Ethical Question

[ScaredinNY]

I am in the process of testing for Hep C and STDs. The guy I was seeing (and having unprotected sex with), told me prior to us having sex that he's been tested for STDs and is clean. He did not; however tell me he had Hep C.

Here's my issue.

When the time comes for me to start another relationship, and assuming that all my tests come back clean, am I obligated to tell my new partner that I was involved with someone with Hep C.  If I don't have it, then is it even worth mentioning?

I am going to be much smarter about using condoms in the future - condoms are a must until I know we are in a committed monogomous relationship.

[slow_healer]

If you feel like that's something you need to be honest about (even if you're clean), tell your future partner. In fact, use it as a supporting reason to enforce using protection until you are monogamous. If it's any consolation, I would also feel the need to be honest about that and would let my future partner know. Besides, if the test comes back clean then you're clean and that's all there is to it.

If the test comes back positive, well it sounds like you would be honest with a potential partner in letting them know (that's great!) Don't feel ashamed. You asked your current partner and they were dishonest. Though it was still your decision to trust them, you didn't lie nor did you consent to exposing yourself to disease like that. Unfortunately some people like to warp the truth to make those kinds of "little white lies" acceptable in their minds. Fortunately for us, we get to choose to be better than that :)

[anxiousmomtobe?]

I hope your test is negative.  And what your last partner did is unethical and possibly criminal.

If you are clean, there is no reason to tell a future partner, of course you must reveal if you test positive.  

Always use a condom, it is so unfortunate that there are people out there who will lie and put your health at risk.

[sparkeler]

I dont think you have an obligation to tell anyone that you could 'potentially have Hep C.'  It's nobodys business that you have tested for it or were involved with someone who has it.

If it comes back positive then you will have to muster up the courage & have that conversation.  Hell, Pamela Anderson has it & she has no trouble finding boyfriends or marrying Kid Rock 3 times & then leaving him.  Cross that bridge when you get to it.  Of course, always wear condoms in the meant time.

[RockRose]

If you test negative,  is there still a chance you do have it,  and can pass it on?  

If there is no chance you have it and so could not pass it on to another partner,  I don't understand the ethics in telling a future partner that you once were at risk.

Is there some health risk you would be bringing to the new partner?

Best wishes that you test negative for everything.

[ScaredinNY]

Thanks for the responses.

If I do test positive for anything, I would definitely tell any potential partner.  I couldn't live with myself knowing that I had been that dishonest, and put someone else at risk.

However, if I am negative for Hep C and also STDs as I'm getting a full panel done, I would rather not mention it at all.  It was a bad relationship that I jumped into too quickly, but I'm not the only person who has been guilty of bad judgement.  I would rather just let it be history.

[RockRose]

I think that's fine,  Scared.  The only reason to reveal that mistake,  is if the other person is at risk in any way.  When you get tested,  you may want to ask the doc if further follow up testing is needed - I know they do 3 month and 6 month tests for some viruses.

Best wishes.  Once burned,  twice cautious.  ;D

[caregiver222]

First of all, send a registered return receipt letter to the assistant district attorney and state you want a meeting and to have him criminally charged with "Reckless endangerment", a D felony in my state. His behavior is unconscionable. Do not go to the police. Write to the District Attorneys Office: "Attention Sex Crimes Investigation Unit." What a creepy-crawley. If they hesitate to charge get an attorney, make a stink, ands tell them you want a Grand Jury proceeding. The elements of the cfrime have been committed even if you don't test positive. Spending a weekend in Central Booking getting coca-colas for the Aryan brotherhood will do positive things for his judgement.

[caregiver222]

In New York State Reckless endangerment is covered in 120.25 of the Penal Law "A person is guilty of reckless endangerment in the first degree, when under circumstances evincing a depraced indifference to human life, he recklessly engages in conduct which creates a grave risk of death to another person". In New York State this is a "D" felony, punishable by up to seven years in prison. Do not go to the local precinct and engage in stupidities with the civilian complaint representative. Deal directly with the District Attorney and cite that section of the penal code. Good luck.

[Kalio1]

Hep C is not an STD and the chances of contracting it via sex are extremely small. Both people would have to have open wounds and be bleeding in order for there to be any risk at all of passing it along. I sincerely doubt you could make a criminal case stick at all. You have to share BLOOD with someone to contract it, meaning it is only passed via BLOOD TO BLOOD contact, like shooting drugs with the same needle or something similar. It isn't like HIV or Hep B which can be passed through bodily fluids. I think your advice is way over the top and inaccurate.
It would be a different story if it was HIV.