I have had many unsuccessful relationships and attemptys at relationships in the past leading to disapointments and heartbreaks, but I remained persistent and a few months ago I met someone who I really hit it off with. In the course of those 3 months, my happiness has been on a steady decline and what scares me is that I have no idea why! She isn't a perfect human being, and I accept her flaws, so why am I feeling like something is wrong? It's gotten so that I feel anxious and paranoid all the time, no matter the lack of proof there is for feeling this way. She is great and I know I don't want to lose her, so why is my mind doing everything possible to effectively end the relationship? She doesn't know any of this yet, I've been good at hiding it so far. I feel I am losing control of the situation though and have started trying to convince myself that every little flaw of hers is a much bigger deal than it really is and that it's all going to end soon, and she'll go off and find someone else.
What is happening to me and how do I stop it before it's too late?
I just finished reading your comments. So if I read your post correctly, you
met this other woman in March. First of all, no person is perfect. You say
you're feeling anxious and paranoid all the time even though you have no
proof for feeling this way. It takes awhile for people to get to know each
other. You've only known each other for 3 months. I'm guessing you
might be experiencing some insecurity because I remember you saying
you have had unsuccessful relationships and attempts at relationships
and disappointments and heartbreaks. I don't know how old you are.
That doesn't really matter really. All I'm saying is that not all relationships
will work out. I've had my share of unsuccessful relationships including
my first marriage. I've had my share of heartbreaks. I think every person
on this earth has had unsuccessful relationships and heartbreaks.
My point is that it's all part of growing up, of learning from past relationships, growing from them and moving on. I'm wondering if you
are looking for faults in this women so you can justify leaving her
before she leaves you. As I said before, it takes awhile to really know
a person. One suggestion is to try and think of this relationship you
are having with your girlfriend as new and special. I would advise you
to take things slowly. Don't be intimate too soon or before you feel
comfortable. Think about what qualities you're looking for in a partner.
There's a book I found helpful when I was looking for my life partner.
It's called " Are you the One for Me ? " It's written by a woman.
Her name is Barbara DeAngelis. It really makes you think. Don't show
this book to your girlfriend though. She doesn't need to know you're
reading the book. I have lent this book to so many of my girlfriends
over the years. I'm happily married now, but it took me a long time to
find my husband. Like you, he had to earn my trust. I had a fair bit
of heartbreak too in my past prior to meeting my husband. I was very
distrustful about men in general until I forgave my ex husband and I
forgave myself. I don't know if that makes sense. So I advise you to
take things slowly, get to know her, spend as much time as you can
together doing fun activities and see how things go. I wish you the
best of luck. Eve :)
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