Help!! My 3 year old won't potty train!!!!

[GinGib]

Help!! I have a son that is almost 3 years and 3 months and he is so totally not interested in potty training. I put him in pull ups at 3 years old because I felt he was too big and has too extensive a vocabulary not to be potty trained but I left him alone and haven't pushed him. He will go pee pee real well in the potty but only if I make him go in there, he won't tell me when he needs to go, however when he has on a pull up he will tell me, mom I just went pee pee. He is a very high strung child and won't sit still for very long. He has pooped 3 times in the potty but it is hell trying to get him to sit there long enough to let it happen and as soon as some comes out he says he is done then we put a pull up on and he finishes the job. He tells me he is going in his room to poop and I will say don't you want to sit on the potty and do it like a big boy and he says no. Now if I have a toy to bribe him with he will try it on the potty but won't do the whole job. On one occasion he was going in his room to go and I said let's do it on the potty he held it in and wound up not going. This morning again he said mom I am going in my room to poop and again I said don't you want to do it on the potty and he said no. I guess my question is do I force him to sit on the potty when he tells me he is going in his room to poop. I have always heard not to force the issue and stress them about it but I feel like such a failure. How do I get him to go in the potty and tell me when he needs to go? Sorry so lengthy HELP!!!

[TanteMilly]

Oh my goodness! What we all have to look forward to! I was just watching a Dr. Phil show about potty training. I can't remember what he said but he did mention to visit his website for all of the details on how to potty train in one day. It sounded like it should work!!?? Best of luck!

Shelley

[nurse12hr]

I actually got a book when my kids were little, called "Potty Training in Less Than a Day".



Can't say it took less than a day, but there were some good hints and specific techniques in it.



What finally worked for my older son (younger one was no problem) was bribing him with M&M's.  Kept a big tupperware container of them in the bathroom out of his reach.  Matter of factly told him when he peed, he got 5.  When he pooped, he would get 20.  (Peeing is easier!).  No fuss when he had accidents, he just didn't get the M&M's.  In nothing flat he could "produce" at any time...sort of backfired after a while, he could pee just a little bit, then go right back in and pee again in 5 mins, etc.  



But, it did work.  He was 2 and a half at the time.



Guess he took after me, candy hound that I am...

[Stacie30]

My son was also stubborn about this. He was 4 yrs old when I finally got him trained. I had tried everytthing. Cheerios, the books, trying to make him sit on the potty...You know what worked- I started showing no interest in it at all. He would say he was going to go in his diaper and I would say-"ok" no mention of the potty at all. Finally one day he said "I think I'm big enough for the potty now". I said "ok" and he's been using it ever since!! :o) I guess I'm a pacifist, but I know whenever my parents pressured me to do something- I took great joy in doing the exact opposite. Still do. Maybe you have the beginnings of a little rebel yourself. :o)

[chey101]

hi i had my daughter potty really young, and i have to say i owe it all to m&m and smarties. every time she went to even try and use her potty she got a m&m or smarty. i had her fully potty trained within 3 months and she was only about 16 months old. try it! it might work!

[Melissa Prevost]

I always heard with lil boys its much easier to potty train cus you can play games with them my mom told me she did this one with my brothers she had put a cherieo in the tolit and told them to try and rope it and if you could rope the cheerio then you'll get a cookie or candy or something in that nature with my niece my mom tried the privery method tell him he'll get a prize if he goes to the big boy potty tell him you'll take him to mcdonalds or to walmart for a toy if he goes like a big boy it works most of the time I would try the cheerio method for when he pee's and the privery method for poopoo good luck we are still working with my 2 1/2 year old niece. don't get discurdge it'll happen soon I'm sure of it.

[DJS1969]

Thank God I found this site. Now I don't feel all alone in my child's potty training trials and tribulations. My daughter is 3 years 1 month and I have been trying to potty train her since June of 2007. She has done both pee and poops on the potty, but they are never done willingly.  I have tried the M&M bribe, and various other tactics, but she still goes in her Pull Ups. I think she may just be lazy and knows that she can still go in her pants and it's not going to be a problem. I have tried to put her in underpants, but she has peed on my furniture and I'm sorry, I'm not that brave.

She has been in Nursery School since September. I have her wear a Pull Ups since school is only 2 1/2 hours long 3 days a week. She manages to get through it without any movements (but there have been a few times she has and I have to go and change her). She is going to start Pre-K this September, and it's 5 days a week and a full day. I'm am having anxiety already that she will not be fully potty trained by then.

Fingers Crossed!

[JoyRenee]

Potty Training In Less Than a Day is a book I've heard a lot of women recommend, including my mother-in-law. I'm currently potty training my 2 1/2 year old girl (boys are harder to potty training, I've been told).

When she was 18 months I bought a potty chair. She used it to sit on, store toys in, etc. And finally at around 2 years old, she got interested in going in it. Every time she went potty in the potty, she got a STICKER. When she pooped, she got CHOCOLATE (you decide how much---maybe 3 M&Ms at first).

Have your son walk around in little boy underwear (no diaps during the day). Expect accidents. Have him watch a potty movie over and over. If he has a potty-trained/training friend, have them come over to encourage him (this helped my DD a LOT because when she saw her cousin going, she wanted to, too).

YOU will have to remind him to go potty every 5-10 minutes. Clap and get excited when he goes and tell him, "Good try" when he doesn't but at least sits on the potty. Give him a LOT to drink (juice and water) so he has to feel the urge to go often, therefore learning what to "feel like" when he has to go potty.

Create a reward system for him (simple is best---at 3 he may be ready for a chart where he gets stickers... after a lot of stickers, he gets something special like a trip to the park or an extra book at bedtime or McDonalds or something).

Anyway, you'll start of with rewards and slowly stop doing them. My DD is doing a good job going potty but she has accidents still (like pooping in her panties last night and peeing in front of the potty after I told her to go potty a million times).

Don't expect change overnight. And don't expect him to tell you he needs to go potty right away either. That is a learning process.

[JoyRenee]

Oh... LOL! This is an old post... *feeling silly*

[Java_Junkie]

My son, who is 3 yrs and 4 months old, is now REFUSING to use the potty chair and we've done everything everyone on here has suggested many many times.  Candies, stickers, chocolate, tons of praise from the whole family.  For a while he was doing great!  Had even started going into the bathroom by himself and going.  We were so excited.  But now he refuses to go.  I ask him if he wants to be a big boy and he says "no I want to be a baby."  I'm nearly broken hearted over this.  My older son (now a teenager, so no help there) took to potty training so fast.  He was completely trained, 100% in 2 weeks flat.  I know you're not suppose to compare children, and I'm not, I'm simply saying that because he was so easy I have absolutely no idea what to do.

[marsha_ann]

My younger son is 3 yr 5 mths.  And he is not interested in pottying either.  I've tried everything but reward with candy.  I did the M&M thing with my older boy, and it worked ... but I had daycare help with him.  He was 3 1/2 when I finally got him trained.  I'm at home with my toddler now with no daycare help.  I might have to try the candy thing again.  
I bought the Elmo Potty Time dvd, and it didnt help any.  

[steff23]

For my son pull ups didn't work. They are to much like diapers. So we decided we'd stop with the diapers and pull ups and just put him in his underwear. We'd bring him in the bathroom every time we had to use it and when we were done we'd ask him if he wanted to be a big boy and try to pee pee in the potty. Sometimes he'd say yes and sometimes he'd say no. We didn't push! Well, Because we stopped putting diapers and pull ups on him and only stuck with the underwear.. After about 3 or 4 times of him using the bathroom in them he decided he didn't like it and started to use the potty! You really can't push them because of course a child is going to do what you don't want them to do! You have to ask the child and stick with it. The moment you give up you'll end up having to start all over! We also offered him a small reward for every time he peed in the potty. We would give him a sticker. He loved stickers. Every time he pooped in the potty we took him to the store and bought him a cheap hot wheels car. We did that maybe 4 or 5 times and after he got more frequent at using the potty we stopped buying stuff for him and just kept up with the "Good boy" and "Good Job" and "What a big boy". He loved to read so everyday after he drink his juice we bring him in the bathroom with books and while he sat on the potty we'd take turns reading to him! That helped a little to! Still to this day he likes to sit on the potty reading. haha. Typical boy! Good luck to you!

[twinhelp]

My 3 year old twins (boy/girl) have no interest in potty training. I don't want to push them but I must have them trained by Aug. 18th or I will have no childcare and I must go back to work. I have bought the DVD's and books. I have made the charts and my son has peed a few times but my little girl will not pee at all. She sits there then jumps up and says "I done." I have not tried the candy yet but I am thinking of doing that. I have tried bribing with trips to Build-A-Bear and Zoo. Any help or advice will be greatly appreciated!  

Twinhelp

[jennyjenny9]

twinhelp, we are in a very similar boat.  I have 3 and a half year old twin boys who will be starting preschool in about 3 weeks and must be potty trained.  Jake is an old pro and I have no worries about him.  Luke, however is an entirely different story.  He could not care less about going to the potty.  I don't know what else to try.  I have "left him alone" (no pressure), we've done sticker charts, we've done m&m's, grandparents have promised a toy he wants very badly.....nothing.  Even when I take him on "scheduled" potty trips he will do a couple of drops and that's it.  He doesn't care if his underwear  are wet or dirty.   I'm sorry I don't have advice...just wanted you to know you aren't alone!

Jenny

[uauuauu]

My duaghter is 3 and wont train.  She can read, she knew all her letters capital and lowercase by 18 months, but she wont pottytrained.  It is clearly a decision on her own part.  She has other things too, like she is picky about walking on grass( she wont do it, even with shoes on unti l recently, she wont go in the river, she has other picky odd things she doesnt like.  I think its a sensory issue.  She also wont play with the other kids at preschool, just sits by herself and plays puzzles and legos.  I was thinking maybe autism, but she is fine around me. But she cries and screams if i put her on the potty.  she used to sit on it no prob, but wouldnt go.  now she wont even sit, she just screams if i put her on it.  Otherwise shes a good kid, doesnt throw tantrums very often, respectful, ect.....

[twinhelp]

I do feel better knowing I'm not alone! Thanks for sharing!

[kellym]

I gave my dd fluids for 3 days straight and chased her around in big girl panties peeing all over my house. I GAVE UP! Now, I think for her it's a defiant thing, believe it or not, she ALWAYS wants to yell, "mom I'm going potty" and is on the toilet. She's always peeling her pull-up or diaper off to run to the potty. I swear, I beat it in her head for 3 days straight and then left it alone. Also, my dd likes to be alone when she potties. When I was sitting there almost demanding she go, she wouldn't. Now I don't need anything but praise. Good luck.

[carrie78]

try putting cheerioes in the toilet as targets....i had a friend that this worked for...her son thought it was the coolest thing....good luck