you started it ppl.....please help

so i just replied to the how many times do you have sex a week ?    like i said im lucky to get it once every 2 weeks my dh works ...but doesnt have to go in till 2 pm and i usually stay up till he gets home........at 1 am .....so whats the deal ...i hate begging ......and believe me ive tried just about everything......help....what can i do to make him want me more?

[ksanden]

good luck trying to find a response on this lol. i have tried so many things and striped played with myself everything and get no where. seems like my bf would rather play games on the net then play dirty games with me.. so when you figure something out PLEASE let me no. we have sex about 2time a week sometimes to nothing a wk just depends on if we are fighting or just to tired with the kids..
ksanden

[Me2mommy2b]

Have you asked HIM that?  I think that having a heart to heart conversation is in order right about now.  We can't tell you why he doesn't have the desire to do it more often.  Is he on any meds?

[jenjen07]

no no.....no meds.....besides bloodpressure medicine.......

any good ideas on a good way to spice things up....maybe thats it?

[tmv]

Just ask him. Most men will be more than happy giving tips.  Also, he may just be tired from work.  

[mayflowers]

Not sure if this will help or not, but do you make sure that you're showered, smell nice, shave your legs, wear make-up, wear cute clothes?  I know this is going to sound superficial but men are such visual creatures it matter so much how their woman looks.  Let me say that you look really pretty and adorable in your picture so I'm by no means trying to say you're unattractive.  Just be feminine.  I always make sure my grooming is spotless and that I smell good and so far, it's been working ;D  If that isn't the issue, then really, you need to put it on the line and just ask him what is going on.  Tell him that you want to  be close to HIM and feel loved.  Guys love to know they are needed.  Appeal to his ego.   Hope it all works out and you come back and post about the great sex you've been having!!!  

[laura1977]

I gotta side with tmv that it could be he is tired from work........
another thing you might look into.............. is he taking care of things himself?  There has been studies done that show some men will handle things in the shower, and this causes their drive to go down.

[jenjen07]

thanks for the advice ....we'll see if it works

thanks guys

[BabyHardiman]

If I want it I just reach over and take some!!  

Mayflowers said it perfectly.  No man can resist a sexy woman with love in her eyes and a clean well groomed body.  =)  Do you initiate it at all?  I love being intimate with my man and it doesn't matter what time of day or night or how our day went, we make sure that our sexual needs are met.  We could have bickered back and forth at each other all day long and still make love at night.  

I have to admit that it wasn't always like this with other men that I have been with.  Take my ex-husband for example!!  GAG GAG GAG GAG!!!!  It was like War of The Roses before we separated.. I couldn't stand anything about him.  I guess in the beginning we were sexually attracted to one another and we lost it somewhere down the road.. it could have been his obsession with PORN on the internet that ruined our relationship.. but you will NEVER hear that A-Hole admit that.  My BF would rather have the real thing laying next to him at night and a warm body to be passionate with.  

I hope you start getting some real soon!  Reach over in the middle of the night and caress him.. I bet that will work!

[Avas Mom]

Ha im with you ksanden, i feel like i cant get my guy to want it either, which is strange, but you know with kids its hard to think of ways to to do things let alone have the time for it. ANd when we do its boring, its like hey wanna do it? lol...your not alone

[jo929]

i was young once i had 3 children i wondered the same thing found out he was cheating with someone else and we had been married some time this may not be true in your case if you guys are not married maybe he feels like he can do as he pleases        hope you get the ans wer to your problem
   good luck                jo

[jenjen07]

oh yes im usually the one who initiates it......but thats one of our problems he wants to initiate it tooo.....but im usually the one who wants it first.......we're young  so whats the deal....maybe i should make a schedule or something.......i like to be more spontanious though........so what?!!!!!


does wearing sexy outfits work?.....how about role play?

[BabyHardiman]

I have never role played but we have taken pictures and that sparks up the heat.  Honestly, my man could care less about the outfits..he'd rather I come to bed naked, especially now that I am pregnant and actually showing.  But, he does want to see me fixed up for him when he comes home.. it doesn't necessarily have to be "sexy" clothes, but he loves to see my hair done and a little make up on.  He doesn't expect that every day but usually I do it not only for him, but for myself.  I am a true "girly girl".

I do not know of any man who does not have a strong sex drive.  Maybe there are men out there who just don't care.  My ex-husband had a strong sex drive, but most of the time he would rather please himself with ol' left and righty, but my baby's father says he would rather have a warm body.    

How was your weekend?  ;)

[koukla29]

Role playing is hot!  Clothes, toys - all of it:)  Just try whatever sparks your interest, but make sure you are both comfortable.  Maybe even just having sex in a different place rather than the bedroom.  Being overly tired does decrease sex drive for anyone.  Talk to him about this. Maybe you can work something out.

[jenjen07]

honestly ....when it comes to the sex department of our relationship......im the one with all the sex drive ..........weve talked about it and planned to make more time.....but as of right now i dont think he was really being serious......

to koukla......we tried other rooms but sometimes it gets uncomfortable hes very tall hes 6"5 and im short 5"2.....any good postions for this height difference?

[koukla29]

Wow! What a difference, but very sexy!  Maybe you on top would be easier for you.  Or in the kitchen - if he props you up on the counter top.  The possibilities are endless!  It sounds however that the both of you have aknowledged that this is a problem in the relationship.  Maybe he is depressed and does not have the sex drive that he used to.  Have you noticed other changes in his behavior?  Also, he really could be tired, and needs either more sleep or less work.  I don't think it's you.  I think something is going on with him.

[jenjen07]

maybe it is just being tired...but he gets 3 days off in a row and even then hes not interested?.....no i dont think hes depressed........just i think he'd rather playvideo games ......any ideas on how to get his attention

[jenjen07]

i know his job is stressful.....but he always made time for it when he had a more physically demanding job........ive tried talking to him about it and he says he'll change but he never does........

honestly ....as of right now we havent had sex in a month........but about 6 days ago he said his"guys " were hurting and i gave him oral......well....from that point on he hasnt even said he would return the favor.....he just says he tired.....what the heck?

[koukla29]

Do you really want to be with this guy?  He sounds so selfish!  Why don't you tell him you're hurting too?  Are you sure he is not having an affair?  This sounds very fishy to me.  I think you should really take a look at if you are getting your needs met.  You don't have to be with someone who cannot or will not meet your needs.  You cannot change people, but you can decide what you are willing to put up with and you can do what's best for you.  Take care of yourself.  

[jml1986]

All good ideas from the others but I gotta tell you, blood presure medication can kill a sex drive in no time flat. I would suggest he talk to his doctor. Although most of the bp medication do have a loss sex drive as a side effect, sometimes just switching to a different one can do the trick. My husband went through four different ones before he found one that suck the sex life right out of him.

[jenjen07]

to koukla29  yes im sure hes not having a affair.......he is the kind of person who would stay in a relationship ...even an unhappy one until death he doesnt believe in affairs.......but i agree he is kind of selfish...hes just still in a immature phase.....but we have talked and have set a goal for the month...to have sex atleast once a week.......so i hope we can fix this problem......


to jml1986    yeah i heard that tooo.....maybe his bp medicine is doing it........so we'll see

thanks all

[koukla29]

Okay if he is not having an affair then I hope he gets out of his phase soon because it is hurting you.  You are sexy vibrant woman and should be treated as such!  Show up to bed with some massage oil and a santa hat!  Best of luck to you!

[jenjen07]

hes been in this phase for almost 3 years now.....but i know hes really trying to work hard for his family......its very important to him.......so really im just gonna see what happens since weve talked he really has shown me more attention...no sex yet but where onthe right track again.......



THANKS ALL

[Melissas6570]

I know this is a old thread, But you need to look at his BP meds.

[sasha18]

hey hope things worked out for u.
one thing is my man is way too horny when it comes to sex,
he doesnt mind havin it 3 times a day,yep He loves my in sexy lingerie..