Worried about the future of this relationship

[tjaxan]

I have been dating someone for almost 7 months. When we are together its great, he is honest, he tells me everything, even things i don't want to hear. Just recently we decided to move in together. We spent the past weekend talking about our plans for the place and our plans for the future.  We were happy and things felt right. Monday hits and i get a text (which to me is impersonal) stating i need to hold off on putting in my notice (i am moving out of town to his place) he will talk to me later. i text him back b/c he won't pick up the phone if it is about work and he says yes. He finally texts me again around 8 pm to say he still can't talk and he is having a problem with work.  I find it hard to lay off when i get messages like that. He continues to promise to get back to me and he doesn't for a long time leaving not knowing what is going on with us. It seems like when things start to move forward we get on a dramatic roller coaster.  I don't know what to do. I am trying to be understanding but the lack of communication on this subject is bothering me and making me wonder if it is all worth it. I am a worrier by nature as he knows. How do i approach this with him.

[RockRose]

tj - you're probably too entrenched in this relationship to see it clearly.  It sounds like he doesn't want an intimate relationship,  he wants a girlfriend who lives out of town.

Thank goodness you didn't already quit,  and move there to find that out.     It always seems best to date someone in your own town,  because people who choose to date people who live somewhere inaccessable often don't want an intimate relationship.  THey just want to feel like they have one.

Best wishes.

[mayflowers]

It sounds like he is getting cold feet.  Back off for a while, don't quit or move just yet.  Now, you need to ask yourself if this is someone you really want to invest any time in?  It's ok that he is scared (you probably are as well), but he should talk to you about it so the two of you can work it out.  Otherwise nothing is going to get done.  Now, some guys will acknowledge their fear, talk to their gf, work it out and the relationship will become closer and perhaps move towards marriage.   OR, he won't want to face you or his fears of moving in together, in which case you are just wasting precious time.  Cut your losses and move on.  Back off from him and see which road he decides to take.  Then, decide if he's worth it to you.  Good luck.