hey im 18 and ive been trying to have a baby for about a year now
and i havent got any good news. ive been folloming my cycle and
my fertile days. its starting to get very upseting. is there any one who
had the same problem then after a while finally concived. if so can you tell
me what you did and how long it took. thank you.
You started trying to concieve at 17 and still at 18. Have you graduated high school yet? That seems really young to be trying to have a child. Maybe you should wait awhile and try again in a couple of yrs.
Have you went and saw a doctor? I really think you should think about waiting it is so hard raising a child. I had my first son at at 23 and was in college and just married. It was hard, very hard, we struggled to make ends meet. I put my child in daycare and he stayed sick, I was always having to call in or late. It is totally different when a baby is born. I never got any sleep, I would be up till 12 or later studying and as soon as my head hit the pillow my baby wanted to eat or be changed. Then up at 7 for work. I love my kids but if I had to do it all over again I would have finished school first then had my babies. I did graduate but it was hard work and now I am going back to school. Just something to seriously think about. I once thought the same as you that it was a great time and I am now a single mother of 2 boys, working full time, and going to school. Not saying it is going to happen to you but make sure you have it all together. The first place you would need to go is the doctor and have your fiance go to and get checked.
I would encourage you to immerse yourself in your studies and totally enjoy the college experience and living with your fiance. This is a time in your life you will not get back. Have your fun before you start a family. It enriches your life and brings so much experience to the table as you parent your children. And you will not have regrets about what you missed out on by starting so early.
why are you in such a hurry to grow up? and right now is NOT the time to have a child. you may be in college but afterward do you really think it will be so easy to get a job? my dads fiance is the head nurse (i don't know what it's called) at her hospital and she just laid off 35 nurses. do you know who the first to go were? the recently graduated and new nurses. with how this economy is it is not the smartest thing to have a child unless your job is SECURE. dh and i have 13 month old twins. would we have had them if he didn't have a secure job he won't be fired from (he's a USM) absolutely not. why? we wouldn't have been able to afford to live or be able to care for them. there is so much that goes into having a baby besides dressing them up.
wait until you and your fiance are married, you graduate from college and at least have a job in that field.
thx for your opinons but i really just asked for help on a very important topic that others might need help with. i really dont need all the extra i think im in controll of my life so i would like to make my own choices. if you dont have an answer for my question please let well enough alone and let other people who can help me help me. Thx.
God works in mysterious ways does he not? You live with you fiance, and want to be an rn? If you get pregnant at the ripe old age of 18 you will probably be living on welfare, eating on foodstamps and dreaming of how it could have been to be an rn. Sorry, Mom should of told you, but since she did not, I just did. From someones mom!
In answer to yur question? You are a teenager, in a teenagers body. It takes time for the body to develop! Your boobs are still growing so why would you consider that the insides are ready for a child. It could be your periods have not regulated themselves, or even hormones are not in full force yet. It could be so many things like bad sperm or low sperm or yes, even infertility issues that sometimes can come from being sexually active before your body is ready or as a result of an std, or, on and on and on. You might want to c a doctor? But watch out! You will get preached at there too! Keep in mind medicaid is totally going to crash in the next decade so I would go to school to be a rn first and secure my future financially. Another oneof those things that makes you go hmmm?
You live in the states is this correct? Do you know the hospital bill cost just for having a problem free birth? I doubt someone with no job, 18 years old who is trying to start college, can afford that.
Why is it that you have to go through a huge process to see if you are financially stable and can care for a pet but no one screens people to weed out the stupid ones who want to have kids at 18 years old. See if they would even let you adopt a cat or something before you try to care for a human life.
I dont do it for the look. I hate hair. I hate how it pulls if it gets in your panty crease and the whole bit! I hate hair so much. Im surprized I havent shaved my head yet. lol (though I was going to for cancer...still pondering that.)
I was always told when growing up that a sign of maturity was hair! Now, I know I am old and all, but It was always one of those things that separated us from being children. I was sooo proud. Then when I had my kids, they shaved it and I was horrified! And itchy, and so ashamed of it! I have never gotten over it either! I have a sister who just turned 71 and informs me she shaves also! Well, I thought when ya got old it thinned out anyways? Guess not! But I am still trying to figure that one out in my head! Makes no sense to me! Sorry! I am not the norm I guess! lol So do you do it, pay to do it, or tmi, sorry.
I got a wax from a spa certificate from my wedding. I loved it. It hurt only for a second, then it felt weird. It was the best getting it done professionally. I did it a couple times myself, its hard, to do and get all the hair. If it was cheaper I would get it professionally done every time. For now, Im back and fourth between shaving and waxing myself. I want to get the good wax with the cloth strips. I think that would make it easier and more painless when I do it myself.
Well this question turned onto a different subject real fast. I do want to add mine I just hate the hair in the bath tub. After my ex-husband would get out ewww really gross and of course men can't rinse a tub.
oh i hate it when dh doesn't rinse the tub!! so gross!
as far as waxing/shaving the nether regions...i'm like lucey...i just hate the hair. i hate it on my legs too. i've never had that area waxed. i'm just not sure i could handle the pain of having that specific hair ripped out.
You guys are hilarious! I thought I was the only ADD person here, lol! You probably sent the op running for the hills by now! LOL
To the op, please consider waiting until you're a bit older and more secure financially and otherwise. You will be glad you did! Raising a child is very, very expensive. Enjoy your youth for now. Enjoy some alone time with your honey. After babies come, things change and it's harder to get that time alone! Just remember that!
I think it's really rude and judgmental for so many to be saying such bad things about the girl who posted this. If she had left her age off, I'm sure she would have been flooded with good advice and well wishes, but instead she got a bunch of women trying to be her mother.
If everyone started trying to get pregnant when they were young and healthy @ 18 (which by the way, is considered a PRIME age to achieve and maintain a pregnancy) then maybe there would be less need for infertility clinics!
Not everyone is created equal and in many cultures it is considered to norm to not only have several children by the time they are 30, but these women are also MATURE enough to carry this responsibility.. so unlike the society of today that think "I don't need to be married until I am 30+ because I am going to enjoy myself!" and then has to have expensive IF treatments when they finally decide to have children.
In answer to your question, there are many women who have tried to conceive for over a year and then were finally able to become pregnant. Sometimes it was just a matter of improper timing, sometimes because of stress in their lives, and sometimes because of health or hormonal issues.
If you and your fiance have been trying a year without getting pregnant, then you should be able to see your OB-GYN and have some blood work and other tests done to see if there is anything physically that could be preventing you from becoming pregnant.
I wish you the best, and ignore the nay-sayers... awesome how everyone tells you "It's your life, do what you want!" but only if your life matches up with the one they think you should have, hm? ...
I don't think that is it at all. I think it is because we have been there done that and it *****. We are trying to help her wether it seems that way or not. I was 22 when I got married and pregnant. We bought a house, I started school I thought life was perfect and then my hubbie decided we couldn't afford the bills. Our lights got turned off, he went to drugs and I was left with a 600 dollar mortgage and a 3 mnth old and 100 dollar a week daycare, I had a decent job back then but I only made 8 dollars an hour. You do the math. I was broke. My uncle paid my daycare because my so called hubbie that said we would have it all was nowhere to be found. I had to sale my new house, brand new just built and move to a 30 yr old trailor for 350 a month. I am now a single mother I did manage to make it thru school and finish what I started which was nursing. I graduated 2 yrs ago and still haven't got a job doing what I went to school for. They all want experience one to two yrs. experience. It is hard very hard to raise a child if you only make minimum wage. If you have family to bail you out everytime your in trouble then have a baby. No not all stories are like this but in less you come from alot of money and you have some of it. Then plan on struggling. Most people that believe in big families like the above poster said have a plan and most of them the women don't plan on going to school, the men work and the men and their family already have their futures in line.
To the other posters: This has turned into the funniest comments. Totally agree I hate hair, I shave almost everyday and yeah I think your right men just don't care or they can't see the hair all over the tub and floor or sumthin. I know I couldn't handle the waxing, I have never even had my eyebrows waxed. You know the movies of the men screaming bloody murder that would be me.
It sounds like you have never had a child or raised one, otherwise you would realize how stupid your remarks are. The mom advice might be the only thing keeping this girl from ruining her and her childrens life. My mother was 13 when she got married and had 10 children and was married 55 years before she died. Question? How many 13 year olds do you know today that could or even would do this? Ya wanna give some more judgement my way, lets hear it lady. So dont go throwing around words like judgemental unless ya apply it to yourself first. HMMP!
I'm sorry but 18 is not the prime age to get pregnant. Although your body is saying yes, being financially stable and emotional ready is another. A woman's body is ready to get pregnant at 13-14, does that mean that she should get pregnant at that age? All people are saying is enjoy your life, get prepared because a baby changes everything. It's not all sunshine and roses. It's hard work and when you aren't ready for the stress a baby can add to a relationship than you are in for a real surprise. Should she not focus on getting married and enjoying her alone time with her husband for awhile. Go on vacations, finish her nursing schooling. Do you really think that she will be able to finish school while taking care of a newborn? All the studying it takes to finish and on-hands training it takes. You can't exactly do that when you have to wake up every 2 hours to feed a baby. What about the costs of daycare? Who will watch her baby while she finishes school. Do you know how expensive daycare is? It's not about mothering her it's about giving life experience and knowledge. But heck, I guess that's not what this site is about. We aren't doctors so the only advice we can give is personal experience right?
Im not saying you are too young. Im changing my mind a bit here. Im only 20. Just gont married a month and a bit ago. I want kids really bad. My incentive to have kids now is that my husband is going over seas and we both wanted to have kids before he left so I wouldnt be so lonely. We realized thats not a good reason to have a kid. We arent ready and Im especially not ready to have a youngen while he is gone. I thought it was a good idea at the time but unforeseen circumstances caused me to have to wait. Im glad I did. Living on my own and having payments is alot of work. Even knowing we have been on our own in this house for 7 months, things still arent really stable. We are having more payments, trying to get by on one salary and dont know how what the next year will bring. I think after a year on our own, we will get a good idea of who the next year will go. Get your routine and life going first!
And 18 is not a baby making prime age. Sorry, no!
Teko your so funny, "done went and got her self pregnant!" Bahaha
I have to say, hubby doesnt clean out the bath, but he has started to wipe off the part under the seat of the toilet when he dribbles on it! haha
And for all of you who hate hair down there, seriously, brazillians only sound horrible. ITs really not bad. I was talking to the lady the whole time she was doing it. It was fast (about 20 minutes start to finish) and its so smooth for about a week. I really want another one. And dont be nervous, they have seen all sorts of stuff.
Nice choice of words Teko, "hairy mood" Bahaha.
Congrats on the no nicotine! Thats awesome. I wish my mom would quite smoking.
Heck I was 30 and still struggle financially. But it isn't even the finances it's the entire lifestyle change. I can't just run down to the store and pick something up within a matter of 5 minutes. I have to get my son dressed, shoes on, then the entire process of him behaving while we are at the store. That's only a simple thing. How about a shower? When I want to take a shower he's got to be in the bathroom with me, and that's only because he's 2 now. When he was younger I had to wait until someone was home to take one. I haven't gone to the movies in 2 years. If my fiance and I want a date night which is usually once a month, I have to hope that my mom doesn't mind listening in on him. Getting privacy is another thing, I haven't taken a poop by myself in the longest, having sex isn't spontaneous any longer because we have to wait for nap time or night time. I can't meet up with friends for a cup of coffee. A night over at our family's house requires huge bags of clothes for us, the baby, diapers, the toys, the sippy cups, blankie, bobo. Any where you go you have to take a bag for all these items actually. Vacations without the child are non-existant. If you do fly anywhere and your child is over 2, you have to pay for an extra seat. If you do get a night of partying, you will pay for it the next day because you have to get up when your child gets up. No more sleeping in. When you want to nap, you have to wait until your child wants to nap. Everything changes. Especially if you do everything and you feel like the baby's father does nothing, the constant arguments because of that issue. Believe me, a lot of people wind up with that issue. There is a laundry list of how much your life will change. That's why I say, enjoy your alone time now. Being a mother is wonderful and my son is everything to me, but there are moments where I miss just being about myself.
you know....i don't remember the last time i actually slept. i take naps. i get MAYBE 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night. since i have 2 toddlers (they're 13 months old) the only time i have to do my work (i'm a writer), clean or just SEE my hubby is after they're in bed. by time i finish redding up, getting dishwasher started and write a few pages it's 2 am. i do get a few moments (like right now) when they nap...which is becoming EXTREMELY rare. dh and i have not been out of the house minus kids since august for his parents luau before that was july for my birthday, before that our anniversary which was in april, before that last october. so 4 times in 13 months we've been out. and that is only 3 MAYBE 4 hours. i'm up every morning between 6-8 am (depending when they want to get up)
sex....the ONLY time we can have sex is between 8 pm (kiddos bedtime) and time we eventually pass out which the past few weeks sex has been non existant (he's busy with his business and editing, doing conferences for an online website he works for and i've been going crazy with my writing trying to get it finished to be published.) so even though we are BOTH at home....we have NO time at all. and making a simple trip to the grocery store....well that doesn't exist. there is NO SUCH THING as a simple trip. you have to pack diaper bag (which includes at least 2 outfits a piece, sippy cups, extra sippy cups, snack, mr. bear and pup, blanky's, diapers, wipes....to name just a few, our diaper bad is well stuffed with stuff we NEED), day trips to visit grandparents are exhausting. and the finances....i have not had my hair done in almost a year, neither dh nor i have bought ourselves anything since christmas. all of our money goes to the kids, groceries, bills, gas and all the other stuff adults have to take care of.
wow being a mom is exhausting. i have a headache thinking about all that now. THANK GOD FOR ROUTINES!!!! (and kids sleeping : o) )
Ahhh! Thank God for anti anxiety meds! Whew! If you think I am bad, you really must be glad you dont live with me! My nickname is taz!
I got married at 16, had my first at 17 and I remember being sick, I mean over the porcelin god sick for 7 months! Then after I had him, I remember walking the floor with him at night when he had collik and it seems like that went on forever! By the time he was walking I was expecting the next one and so it went. My mother had her own children and did not babsit at all, so I never ate out, had a night out with the girls or even celebrated an anniversary without the kids. Till the last one moved out a couple of years ago. Do I babysit for them? Not if I do not have too! lol I am no good granny material! I had enuff of dirty diapers, tantrums, tummy ac hes to last me a lifetime. Now it is my childrens turn. I no, I no, it all sounds so romantic dont it? None of em went to college and I just got my first couch that did not come secondhand 5 years ago and I eat out alot now, cause I can! Raising kids may sound romantic, but it is sacrificing and old fashioned patience and hard work. You may be having a baby, but you are literally moulding another human being. Not something to take lightly my dear. You do not even have a pot to pss in, what can you provide for another ? Think about it, long and hard! And you get stretch marks, and your boobs sag and on and on and on.
Oh my gosh I remember the colic nights, I didn't think I would make it both of mine had it. Mine are now alsmost 3 and 5 and I still have to get up with the youngest everynite atleast twice. I get about 3 hrs of sleep. 5 if I am lucky and it has been that way for the past 5 yrs. now. You know how bad your body and mind go on that many hrs every day for 5 yrs. Oh yeah and has anyone else done this went to the store and then came home and around when the kids are off to bed you realize you have no milk, or no diapers. I have had to get to kids up and clothed I don't know how many times to go out in the middle of the nite to get the items I needed. I think that is the thing I miss the most about being married is having a hubby to go out in the middle of the nite for you.
Even after divorce I still fite every with my ex over parenting. It is never ending. We are total opposites when it comes to raising a child. He is just stupid. He thinks a child should go to bed when they want and then up whenever, eat whatever, heck why brush teeth we don't need em right.
I mean seriously why do teenagers want kids at this age. Its easy to play house totally different when its the real deal.
Wouldn't you just love to give them ours for a day or two. My 2 lovely boys, that apparently have decided that they will not get along at home at all. Every 5 minutes I hear screaming, so I give it minute, you know maybe just maybe they will give it rest, nope my youngest is a pincher and biter he grew out of it and now he is back at it full force. You tell him no he bites, you tell him time out he bites, you carry him up the steps to room for timeout he pinches. Then once in room and I am down stairs he comes down after a few minutes apoligizes and he is so sorry and not even 5 min. later same routine. What in the world do I have to do to get him to quit he doesn't do this anywhere else but my house and only to his brother. I know for sure that after a day with my two no one would want kids atleast not two boys anyway.
I just want one day without having to scream at my son for something. The stubborness drives me nuts. I miss the days when I could just watch tv and relax. Not anymore. I feel sometimes like I'm losing my mind...lol.
my guys are BEYOND stubborn. if we tell them no, they laugh and LOOK AT US while they do what we told them not to do. i feel like i'm going insane most days. and this morning when i was putting brett down for his nap....he somehow got a rash. NO IDEA where it came from or what it is. luckily he isn't scratching or running a fever but it's so baffling.
Uggh. I was babysitting this 3 year old who refused to let me change his diaper, and wouldnt stay on the potty. His diaper leaked all over my couch (I mean every inch of the seat part was soaked) then I put him on the toilet so I could clean up the mess. He got off and peed and pooped on the floor. I SCREAMED! When I asked him why he did it, he said he wanted to. I was so mad. I made him clean it up. He used to much toilet paper so it woudl clog the toilet so told him not to flush it repeatedly, even as he was reaching for the flusher, and he still flushed it. My bathroom flooded...twice! I sent him down stairs so I could clean the flood and while I did, he dumped his sisters bottle of milk all over her and my dog. Aaaand I had no towels left from cleaning up the flood so I couldnt bath either of them. That was my last day babysitting. (there was 2 kids full time and one before and after school for 10 hours a day and I got paid $35 a DAY! Not freakin worth it)
I get paid that an hour for cleaning someone elses house! And it dont talk back! lol
I think what everyone is trying to say, that as rewarding and enjoyable as it can be at times to have children, they are not toys. They are not dolls. We owe them more than a passing thought when trying to conveive. And the older they get, the worse it can be too, just different issues is all.
I was seriously in tears. I sat there, put a little folded up blanket on the floor and made him sit there till he was picked up. I also tried to get him to come to the neighbors to borrow a plunger and he screamed and screamed. Even when he was sitting on the floor, he would be kicking his sister and being a pain. Not only was he not disciplined at home, but he wasn't played with and got no attention. At 3 years old, he couldnt tell me how old he was, he didnt know any colors, no numbers, he didnt know what grass was or leaves, he would even say "its going to rain" everyday even when there wasnt a cloud in sight!
Id laugh if it wasnt me but I was ready to leave him outside for the whole day. People tend to look down on people disciplining kids that arent theirs.
OMG this post has turned so funny. I'm so sad I just found it. Pregnancy was my answer to shaving. All the stretch marks made most of my PH fall out. LOL My husband and I waited 5 years after we were married to have kids and it was a good choice for us. I was 25 when my daughter was born and 28 with my son. We had time to get to know each other and get to know ourselves. I know it's kind of old fashioned but wait until your ready to make a commitment to each other before you commit to having a child. You're children will not be children forever and when they are grown your partner will still be your partner (Unless you are looking at this relationship as temporary which opens a whole new can of worms). Get to know him inside and out. You are not wasting time not having children until your older,Your making the time when you have them more rich. You say your ready for kids now. What is going to change about that in the next few years except you'll be more ready. You have time.
Yeah, I'd never seen a really bad parent up until that point and it was really shocking. If I had used that language my mom would have kicked my but into next week. I still haven't gotten over that the child was 5. What sort of life did this kid have to have all this hate and anger at "5"!
Ok I think you should wait try getting married first and and finishing your education start saving and mature some more and maybe u can consider kids in the future you still have time your young. Make an adult decision be wise not another statistic.
ok i think its really funny how noone truly and your question they just all kinda lectured you lmao but i guess they are older and know what they are talking about. as a baby does change a lot of things but waterer in any case you feel that you are ready then go ahead. and keep trying. a lot of women do not get there first positive result until sometimes 8yrs after trying and then you have the women who are lucky and get it on their first try. so i would say just have fun and enjoy having sex with your fiance try not to think to much about it and if gods ready to bless you then he will.
I agree with everyone else, it's just not meant to be right now. I too wanted to get preggo when I was younger, but it never happened until I was 23 which happened to be a time where we were more stable. Your body knows what it can handle and ATM it's telling you with the stresses of school etc a baby isn't possible. On the other hand a doctor won't do fertility tests until you have been trying unsuccessfully for 2 years.
OMG you guys let her be. If she wants to get pregnant let her, it's her life, she wont be the first or last. I'm just asking you to be 100% sure :) ..anyhow, regarding your question there ovulation sticks, calendars that can help. Avoid smoking from both parties. Also do research, there are certain foods that might help. Just keep trying, it requires patience remember that every woman is different. If nothing works I would suggest to go get tested. Good luck :) hope I helped
Hello, i just turned 19 last saturday. I have been trying since april of 2012 (18 years old at the time) with ny fiance. I too have not been sucessful and it get more and more upsetting every month that i am not pregnant. I know the feeling <3 i have been charting mu cervical position, firmness and fluid (fluid is the most inportant one). You will want to check your cervix and it should be high, soft and open as well as have egg white cervical fluid when you are ovulation. I have also began trying ovulation predictor tests. I bought a box of 7 from CVS pharmacy and its was only $20. You check the box based on how long your normal cycle is and begin testing when it says. When it comes up positive, you should ovulate 24-48 hours after that. You should aldo avoid drinking/smoking and eat healthy and work out. All of this helps as you as the healthier you are the more chance you have iof getting preg. I on the other hand have problems with ovarian cysts making me not ovulate regularly. If it comtinues i would advise you to make an appoint with your gyno/obgyn. Maybe they can test you to see if anything is wrong.
Sorry to burst anyone's bubble but no don't do it! Ur not even married u don't even know if ur relationship will work and the chances of welfare and trying to get child support out of your no longer fiance are eminent. I can't stand that my tax dollars go to young girls like this when they can't even afford to have a baby! You expect everything to work out and fall into place when in reality hard working people are paying for you and your kids! Please reconsider the baby thing for a while and don't contribute to the decay of this nation thanks!
Im 18 and i think that if its the right time and you know it is... my aunty symbia is great example of this... she had her first child at our age and she has 5 kids now... nurse and has all that she could want 5 beautiful children a husband who loves and helps her with everything
And she is a nurse... she was able to get her nd while pregnant and going back and forth to school and home.
But she could have had her nd ling time ago but ahe decided to takr some time off for herself to figure out what she actually wanted to do
I was 18 when i fell pregnant with fiance had him at 19, we was trying for just over a year, he was working n paying rent n me at college, my son is now 15 months im 20 now, and still with my fiance (3 n half years now) and am 15 weeks pregnant with second, if u feel ur ready n u r fully supported just try not to even think about making a baby, as soon as me n partner forgot n gave up i fell pregnant, everyones dif, took me aprox 15 months fall preg with my son, n a year later i fell preg.againbbut miscarried, n 4 months later fell preg again n now 15b weeks, hope this helps hun xx
I'm sorry but I have been reading some of your comments and I don't agree. I am 20 years old with a son that I love dearly. I made it threw high school and half of college with him. I am not on welfare and we live a rather damn good life. His father and I are still together. All I have to say is just because we are young does not make us any less of a parent. Do I wish I waited? Yes but I don't regret anything. So why don't you take your negative comments somewhere else.
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