I feel as though my life is spinning out of control the past few years. In 2008 & 2009 I had back surgeries (both didn't work), and now walk with a cane. Nobody pays attention to me because of the cane, so dating doesn't work for me. I am bipolar and my depression comes and goes. I am gaining weight. I feel more paranoid than not. Been having more anxiety attacks than I have been since diagnosed back in 07/1996. I am fine when I wake up and as soon as someone says something wrong to me at work I just loose it - I end up crying, rapid heartbeat, feeling extremely paranoid and have to go to the bathroom so I don't cause a scene. Worried that my health is going to cause my job. I am addicted to Vitamin C pills. Oh and the anger is bad as well. I barely have any friends. Not sure why I joined - guess I just need to know that someone cares and that is listening to ME.
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