I think my boyfriend is an addicted to Pain Pills..HELP

[Girly02]

I have a question and I am looking for some, any kind of help with this.  My b/f started doing oxycottin about 3 months ago.  It has gotten worse lately though.  We fight all the time he is moody and just never in a good mood.  He takes prolly 40-80 grams a day.  He cuts the 80grams up and takes them through out the day.  It hurts me that he is doing this to himself.  His mom buys oxycottin off of his one friend.  She buys 10-15 at a time each week.  I find it hard to believe that his mom doesnt know about his addiction. He got very angry one night when i mentioned it so that his mom could hear.  He tells me he does not want me to say anything about him taking the oxycottin and it is none of my bussiness what he does.  I dont know what to do?!   He used to be the greatest guy in the world.  But its all just falling apart now.  Ilove him to death, but it is not a healthy situation.  Last night he trying throwing me out the car.  He also grabed me and pushed me away.  he is very distant and when i tryed talking to him about what was going on between us he didnt want to talk about it??  He didnt want me to leave, but yet i dont think he wanted me to stay.   It was a very tough situation.  I just dont know where to begin or what to do.  How do i approach him w/ his problem?  

[PlateletGal]

This is a tough situation, but I think the outcome will be far worse if you do not do anything ASAP to try to stop your boyfriend's addiction. In addition, your boyfriend has become abusive with you. You need to protect yourself first and as far as him, you can only do so much, but I think you should try. Anna Nicole Smith is a good example. If you continue in the relationship and don't try to stop him from hurting himself, you will put yourself in more danger and him as well.

Have you thought about calling his physician ? Or is your boyfriend getting all of his pills from his friend ?

[yess22]

Hey there,
I read this forum on a daily basis but have never posted. I am posting now becasue not too long ago i was in a very similar situatin with my boyfriend. I actually had posted for advice on a different relationship forum and had very negative resposes for example " this is not someone you want to be with... " maybe other people didnt understand. I knew in my heart that I still wanted to be with my boyfriend 100 %... because he was struggling and going through a dark time did not mean i wanted to give up on him.

And I will tell you the situation had gotten to a dark point. He was crushing up oxys and snorting them for about four months straight. He wouldn't do a lot of oxy every day but just enough to get him going and never went a day without it. The way your boyfriend's mom almost encourages his oxy use, my boyfriends buddies were also infatuated with the drug. Maybe your bf's mom is also addicted to oxy and that is why she doesn't see the problem. Let me tell you, it is the hardest thing in the world to tell the person you love that you think they have a problem (especially when it comes to drug addiction) because they dont even want to admit that they have a problem. The response from my boyfriend was usually " I can stop any time I want... its just for fun". And to tell you the truth I didn't see him have fun when he was high on oxy, he would go about his daily duties, but like your boyfriend, would become angry and really highstrung, make the biggest deal over nothing. I knew deep down that it wasn't him because I knew him better than that, but drugs do change a person,
You need to ask yourself if it is worth it or not? I am not saying that he is violent, but even drugs are no excuse to be violent with you. But if you love him, I dont think you will feel better until you communicate with him. I am sure you dont want your boyfriend to think you are the bad guy for telling him he has a problem, so approach it in a calm manner. Wait until he isnt high and it is just the two of you, let him know that you care about the relationship but he is hurting you by using oxy. I never told my boyfriend that he had to stop but I told him how I really felt. I had searched oxycontin in yahoo and google and found some very disturbing facts....  i shared these with him as well.
I think what really made my boyfriend want to stop is when he experienced a withdrawl first hand. He finally didn't have any oxy one night and the next morning woke up sweating and in terrible pain, he could barely move except to run to the bathroom. oxycontin is a synthetic heroin so he was having the withdrawls of a herion addict. this really opened up his eyes.

I think in your heart you know what is right for you and your situation. Some people need someone to say "hey what your doing isn't right". I think he definatly needs to know how he is treating you isn't right. If he has a bad reaction then at least you know you tried. I am not sure the details of your relationship so I can not tell you how he will react.
I stuck it through with myboyfriend and couldn't be happier that I did. There are times where he wants to just use it occasionally and now I am not afraid to stand up and say " you are not putting me though that again".
I am sorry to hear about your situation and I dont know if my post helps but it is nice to know that you are not alone. Also check out the addiction forum on this website.

[Girly02]

Thank you for all the advice.. i really appriciate it.  Please keep the good advice coming.  My one really good friends feel as though i should sit down and talk to his mom about it.  But i'm not to sure because we are not close at all.  She was best friends with the ex girlfriend.  She was a totally horrible inflence, they used to take e all the time.  soo help me please!! Thank you!!!

[socgirl]

leave as soon as you can.  i know you love him and you're very concerned about him.  However, he's abusive and he has a problem.  Talking to his mother probably won't help...sounds like she's part of the problem.  you're fooling yourself if you think you can change him.  For him to change and get help, he has to want to do it...it doesn't sound like he's ready right now.  

[PlateletGal]

I sort of agree with socgirl, but honestly... first off I think you should do everything you can do to try to help him and especially since his mother sounds like she has a problem herself and is unable to help him. However, at the same time, this guy has physically abused you. So do what you can, but make sure that you are safe at ALL TIMES! That may require not seeing him in person or if you do... take your friend(s) with you. If he threatens or hits you, I honestly think you need to report him to the authorities. Unfortunately, this is what it takes to try to help someone.

This is no longer about saving your relationship. You may have to sacrifice (which, actually you can't continue on the road you are on.... the relationship will eventually end anyway) your relationship to try to save this guy that you love. I actually know someone from years ago who reported her boyfriend to authorities, in an attempt to get him away from hurting himself. After he cleaned up his act, she told him that she was the one who reported him... he thanked her.

[hardcoreback]

well, pain killers are deadly ... very.. tell him many had died because of it... may it be NUBIAN or anything.. try searchin for biographies of people who had died because of pain killer overdose.. and then give it to him.. this may look crazy but this will hit him hard.. who wants to die early? i mean.. he knows what's good for him after that... go straight .. show him his final journey if he dont stop. god bless

[Girly02]

Thank you everyone for your help!!!   Last night was better.  But i didnt get over to his house until 10 or so and I find a pen emptyed of its ink that they must of used to snort it.  And he jsut bought like 30 ABG pills last night.  WE went to the bar to hang out w/ some friends and he was so down.  He even @ one point put his head down on the bar.   It was def. depressing but i didnt really say much.  Because i didnt want to cause an argument.  

[someoneinneed]

I am going through the same thing with my husband,  I actually kicked him out to his parents house and it has been about a month and a half and we just started having real conversations.  He says he has been straight for 5 weeks now and did it on his own.  It is very hard to believe because for 5 months at our house he was not able to do that.  Maybe not being home, losing his job and living with his parents opened his eyes.  It took all of me to pack his stuff, change the locks and turn off his phone, but if it helped him than I was willing to take that chance.  Sometimes if you love them let them go if they love you they will come back, if not then it was not meant to be.  But I have learned that you can not fight this battle for them, they have to want to do it if they are going to get straight.

[jen218]

my boyfriend has been living a seperate life of drugs behind my back.help me please

[teko]

My first question is, Why does someone turn to drugs in the first place? I mean, what is so wrong with real life that they feel the need to be mentally altered somehow, all in the name of having fun? Secondly, the fact that they are dabbling with a mind altering substance and it changes their personality and they are not acting like the person we fell in love with, now we are living with a drug and not that person that we knew pre-drug. Right? This person has issues and needs help, I agree but they have to want the help. It does not sound like your bf does. Until he does there is nothing you can do except tell him how the drug use is changing him and your relationship and your ability to deal with it all. Short of doing that, your only recourse would be to decide if the relationship is worth it.  If you are not a drug user yourself, my guess is you will distance yourself until he comes around. I would not care if he did not like it, drugs kill people and I would tell anyone and everyone who could help him and take measures to cut off the dealer, whoever that is. Good luck

[Jaybay]

YOU can't make him stop abusing oxycontin.  HE has to do it.  It doesn't sound like he has any intention of doing so right now.  Right now, that drug is the most important thing in his life - not you.

You can only control your own behavior.  If you leave him, make certain that your reasons for leaving are very clear.  And remember, an addict will lie first to himself, and then to everyone else in his life.  "I can quit any time I want to."  It's not that easy otherwise there wouldn't be so many rehab facilities in this country.  He either comes back to you clean and sober, or he doesn't come back.

I can hear the confusion in what you write.  It's a terrifying thing to see the person you love change into someone you don't know (and don't particularly want to know) nearly overnight.  If you can find a NarAnon group in your area, drop in for a couple of sessions.  NarAnon provides support and information for friends and family members of addicts.  Can't hurt, might help.  :-)

[jo929]

you cannot help your friend get off of the oxocidin, unless he wants to, and it sounds as if he does not. also i imagine that his mom knows about this,, my advice would be to let hm alone, and get on with your life, as he could get worse  luck  jo

[BOOPBOOPS]

HEY HUNNIE, I DO NOT WANT TO BE THE BEARER OF BAD NEWS, BUT THE CHANCES OF HIM STOPPING NOW ARE SLIM. I HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS WITH MY FIANCE. FOR ME THOUGH, IT GOT VERYYYY BAD. BUT WHEN YOU SAID THAT YOU WERE IN THE BAR TE OTHER NIGHT AND HE PUT HIS HEAD DOWN...WELL EVERY TIME HE TAKES A OXY HE IS GOING TO DO THAT. THAT IS WHAT HAPPENES THAT IS ALSO WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE OXYS LEAD INTO WORSE DRUGS. DO LET HIM OR THE ADDTCTION MESS WITH YOU MENTALLY, IT EVENTUALLY TAKES A TOLL ON YOU AND THEN YOU ARE THE ONE FEELING CRAZY. HE WILL STOP WHEN HE IS GOING TO STOP, SAD BUT TRUE...IT TOOK MY FANCE 2 YEARS...GOOD LUCK AND PLEASE DONT HESITATE CHATTING WITH ME...TAKE CARE

[tf4e]

You need to keep your head, Your bf has to hit rock bottom before he realizes he has a problem. I used to use before. I spent 4 1/2 years in prison because of my drug use. It took being in a cell for almost 5 years for every single day for me to get the hint that soberity is the way to go. Watch the show called Intervention. You can call them. They will pay for him to go to treatmeant and all of the plane tickets.