have always heard.
   my husband asked me what I am doing on the computer all the time. I told him i had talked to somebody from Australia. I think it's the coolest thing!!!

[lucylocket2]

Hey! r u getting worried? when I was your age is when i started using creams and all that. Don't flip out to much cause stress will make them worse. i remember when i was a little girl Mom used to let me put make up on her. When i would put eyeshaddow on her  I used to ask her why when i put it on ,her eye stayed over to the side. her skin was so loose. well, mine are starting to do that. it's very sad, but I am trying to take it in stride. Everybody ages. thre is nothing we can do to stop it. I have tried many, many different creams.My problem is under my eyes. the skin is getting loose. I hate it. I like the oil of olay stuff. I have also used the renu stuff from avon. still though, my make up makes it worse. I don't know why, but it seems to get stuck in the creases. I feel like it makes me look older. My mother in law told me to find a tinted cream for my face. I have looked at walmart, but with two kids it's hard to look. I'm not one to spend a ton of money on make up. Maybe I need to start. If I find that miricle cream I will let u know. I also smoke. that ages me more. You'd think I'd quit, I'm such  wimp. I took it that 81 is when u wore born. Is that right? if it is u still have a while before it starts. Just make sure u use a good cream on your face. i love the oil of olay face cream. It makes my skin look fresh. If you find the fountain of youth, let me know!!!!!

[vbeauty21]

OKAY LET ME SAY OVERPROTECTIVE PARENTS ARE USUALLY THE ONES WHOSE CHILDREN HIDE ALOT OF THINGS FROM THEM.F YOU KEEP BEING STRICT WITH YOUR DAUGHTER SHE WILL NOT CONFIDE IN YOUR ABOUT THINGS SHE HAS QUESTIONS ABOUT OR EVEN THINGS SHE ABOUT TO GO THROUGH.ITS 2006 ABOUT TO BE 2007, KIDS ARE GROWING UP SO FAST NOW, BUT IT DOESNT MEAN YOU HAVE TO GIVE YOU DAUGHTER ALL THE FREEDOM.MAKE UP AT 10 YEAH TOO SOON I AGREE,BUT BARGIN WITH YOUR DAUGHTER,EXPLAIN TO HER THE PURPOSE OF MAKE UP, SOME GIRLS FIND OUT THE MAKE UP CAN SOMETIME ATTACT THE WRONG ATTENTION AN MOTHER DONT WANT THERE DAUGHTER LOOK TOO OLD BEFORE THEY GROW UP. SIT DOWN AND LET YOUR DUAGHTER KNOW SHE DOESNT HAVE OT HIDE THINGS FROM YOU.BECASUE IF SHES HIDDING THINGS FROM YOUR NOW...WOW IMAGINE WHEN SHE GETS IN JUNIOR HIGH AND HIGH SCHOOL.YOU SHOUD PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN, BUT BE FAIR.I KNOW WHEN I WAS THAT AGE MY MOM NEVER SAT ME DOWN AD EXPLAIN TO ME WHY IT WAS ALWAYS NO TO EVERYTHING, AND MAN LET ME TELL YOU I NEVER LISTEN TO MY MOM I KEEP SO MANY SECRET FROM HER AND I WAS A BAD TEEN.SHE NEVER WOULD HEAR ME OUT, NEVER WOULD COMPRMISE WITH ME,IT WAS ALWAYS NO NO NO NO,OTHER PARENTS WERE LETTING THERE KIDS DO THING I COULDNT DO TIL I WAS WY OLDER,SO JUST TALK TO YOUR DAUGHTER HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER, ME AND MY MOM NEVER HAD A OPEN RELATIONSHIP AND I REGRET NOT HAVING ONE NOW.NOW THAT IM OLDER I RESPECT MY MOM SO MUCH, I CAN TELL HER SOMETHINGS BUT I FEE LIKE IF WE HAD A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WHENI WAS GROWING UP I WOULD BE A TOTALLY DIFFERENT PERSON THANI AM NOW.I WOULD HAVE MADE SOME BETTER DESIONS IN LIFE.JUST TALK TO HER....THE MIND OF A KIDS IS JUST CURIOSTY, LET THEM KNOW U HAVE BEEN THERE LISTEN!!!!!!

[lmroswell]

I've got a 10 year old in 5th grade.  We live in S. FL and the makeup thing is not big in her school.  I don't think they would allow it.  The only thing the girls wear, if anything, is lipgloss.  I don't have a problem with that.  Personally, I would discourage the use of makeup at such a young age.  I just don't think it is appropriate at that age.  Maybe agree to a little chapstick, or light gloss.  They come in all flavors, which is what I think the kids want anyway.  Maybe a light perfume or powder.  Shower gels are a good idea, too.  Promise her that when she is older you will have a makeup artist teach her how to put on makeup and do it the right way, when age appropriate.  If you start too early, the next thing she'll want is the gothic look, with piercings to match.  Hope I didn't offend anyone with that remark.  As adults, we do what we want.  For children, we adults guide them the best way we know how, pointing them in the right direction, but, ultimately, they will make their own decisions.  And the language thing, you're right on with that.

[mumwith#4]

Hey - sorry if my post confused you...I did say "...I'm sure there are some public schools over here (that is that aren't Christian or private schools)..." so yes we do have public schools here and I'm sure some of them overlook the make-up thing but it would only be a problem in the secondary (high) schools certainly not in primary schools. The reason I think they would overlook it if at all is because they are less strict than the Catholic/Christian or private schools.

As for the guns...it's funny that you would ask as in Australia this has never really been a major issue that I can think of. You are only allowed to have a gun if you have a licence to use it either in your occupation (ie law enforcement) or are probably on a farm or something. I think there are pistol shooting clubs (there's actually one in my area) but you must have a licence to shoot at the shooting range/targets and of course the guns all stay at the club...you don't bring your own etc. There are some people I remember getting the s**ts about this issue many years ago when the government did a 'buy-back' scheme and everyone had to turn in their guns whether they were licenced or not so basically to my knowledge you cannot have one in your home. Of course there are always criminals and people who will be able to get their hands on one but you rarely hear about this...but it does happen occasionally in crimes.

Anyhow...this is such a beautiful country and Sydney of course is one of the best cities to live in or visit if you ever come here! It's funny I don't know whether it was you or someone else that said they used to talk with an Australian accent when they were young...I used to do the same thing when I was young but with an American accent!!! Whenever I would play with my dolls and Barbies I would always talk American as most of the kids shows and cartoons on TV were American so it influenced our 'imaginative play' I laugh now because my four year old daughter does exactly the same thing when playing!!!

You're right we can be so similar yet so different in culture and that's what makes us all really interesting people!

[AndiJ78]

Don't feel too bad, I have been using Oil of Olay since i was 15. I had taken my 10 year old brother and my roomate's 13 year old son out for lunch one day when I was 15 and the boys were asking for pie. I was in the process of reminding them that they needed to eat lunch first and the waitress says "Oh, Mom, let them have some pie" I about died and literally started using it that day!!

Andi

[shygirl1981]

std's are very rampant in teenagers. they think they are invincible, and therefore don't worry about protecting themselves.  everyone I knew in high school (that was active) had either warts, or chlamydia, or both.

and as far as the wrinkles, yea I think I am kind of worried, because I guess it's really starting to sink in that I'm not 19 anymore. I'm not ready for marriage yet, but I'm afraid that when I am, or when I finally meet a guy I see myself settling down with, he'll dump me for someone younger! I know that sounds stupid right?! I guess if he is mr, right and he loves me for me, he's not going to be concerned about some loose skin here and there........

[AndiJ78]

My mistake, teen pregnancy nationwide is down, but STD's are on the rise according to the CDC. Then only one that is at a low is Gonorrhea, but now they are seeing a spike in drug resistence with that particular disease.

Andi

[have 2 kids]

I have a 10 yr old in 5th grade (middle school)  She wears nail polish and lip gloss occassionally.  She and her friends aren't really into alot of makeup.  But I would let her wear it if she wanted to.  We are more strict with what she wears, no spaghetti strap tops or short mini skirts.

[Mertek]

Teen pregnancy rates have been declining for the past 20 years or so. I don't know about STD's, but my guess is they have decreased too.

https://www.teenpregnancy.org/about/announcements/campaign_update/fall01/ratedown.asp

[shygirl1981]

besides, chamomile tea bags, potatoes, cucumbers (all of which don't seem to work) do you girls have any other suggestions for these annoying eye bags?? what kind of creams are the best, and what do you use to conceal them?

[shygirl1981]

you mentioned you are 28, and you look for foundation that hides wrinkles.....do u really have them already? isn't 28 young to have wrinkles?
have any of you ladies noticed that eye bags get worse the older you are?? I turned 25 this year, and now I have bags under my eyes, I've never had this before!!! it doesnt matter what I do, drink lots of water, rest lots.....they're still there. is this a sign of age?

[ace24]

I would be upset too cause she's only 10 but I have a six yr old who wantgs to wear makeup ugh yeah right and believe it or not the girls in her classes do. My how times have changed...anyhoo...I let my daughter wear only lip gloss her dad hates it but I dont see the harm and I'm sure she'll grow out of it for now. She knows that she will not be able to wear make up until she's atleast 12 but we'll see. It's just so hard because they are growing up so fast.

[lucylocket2]

I get what everybody is saying, and i am the first one to say u can be to strict on your kids. Like if you act like drinking is the devil then what are they going to do when they go out? Drink, just to see if it is. I'm not strict on my kids with everything thogh. I can't even get them to clean their rooms without going off the deep end. I think I might let her wear a lip gloss. Then next year whe will be in middle school (I say as I wipe a tear) . When I was in school it was Jr. High and it didn't start til 7th. So, I guess it's like Jr. high just a little early. I'll let her add a little something then.
It's hard being a Mom!  I'll make it though.

[Mertek]

I really like the idea of taking your daughter to a cosmetic counter at a department store (although going with your friends to buy the make-up is the fun part of that age). 5th grade could be a little young still, but if you compromise with the lip gloss and some powder for now, you might be able to buy yourself some time with the rest of it.

The age she is getting into is so hard, you feel like you are trapped between being a child and being an adult. You have her best interests at heart, and no one can blame you for that. But the harder and more often you say no, the bigger the chance that she'll never listen to you.

[rusalka]

You know what, it isn't a big deal, really let her wear as much as she likes but make sure you take her through the cleansing process of skin care.  cleanse, balance, mousteriser then make-up and cleanse again. It will take so much time that she won't want to do it so much. Make it a rule that she must follow the routine or no make up. She will probably decide not to wear it. Explain to her also that drinking plenty of water brings out her natural beauty and that is what everybody is looking at. The inside shining through. You can get tinted lip balms which is better for her with sunprotection than lipstick or just gloss. You know how hard mascara is to put on so you know it will probably get left in the bottom of the bag anyway. Do confront her on the hiding of the stuff explaining to her that you really don't want her skin to be damaged and that you were hoping she would have waited. But since she can't lessons in facial cleansing is a priority.  Good luck! The thing also is that no matter how much you don't want your daughter to use bad language she will, she picks it up in school. But it is your house rule that it may not be used at home.

[Berko]

i completely understand why you feel that 10/11 years old is too young for make up on a daily basis - i hear for special occasions or a fun girls night at night, but everyday to school is a whole other thing. but while understanding i also see the difficulty in fighting this battle - especially when "all her friends" are wearing it and she can easily sneak it at school - whether her own makeup or a friend's. my suggestion is to explain to her why you don't think she's old enough to wear so much make up everyday. what your concerns are...now i'm not one who believes that a parent has to sit down and talk everything out with their children and explain and reason all their decisions, but in this case i do think it will work in your favor and help the situation out. i would start with telling her how beautiful you think she is and that when a girl starts wearing make up at such a young age - so early - then she can barely walk out of the house without make up - it just changes how she feels about herself. on that note i would also suggest you compromise a little on your own standards on this one - even though i understand where you're coming from - i also know that i personally love make up - have always - since i was little. i didn't start actually wearing make up till i was in my teens and even then it was not much and not every day, but when i was young i definitely love putting on make up on special occassions...it was so fun and girly!! i would say after you explain to her your reasons for not wanting her to be wearing make up maybe you can also allow her some - i don't think a little lip gloss and maybe eyeshadow (light of course) would hurt. she'd feel "grown up" and hopefully after your talk she'd hear your concerns and maybe (i say maybe - after all she's only 11) agree with you. good luck.

[lucylocket2]

thanks everybosy! She just started 5th grade. I think if it's like this  now, what's it going to be like in 6,7,8,9,ect....... i hope I survive. I asked her tonight how many of the girls in her class wear make up. while her daddy was in the room. I think it's all because of one little girl at school.I had a run around with her last year.Now, she want's to be Autumn (my daughter) best friend. BAD influence!! I guess Autumn thinks she's cool. aaaahhhhhhhhhh! Always something!
    
   The wrinkles - yep I have them. they started at about 25. I feel like I look older with make up on! I look homeley if i don't wear something. I am a very pale person. I have heard of a tinted lotion. I think I'm going to try it to see if it works better. I feel like I have aged majorly in the past couple years. My skin just looks different. I never had acne in school. Not till about 21. It's under controll now. thank God!

Sailors wife - I agree ! Kids are growing up to fast. I see Jr. High kids with boob's bigger than mine!! I think it's something in the water.Plus, they like to show it. My Mama always told me to show a little and leave the rest to the imagination. Make them wonder what u got under there.

[oceans3]

i didnt realize this morning when i wrote that your daughter is 10. i dont know why but i thought she was 12 almost 13. that may change my mind BUT only a little. i still think she should be allowed to wear a little make-up. maybe colored gloss, light eyeshadow. no mascara, no foundation (thats my opinion). they have that mary-kate and ashley make-up line now for teens at walmart. maybe try that? i think im with you on this one....but you DO have to pick your battles and decide what to let go and what to "fight". be glad you didnt find a condom or drugs/alcohol, cheat sheets, nasty notes in her backpack. it was make-up, good make-up....PHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lucylocket2]

I know, I'm a little nutty. I'm freakin out ! I don't want my baby to grow up, i guess. i told her tonight she could wear some gloss and a little blush. She asked for pink eyeshaddow. i told her i would think about it. How in the worls can she still play with dolls and want ot wear make up all at the same time?!? I guess cause Mommy's do.Ya know, if shewouldn't get that "look" on her face. Like I'm a total retard. it wouldn't be so bad. Like I'm sooooo far behind on the times. I'm like the youngest mom at her school! She is at that age where she know everything! I didn't hit that till 14 or 15.What did I miss those years i was pregnant. eveidently, a whole %ell of a lot!

[HIS GIFT TO US]

I have freckles & brown eyes so needless to say I get dark circles under my eyes when I don't have a tan, I loved it when my mom bought me some expensive makeup & showed me how to put it on & how it evened out my skin color. I'm not sure about my age but I know in 6th gr lots of girls were wearing makeup. Maybe if you decide to let her you could have a fun night with her & show her exactly how you (not her friends) put it on & how to choose colors for her features, maybe she could even help you w/ some chores around the house or something for the extra $ for her makeup (the right colors) & maybe you could pick her out a cool makeup bag, saying all this I'd also make sure she realizes that everytime she does not agree w/ you does not give her the right to sneak around but you've gave it some thought & want to help her w/ this (I remember girls that didn't know how to put makeup on correctly & how people laughed about it at school) So I guess I'd wanna help her put it on so then you know her makeup looks good including colors before she ever leaves the house.  The reason I say this is b/c some girls can just wear lip gloss & go on but even to this day I gotta have all my war paint on or it's not worth messing w/ so thank God mom showed me how. LOL:) I hope you find a good middle ground on this one. Besides she may get tired of the extra time it takes once the new wears off. I sure know I get tired of putting it on :) LOL GOOD LUCK!!!

[jen2006]

Show her how to apply it tastefully, and permit a LITTLE bit of makeup - powder, lip gloss, etc. If you don't, she will put it on anyway, and end up looking like a clown/trollop.. then she thinks you are great because you let her wear makeup (and no one else's mom does!) and you get some mother/daughter bonding time at the same time! Good Luck!