Going back to work, colicky baby

[Crritter]

Next Wednesday I have to go back to work, which I'm not too worried about.  I would much rather be home with the boys, but I love the daycare provider that we go to and my first son loves it there.  He has been going twice a week while I have been out on leave, just so he can stay in the loop and play with his friends.  He looks forward to it and I'm sure my little one will be fine there too.  The thing is when I went back after my first baby it was really hard, and the job I had was 8 to 5 Mon. through Fri. no holidays or weekends.  Sometimes I would have to go in earlier or stay later, but I was the one scheduling those presentations (did PR work)so I could work around it.  With this job I have a schedule that varies.  Mostly days, but some weekends and some evenings.  I'm so stressed about next Thursday.  I have to work till 10 pm.  My son is colicky and even though he is on meds for acid reflux and on a special formula, he still cries a lot in the evening.  It's hard enough for me to handle and I have my husband there.  I'm so worried for my husband when I'm gone.  I know he can handle it, but taking care of a crying baby for a few hours and a preschooler is stressful.  I have mentioned that evenings are hard for me right now, but I understand that they have to be fair and give me one a week.  Am I overreacting?  I'm a wreck about leaving my boys and really wish that they would just ease me in a little slower with the schedule, only 1 other co-worker has kids back there and her baby was born 4 days before my little one.  She went back last week, but only works 2 nights a week.  She works nights but doesn't have a colicky baby and hers sleeps almost through the night.  She also requests the night shift so she does not have to pay for daycare, waits till her husband is home or has her mom come over from down the street.  I'm happy for her, but feel it makes me look like a whiner for not wanting to be gone at night.  If I worked 8 hrs a week and had no daycare and had a baby that went to bed between 7 and 8 and only got up once at night to eat I think I'd be okay too.  She was also the one that called in pregnant to work and sometimes just did not show for her 2 shifts a week.  She would then sit down and eat the whole time till they sent her home an hour later.  I know as lazy as she is she can't really make me look bad, but I still would rather not work nights and am not sure how to put it to my boss other than telling them how fussy my little guy is.  I get maybe 4 hrs a night of interrupted sleep and now I wiull have to work nights too and be up by 5 the next morning to go back in early.  Sorry, guess I needed to vent.  Any advice?  Also feel free to use as an open forum.

[anxiousmomtobe?]

Critter,

I'm so sorry your little one is so fussy.  I am sure this is making going back to work much harder.  I don't have a whole lot of advice, just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you.

Maybe it's time to start looking for another job.

c

[Me2mommy2b]

Oh, boy.  I know all about colicky baby and reflux.  DD is still on Prevacid (she's 8 months).  I went back to work when she was 4 months and I did it part time so that helped a lot.  I agree with anxious...if it's possible, try to find a less demanding job.  Meanwhile, do not worry!  It all works out in the end.  You're not overreaction and you're anxiety is totally understandable, but do try to take a deep breath and relax.  If DH can't handle it, can you get a member of the family help out?  Or hire someone to be there with him with the kids?  I definitely know what you're going through, Hang in there, it (the reflux) will get better.  What med is your DS on?

[AnnieBrooke]

As you tell the boss the problem, stress the amount of sleep you are unable to avoid not getting, rather than "my baby this" and "my baby that."  A boss will be concerned about you making mistakes out of tiredness more than about your baby being colicky.  In other words, don't stress the reason for your not getting sleep as much as you discuss with concern the possible effects on you doing your job.  Your stated position is that you want to be able to do a good job, and are concerned (for the company's sake) that you will not be anywhere near able to, if you are working nights, as long as your sleep is this interrupted.  Stress to the boss that this is going to be for a relatively short time, not more than a few months, but that right now, it is a real problem.  Bosses are more amenable to someone telling them a problem if it looks like they are trying to be careful for the company's sake, not for their own, even if this isn't true (LOL), and they are much more open to something like this if it has an end point.  If the boss is not sympathetic, I'd look for another job.

[Crritter]

Thanks for your kind words and thoughts.  I love my job, but am going to see how bad it is with the scheduling as it is hard for my husband to get off in time to pick up more than once a week.  They have been great so far and I only worked one night a week before which was nice for the guys.  I don't think they understand, but they try.  None of them are married except the barely there part timer and they see the evening shift as a nice break since it's slow and not stressful.  Plus they go out after and can sleep in.  I have to work a token evening to offset the fact that I barely work a weekend, maybe 5 in the last year.  I love them so much but am not sure how to handle the next few months.

[anxiousmomtobe?]

You will get through this.  You are a strong capable woman and you will marshall the inner resources you need to make it through.  I promise.

[Crritter]

My son is on Prevacid too, helped alot!  I'm not as worried about interrupting my lack of sleep at night, but working late then getting up for the early shift does bother me.  I'm so worried about DH, but I think I will talk to them about it and the next few months.  Maybe they didn't quite get what I was saying.  They have been very caring and gracious about this.  The only reason I'm stuck working a night shift is to show fair scheduling.  I'm really the only one who likes and wants the days (you run your butt off and are in early).  We had another pregnant girl who requested certain shifts and we worked around her.  She was kinda crazy but we hoped it was hormones.  She came back and complained that she was treated as the second favorite and everything revolved around my pregnancy and not hers and I got a better schedule because they liked me more.  She ended up leaving after a little while back and is still going after the company, so they have to be careful.  It sucks because she wrote her own hours etc.  We thought from the start that she was looking for a lawsuit.  ( Really who slams their own race?  She was so excited that her baby looked white, we all steered clear of that one.)  She tried the racial card, but could not get anyone to walk into her comments.  She tried the woman card, but didn't work 'cuz we had no guys at our place, not even the boss.  The pregnancy card did not work either 'cuz there were 3 of us at the time.  So I guess she claims the store set their hours to what I wanted to work, seriously she said that.  Here I am due any day and coorperate is coming down to investigate my treatment.  They were able to see her requests for scheduling etc. so I have no idea what else she has to fight about, but I think that's why I am still working  a night a week.  Talk about stress.  She even filed a complaint that nobody acknowledged her when she had her baby and nobody came to see her.  They sent her flowers and she had 6 people visit her and we all called her (small dept., that's most of the people).  I was quick to point that out to the people investigating to show she was lying.  The people that went to see her were pissed.  She even tried to call me after she left to see what was being said about her, I guess she thought I would not find out what she was saying about me.  She even tried to call me after I had my baby.  I have not talked to her to try to avoid any more problems.  Because of her mess we were all on edge, nobody came to see me or even call me in the hospital and no gifts or flowers were sent.  They called me as soon as I was home and have stopped by with gifts and cards and just to say hi, but have to really watch their butts.  I guess I'm upset that I'm stuck working crappy nights because of a psycho too.  Thanks gals for letting me vent.  I'll try to talk with my boss and see what happens after the first night shift back.  I don't care if it's an easier shift, it's hard for me to be away at that hour.

[Crritter]

I know you gals are right, I'll be fine, did this before.  Poor DH, but he'll be okay and maybe appreciate me more, maybe I should feel sorry for poor little guy.  My friend next door will be home and I have already asked her to check on them and maybe take the bigger one (her littlest one is a year older than him).  I'm gonna try to not think about this anymore and go enjoy the rest of the afternoon with my boys.  One is sleeping (finally) and the other is playing cars while the cat sits in the middle of it all begging for attention, poor kitty, he's resorted to hanging out with the kid!  At least he plays too, he bats at the cars, kinda cute, but I better go hug him, he's desparate!

[peekawho]

A lot of women who are mothers find out that nights really does work out well for a lot of reasons.  I've done it for almost 30 years.  I hate the day shift.