I guess, im writing to tell my story. No matter how much you get told that what you did was the right thing you can really see that theyre just relieved they never had to make that choice. I have been married 9mths and had a termination in September. It was againist every fundemental part of my being at to be honest I dont know if I will ever recover from it. I was on the depo injections and I was that unfortunate 1% that had it fail on me. My husband and I spoke about it for days. i was so emotional and hormonal at the time. I am in the middle of testifying againist my father in a sexual abuse case on top of that I lost my job because of the absentism due to the court case. My husband got a job a week after the termination however, at the time neither of us were working.
i had to think about wanted I wanted for my children if I were to have them and there was only one thing that came to mind. Stability. And i couldnt offer that. Its been two months and my husband is happy pretending it never happened while im in therapy three times a week. i dont know what would have happened if I had kept it and i never will. I have never felt such self loathing and guilt in my life and trust me my life hasnt been easy.
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