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sex

i have a question, how many women out there can not orgasm i am one of those women. my bf thinks that alot of women can get off with out anything being used just introcourse. this is my proving a point that most women have it hard to orgasm either you need a vib, man does last long enough or it just doesnt go anywhere. so what all do you ladies think. also what are some good things to spice up sex in the relationship. any adivce or comment would be great. thanks for reading.
ksanden
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167_tn?1374177417
ME. I cannot get there through sex. Oh God...I hope he doesn't find this site!! I don't get it, either. I am turned on by him, he is creative and sexy. I just can't get there. It's frustrating!! I have never been able to. But I've never told my man that. I know, I know...he should know. But I don't want to hurt his feelings, so I just leave it alone. It feels good, don't get me wrong! Boy...why'd ya have to open this can of worms! ;)

PS-right now doesn't count. I just had a baby and I'm breastfeeding. Boy, does that ever curb the sex drive!
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172411_tn?1287089865
yeah i here you i have a 5 month old i am also breast feeding. lol
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Avatar_f_tn
ksanden ME TOO!!!!!!  Would be nice, but we have tried every way possible, and its just not going to happen without other forms.  How I wish it would, but I think after 8 years of trying to make it happen, its just not going to.  :(
Boy if more females were able to orgasim through intercourse alone, guys would be so much happier cause we would be doing it all the time.  lol


( I wonder how you thought up this topic )  hahahahaha
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167_tn?1374177417
SO...do you fake it?
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Avatar_f_tn
No don't fake it cause there is really nothing to fake.  My husband makes sure I am pleased before hand, so all and all we both get what we want.  He knows I can't do that just by intercourse alone.  I wish I could, but it just doesn't happen.  
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Avatar_f_tn
It is common that most women don't orgasm without clitorial stimulation.  I watch a lot of  Talk Sex with Sue...  Here's her website:

http://www.talksexwithsue.com/index2.html

Me and hubby watch her together that way he doesn't have to feel bad if we need to spice things up a little to share the excitement :)
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286776_tn?1268877932
hahah great topic! me and my bf argue about this all the time..i NEED my vibrator and he always says it not my fault you cant have an orgasm.
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Avatar_f_tn
I was wondering when you were coming in on this one Avas Mom.  lol
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286776_tn?1268877932
lol..sorry sundays im a bit behind
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Avatar_f_tn
we had an extra hour of sleep since the time fell back last night.  very rested!!!!!!
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203342_tn?1328740807
I guess I'm the oddball here! :) I don't have any problem having orgasims with my husband and I don't need sex toys or anything. It usually happens with foreplay not intercourse, but can happen both ways.
I know some of you have babies or young children. Could that be part of it, do you think? I know orgasims is really in the mind. If you're tired or stressed, it's hard to "get into it" so to speak.

Of course, I'm entering into my peak time, I guess! Isn't it funny that men peak in their 20's and women in their 40's! I haven't quite figured that one out yet!
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286776_tn?1268877932
No i never could have one before i had my baby either...and hes the only guy ive been with..but i doubt its because of him...
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172411_tn?1287089865
laura i wonder where all of this stuff came from. think real hard lol jk
im tired my son kept me up all night.
jenshim dont fake it i would not tell you cant get off but i would let him no what you can do to help you get there.
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172411_tn?1287089865
avas mom i need my vib too. w/o it i am lost lol
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286776_tn?1268877932
I know i havent had sex without it in over a year
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Avatar_f_tn
I dont have to have a toy but I can't do it with just intercourse.  April2 you are correct that it is a mind issue too.  
ksanden for the life of me I wouldn't have a clue how this entered your mind............ I am completely dumb founded.......  hahahaha

You know though that they have discovered that toys can actually make your nerves down there not respond to lighter movements.  for everyones 411.
Try not using any of your toys for a month and see.  I know I know that was harsh but just try it.
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167_tn?1374177417
You are right. They say it deadens the nerves a bit and your brain also gets used to that kind of stimulation...then you need it to get off.
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173820_tn?1224939758
I have no problem reaching "it" with just intercorse..but too bad for him I have no interest in it for like the last fourteen months..thru out my whole pregnancy and now with him home...it like freaks me out..thats my problem..i want to be close with him..just i DONT want to be touched...we have NO alone time..and at night the nurse is here with the baby..so I cant...so thats my problem...that and just had birth control baby # 2 lol
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93532_tn?1349374050
I believe it is actually more common to need clitoral stimulation than not. I woudl love to believe it is all in my head, but my body says otherwise ; ) I have agreat sex life with my husband and he is very attentive, but there are two very different types of orgasm and the best ones are clitoral. Funny, for the first 10 years of my sex life I HATED that, led myself to believe I was having big O's when in fact I wasn't. Now that I have opened up and relaxed a bit, sex is better than ever. Even after 3 big babies delivered vaginally.
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Avatar_f_tn
I have a higher drive than my hubby, it has always been that way.  Even though I am 5 yrs younger than him, I don't think it is because of age.  He says it's because in his prior marriage he had to beg for sex, and with me he doesn't so he feels more secure and doesn't need sex to feel close to me.  

For me, when I am ready to have quality time and he isn't I sometimes feel rejected.  Now since we decided to conceive, I made him a schedule.  This way he can prepare himself to come home in the mood.  I told him he better not act like that man in those commercials... "Got to make the donuts"  LOL!  (This is much funnier if you have seen the commercial)

His drive is different than that of what you normally hear about men... if he isn't in the mood...it's not happening no matter what I try to do to change his "mind"
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172411_tn?1287089865
it seems like for me to have sex its like work because im so stressed out with all the kids and what not and hes tired from work. when he wants to do it the kids are up or my son doesnt want to sleep and when i want to all the kids are sleeping adn hes on that dang computer playing his games so nothing there. im getting used to not haveing sex. if im lucky its once a wk. i swear the toltally number of times is like 3 to 4 times a month. anyone else having this problem with their bf or hubbys not wanting sex. i always thought a mans mind was full of sexual thoughts thats how i have always seen it but now.. i see totally different. i just wish it wasnt so hard to have sex to get off and be satisfied my bf trys so hard at times its crazy what he does. and in the end the only thing i can turn to is while haveing sex using a vib to help.. i would love to stop using it but if i did i would lay there like asking are we done yet.. i swear i do not get anywhere..
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286776_tn?1268877932
your not alone...we maybe have sex 2 times a wk IF its a good week...our prob is mostly hes been working 5am-4pm and then were always out running errands..so hes too tired. I too thought all guys ever wanted was sex and thats all they thought about. Proves us wrong huh?
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Avatar_f_tn
Okay ladies I will put myself out there for this.  Ksanden and I were talking about sex and stuff last night.  lol  Anyways I have been married for almost 7 years and my husband and I have sex often, but it is getting predictible.  Need more spice in it.  Don't tell me positions cause we have done them all that is humanly possible.  lol.  Not a porn person.  lol
Which this is actually a good topic because it happens to pretty much every marriage at some point and time.  
Which its not bad, but I personally like the sex that is.....................wild I guess might be a word to use.  Not porn sex, but not boring sex either.
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172411_tn?1287089865
way 2 go laura i was trying to keep it as for me lol 2 help ya out and there u go throwing yourself out. lol well i tried its in ur hands now :)
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Avatar_f_tn
Oh I don't care.  Its part of life.  lol.  Heck I must be doing something right.  Still with him after 8.5 years or so together and two kids later.  lol.  
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300987_tn?1219987265
What about role playing?
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Avatar_f_tn
you know I have wondered about that, but I thought it might make me laugh.  lol
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172411_tn?1287089865
makes me laugh i cant do that...lol
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Avatar_f_tn
r u laughing at me ksanden or are you stating you can't do that cause you will laugh too.  
lol
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172411_tn?1287089865
ill laugh to i cant help myself lol no not at you at me....:)
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Avatar_f_tn
ksanden are you addicted to myspace.......  lol
we need to start an addicted to myspace post.  
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Avatar_f_tn
I had some neighbors about 8 or so years ago that I was pretty good friends with at the time.  We lived across the hall from each other in an apartment complex. Anyway, I was up one night just sitting on the couch watching late night T.V., it was the middle of the night.  I hear a faint boom, boom, boom.  Like a knocking, it was close but I knew it wasn't my door.  I looked out the peep hole and I see my neighbor’s boyfriend in his boxers knocking on the door.  (just so you know, this was in fall so the nights were pretty cold)  I seen him kind of bouncing around to keep himself warm, anyway she opens the door and he goes inside.  I was pretty shocked to see him out there in his underwear...but just shrugged it off and went back to my program.  They were a very fun and hilarious couple anyway, so off the wall things were not always surprising.  As soon as I sat back down, same thing...boom-boom-boom, knocking on the door again.  I looked out the peep hole again and there he was in his boxers knocking on the door again.  Now, I was really curious as to what in the world was going on but I didn't want to embarrass him so I just tried to ignore.  This happened one more time before it stopped.  

The next day or so she called me to come over to play cards, and while I was there I asked her about that night...  She told me that they were trying to role play, but he kept cracking up so she would send him back out the door to start over.  LOL!  By the way he was playing the role of the handy landlord...
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Avatar_f_tn
lol see I'm not the only one who would start laughing.
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172411_tn?1287089865
no i am not additicted to myspace. i log on and then leave at times forgetting im still on it lol.... or busy doing stuff on my page. i never ever see u on there. u must have it not visible to see ur on.. lol

mandy thats great.. i think it would be fun to do but i just cant pretend to act i just think its to funny lol i would crack up after 2 words i think... oh mr doctor pass me that tool lol.. yah na i couldnt..
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172411_tn?1287089865
laura you want to start a whole bunce of pple on myspace that would be interseting. i think you can see the people ur talking to and what not. i think that would be cool... i dunno...
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Avatar_f_tn
I have thought of trying it once or twice with my hubby, but he can be so serious at times...there is no way I would make it through... you would have to know my husbands personality.  If he tried to play the naughty cop/doctor or something I would fall off the bed laughing...  
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167_tn?1374177417
My man has asked me to dance for him, put on lingerie or be like a naughty nurse or something. I know he's serious...but I don't think I could do that without feeling totally silly, uncomfortable and awkward. I really wish I could do that. I know it would turn him on totally. It's just so not us, that it would be really weird.

Normally, I go to bed in an old white t shirt. A few weeks ago he ordered me to put on the ONE piece of lingerie I have. It's a see through black and red spaghetti strap top with some sexy panties to go with. I felt so silly...undressing and putting that on. I had just nursed our son, who was asleep in the bassinet in our room and my body is not what it was before I gave birth to him. It just felt so awkward, I put it on, but was so uncomfortable, and giggling, and it just didn't seem to set the mood anyhow. I don't want it to be like that. I want to please my man...just doesn't seem like the right time. The role playing does sound interesting though. We would just have to get past that awkward, "this isn't us" feeling!
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172411_tn?1287089865
i would love to dress up sexy and feel alright about it but i feel everytime i try i put it on look at myself and feel discusted i hate my body its really not that bad but i just dont like it i have my tummy that still sticks out a little bit and i just dont like it after 2 kids it does a toll on a body. after putting it on i take it right back off so its like one one minute off the next. i used to feel sexy when i was younger but had my kids and no longer feel it. i throw my hair in a ponytail and dont wear makeup and stay in pjs or comfy stuff because i never do anything so i never feel pretty and when i do get ready its so much work and still i dont get anything back on me being pretty so i just stop trying..
anyone else feel unpretty after having thier kids.
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Avatar_f_tn
*raises hand*    Same here... I work from home now so I never doll up anymore... I'm sure hubby misses that part.   Working from home = gained weight... hate it.  I don't get out as much and I don't make time to exercise.  I really have to do something about that.
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172411_tn?1287089865
i would love to work i stay at hom ewith the kids. it wasnt something planned i wanted to go back to work but i decided to breast feed me son when he was born for five month i have tryied to get him to take a bottle but he flips out and wont do it so here i am stuck at the house with the kids. i enjoy it though i get to see them grow but its so hard because i also want my space but never really get that.. my son is a mommas boy..
ksanden
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Avatar_f_tn
I have to use a vibrator to make it. My husband is sexy to me and he does sexy things and is creative, but a lot of times he is a selfish lover and just wants to hop right in without any foreplay. Our biggest problem is that he doesn't last very long. I won't say how long because if he found the site he would be embarrassed, lol, but it is quick. Basically all the vibrator does is help me make it as fast as he does, which I hate. Even though it feels great, sometimes I would like to just enjoy it for a little while, ya know? We have been together about 4 years now and only just this year I got the idea of using a vibrator, so for almost 4 years I never had an orgasm. Imagine how frustrating that is, and we had a lot of fights about it to. Not that its his fault, but when your that frustrated it hardly matters. Anyways, to the initial question, it is very normal for women to have a hard time reaching orgasm through just intercourse, but I am sure that is clear by all the posts lol.
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Avatar_f_tn
I know exactly how you feel! I absolutely hate my body and I think it is the most hideous thing I have ever seen. I've been totally convinced that my husband is a liar cuz he tells me that I'm pretty, but I know its not true. I have only had one child, but I have gained so much weight. Before he was born I was 130 lbs and 5'6, so not model skinny but no where near fat. After he ws born I was 144lbs, so not bad and certainly losable. 2 years later I am nearly 200 lbs. I try to exercise and eat right but I have a lot of problems going against that. I can't go for walks or anything because my stomach starts to hurt so much I have to rush to the bathroom. I try to eat right but I get this huge craving for chocolate so bad its all I can think of, I nearly go crazy. I need to see a doctor but I haven't any insurance yet. Hopefully things will get better in a couple of months because we should have insurance then. Anyways, I also try on sexy lingerie and I just hate myself when I look in the mirror. Sometimes I manage to still wear it for my husband by usually I have lost any arousal myself, so its pointless. I hang out in jammies all day and never do my hair or make up whenever we go anywhere. I do think I look prettier with makeup on and my hair done, but its not enough to be worth the work. Anyways, theres my second long post lol
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