my sister and I

[kibbler]

So I don't really know where to post this. I am having a really hard time dealing with my sister. She is 2 years younger than me, It all started when I was planning my husbands and I's wedding. She stood up with me but complained every bit of the way. Everything I asked her to do and she talked a lot behind my back. Then on my wedding day the wedding went good, we got to the reception and she started a rumor that her boyfriend, he is 13 years older than her and has a child with another woman, was going to propose to her during my wedding. I later heard that she was only going to do this because I had the attention on me and I shouldn't have all of the attention. (God Forbid its not like it was my wedding). Anyway we have got along pretty good since then (I do a really good job of ignoring her.) About a month ago my husband and I told everyone we were going to start trying to have a family. Well 3 weeks ago my sister came to me because she thought she might be pregnant. Why she cam to me I have no idea, I kind of feel like it was to shove it in my face (maybe not but I don't know) So now she is pregnant with the boyfriend that is way older and she is living off of our parents more or less. She doesn't live there she drives their cars and asks them for money all of the time. Mom has even paid all of her doctor bills for her being pregnant because she doesn't have any insurance.

I guess what I am looking for is for someone else to say that this isn't okay for her to do this to our parents. She is just so immature I can't stand it and everyone feels sorry for her. I DON'T

[babylove2006]

I agree! That is so wrong. How old is she? If you don't mind me saying so, She is a BRAT!!



Honey! I wish you the best!



It's like she can't stand for you to be happy.:)

[sparkeler]

She has insecurity issues and unfortunatly your feeling the heat because of it.  I know its easier said then done, but ignore her.  Live your life and start your family.  Don't pay her much mind and keep the conversations short and sweet.  Don't let her get to you and she'll soon realize that she is playing this game alone.  She is competing w/herself and she's eventually going to feel like an ***hole.  Congrads on your wedding and your future family!

[kibbler]

She is only 19 and he boyfriend is 33

[babylove2006]

I agree with Sparkler. She will soon know that this is a game she is playing by her self. You stay strong! Good Luck!

[JJety]

She has MAJOR self-esteem and security issues.  



No, she has no right to do that to your parents.  Unfortunately though that is totally up to them.  They're certainly adults that can decide what they will and won't allow her to get away with.  There's nothing you can do about that one, and if you question it your parents may feel like you're insulting their intelligence.  Tread lightly on that issue.



As far as her being a total brat and wanting all of the attention...I don't have any answers.  I'd be so frustrated and annoyed if my kid sister was acting that way.  Maybe at 12 or 13 years old they could have an excuse, but certainly not at 19.  She just has serious issues that can't be helped unless she wants to help herself.  When she has the baby she'll realize that it's not a game.  Babies are not all cute and cuddles 100% of the time.  They're shockingly hard work, harder than she has EVER EVER imagined and she'll get her reality check.  You just sit back and enjoy it.  ;-)   Besides, you'll have a cute niece or nephew to play with, so it's all good.

[jojo24]

Your sister is jealous and trying to compete with you.  She wants what you have because she sees your happiness and wants it for herself too.  It's sibling rivalry.  I should know because I have gone through that with my brother.  We were always trying to outdo each other. I felt like he had so much going for him and it wasn't that I wanted to screw up things with him, but I wanted the same things he had only better.  She sees all of these wonderful things happening for you (congrats on your marriage, by the way) and wants those same things RIGHT NOW, and it sucks cuz she doesn't know how much time and effort you put into making these things happen and she's jumping into them without preparation.  But don't hate her for it or judge her for it.  She just needs guidence and to grow up and believe me, she will grow up when she has that baby.  But honestly, I think it's a younger sister thing.

[Kalio1]

Sorry you have to go through that. My sister found out I was getting married, then at the last minute planned her wedding to be two weeks before mine, of course this made it extremelydifficult on the guests as we live 400 miles apart.She did the same thing when I became pregnant with my first child, she found out and proceeded to TRICK her husband into getting pregnant by stopping her pills behind his back, tricked him on purpose because he wanted to wait until he was out of school to think about babies. Some sisters are just aholes, not much you can do except try to live your life and ignore it.

But dont forget she is like this when she tries to be "nice" be careful of her, dont trust her with your confidences, she has proven to be a back stabber. If she wants a real "sisterhood" with you, make her prove her trustworthiness before you trust her again.

My sister continues to act this way,no matter how manyyears go by. I finally accepted it but it took many heartaches first before I realized she was just a petty, jealous, insecure person and it had nothing at all to do with me.

I have bent over backwards for her, helped her in every way a sister should but that just makes her even more angry inside.

Your sister needs  counselling and some mental help.

[anxiousmomtobe?]

A lot of folks are very immature at 19.  In the future you may have an excellent relationship, so don't burn any bridges.  Sometimes you just have to be the bigger person.  Obviously she is insecure.  And I have no doubt that she is very frightened and confused as well.



Protect yourself, but don't turn your back on family, especially during a difficult time.

[Kalio1]

It sounds like you both are pretty young, time might improve things. I agree, TRY not to turn your back on your family but if the family member is abusive and toxic in your life, sometimes that is what you have to do.



The idea that family transcends everything is not true, sometimes you have to distance yourself from certain members in order for you to remain healthy and not let them drag you into their toxic issues.

[sparkeler]

I also agree that the immaturity can be due to her age too.  She probably is in such a rush to be a woman and have a family and is envious of you.  Your a little older and more mature and now married and wanting to start a family. Alot of young girls want that fantasy life.  This can also explain why she is dating that 33 year old.  Hopefully as she gets older, she'll mature mentally and appreciate you a little more.  She may also want to give her right arm to be 19 again.

[Kalio1]

LOL to your "give her right arm to be 19 again" comment.

thanks for the laugh, I needed one.



take care

[sparkeler]

Glad I could make you smile:)

[RAWINA]

Soonm your sister will pay big time for her actions. she is sick and need help, may be she has to see a psycologist.

[blackrose]

Sorry to hear about your situation.Have you tried talking to her about this?Has she all ways been that way?Did your mama and daddy baby her all the time?If so that might be the cause of her behavior.Even when children get up older,they still feel the need for the same attention.How does your parents feel about them taking care of her all the time?I know this is hard for them too,she is not even trying.Talk to your parents about this and tell them you can't baby her all of her life.She will never work,and take care of her baby.Your parents want lieve for ever,and you don't want to remember them all ways giving and never recieving any thing in return for there generosity.Put an end to this Bull S***.

[m13]

I am so sorry to hear that you are experiencing this. I can say this with complete sympathy.   I too am experiencing this my sister and mom.  I will state the short version here.  I had been sensing my younger (2 years) unwed (been with boyfriend for under one year) unable to keep up with her condo mort. payments sister was pregnant.   I just had a sixth sense about it.   So 5 days before I found out.   I mentioned to my mom that my husband of 6 years and I have been trying to get pregnant for over one year.   And that we were about to start seeing a fertility doctor.   I also mentioned not to worry about me and that if she calls about my sister that I may not be "feeling"  what she is saying due to where I am in my life.   I thought she heard me.    My mother sprung in me the news of my sister's pregnancy while I was at work without any concern to my well being.   It went along the lines of "I have some news. Your sister's pregnant."  I was crushed!  I am still am.    I took the next day off to figure out a way to cope.   I am sending myself back to counseling.  It's hard to hear about her pregnancy to start with then add in the callus why I was told.   It's really horrible.

I am sorry that you too hard feeling hardships with your family.   I can say with open arms that I understand your pain.  And that you are not alone.