Its not rare to be in despair

[smokingjoe]

All my life i have had people around me in total conflict with the world around them
and i have been involved with trying to help them
i don't have any qualifications to help i just listen mostly
i don't know of anyone who is truly happy with their lives
is just coping the best we can hope for
as we get older and wiser
we realize we don't get wiser just older
despair is everywhere
we have just got to learn to cope with what we can
and be happy even if acceptance is all there is sometimes
good luck to you all in your different journeys in life
sometimes listening is enough
what do you think?

[Jaquta]

I read a small portion of your journal ?yesterday.  How's the stopping smoking going?

[innerchild09]

I think it's ok to listen to it and everything but don't let their problems become yours. It does helpt to talk to someone but remember that real help comes from phyciatrists and theropists. Also sometimes medication is neccecarry. Yes I believe everyone has issues but some people are able to deal with it better than other people. Yes there is a lot of dispear but some people are able to get on with their lives but others becoming depressed so bad they don't function normally. So you can be there for a person as long as you feel their mess isn't your mess. I hope this sounds ok. Not so good at getting words out.

[Jaquta]

Really?  I thought there were heaps of people happy with their lives.  Maybe it is just a perception.  I guess you're right in that everyone has issues, we aren't alone in that.

I think everyone can do better than just coping.  I think, often with support (psychotherapy, etc), that we can start to live our lives and make them work for us.  Existing is a painful life state to be in and isn't really any life.

That's true.  If we are receptive to things though we must get a little bit wiser.  I have found that despite not getting a whole lot better, more functional, etc,  I am still learning more about myself.  That would constitute wiser, wouldn't it?

I think that maybe we can't afford to take on board everyone else's despair.  It is easy to do but I'm not sure it really helps us with our life.
I think we should listen and be compassionate but I don't think that we should allow other people's problems to become our own.  I think we need to learn how to set and maintain boundaries.  From that position we are better able to help others.

Listening is good.  Validating a person is good.  I think just accepting people for who they are and where they are is also important.
I have no qualifications to help either.  I just seem to have developed a very big mouth (on the internet at least) after all the adversity I have faced.

I think learning to cope is a skill.  I from from there we build other skills and grow.
I don't think that we should settle for less than we are worth.  I think we need to keep trying and keep learning and growing.

I think your post brings up some very deep issues.

Sorry, I am being interrupted here.  The cat has just had kittens plus I need to get ready for my doctors appointment.

Take care.