trying to conceive after delivery

[nermine]

i lost my baby girl at 36 weeks pregnant on may 7, 2007. i delivered a full term baby with a c- section. she was great unless the umbelical cord was tied and she couldn't have enough oxygene and nutriments. now it has been one month.
the bleeding stopped  completly after 10 days, then on the 23rd day, i had a bleeeding like a regular period, it last for 5-7 days, my mom told me that it might be a regular period. then i had a very thick and sometimes bloody discharge, today after 1 month i am having a little pain one one side of my lower abdomen i can't wait to get pregnant again after my loss and i think that will help my pain that my loss cause to heal. my question are:
1- is it possible that i can get pregnant before 6 weeks?
2- is there any danger to have sex 2 weeks after delivery?
3- when my uterus will began to ovulate again?
4- is it danger to take medication to loose weight at this time, and will that affect my chance to get pregnant again.

[pertykitty]

first let me say i am so deeply sorry for your loss. with the weight loss question no dont take meds for that if you are wanting to concieve. its unhealthy should you become pg. i think after a c section you need to let your body heal so you can be as healthy as you need to be. i had a c section and it takes time for the tissue to completly heal. these are really great questions for your dr. while you might get some great answers here, they are medical and need a dr for appropriate replies. if i  had a loss like this i think i could benefit from some counseling, maybe consider this. take care of healing your body and mind.

[nermine]

thank you, the problem is that i don't care no more about my self, it is really hard to loss your baby when it is a full baby, she was 7 pounds and 19 inches. that is why i want her back what ever happen to me, and the only way is to get pregnant again. do you know when my body can start ovulating again. and if you know any counselar that can help me with the pain in my heart after my loss please give it to me, i am very sad and always upset and always cry for nothing. i wish there is a site like this that i can talk with mothers who has the same problem

[pertykitty]

i know there are sites for mothers with losses. i hope tomarrow when people are up someone will suggest this. you know we have a poster here that is starting that exact type of group. address this personally here to thendricks. she will be able to answer questions and maybe have some offerings of help.

[AnnieBrooke]

Honey, that is such a tragedy to lose your child in those circumstances (or any circumstances).  I am so very very sorry.  I think your idea of getting into a group dealing with loss is very good.  Call the hospital where you delivered, and ask the nurses for the name of a social worker on staff who would know about this.  There will be some kind of group.  Maybe one of the ladies who posts on this forum will also know how to find one.

About trying to conceive right away ... first of all, you need to heal.  You need to heal some in your heart (although you will never forget, you need to stop the most aching pain), and also VERY important, you need to heal your body.  If you had a c-section, that is a cut in your uterus, and all those muscles need to mend back together before the uterus goes again through the stretching and tension it will go through with another pregnancy.  Talk to your doctor.  If you don't have a regular doctor, find one now, and if finances are the issue, there are places that offer reproductive help on a sliding scale based on your income.

Again, please accept my deepest condolences for the loss of your beloved child. May she be a star in the sky that guides you through your life.

[ajemmom]

I am so sorry.  I know there is really nothing anyone can say that will take away the pain.  Since you had a c-section, your body does need time to heal.  If you get pregnant too soon after a c-section and all of your incisions haven't healed completely, you could have potential problems with that pregnancy.  Just talk to your doctor.  He/she can give you advice and probably even recommend a good grief counselor.  Again, I am so sorry this has happened to you.  You are in my prayers.

[lynne1276]

I am so sorry that this happened to you.  Where do you live?  I'm sure they have counceling in your area for this.  You said in your post that you don't care about yourself and you are crying over nothing.  You are not crying over nothing.  This is probably the most tramatic experience a mother could ever go through.  Its an experience that nobody should have to go through.  Its my personal biggest fear.  I agree with the others, you need to heal your body first.  Most importantly you need to heal emotionally.  I know that the pain will never go away but it will lessen with time.  
There aren't any words that any of us can say to make it better, just know that we are all here if you need to talk.
Take care

[anxiousmomtobe?]

I am so sorry for your loss.  You need to give yourself time to grieve this little one in heaven.  You cannot replace her with a new baby, it just doesn't work that way.  

It is important that you let your body heal before you get pregnant again, not doing so could greatly impact the health of the next child you conceive.

Please listen to all the kind advice given above.

[chellybeans]

the recommendation is to wait a year after a c-section to allow the incision site to heal fully. if not you run the risk of the surgical site or uterus rupturing.

also if you are ttc, then weight loss drugs are a big no no. they do affect fertility and can harm the baby before you find out you are pregnant. instead take your vitamins and folic acid just like usual and change your diet and exercise to lose weight.

i am deeply sorry you had to go through such a loss, but after that i would wait. having a new pregnancy soon after a loss is very difficult and scary. give your mind, body and heart time to mend first

take care

[have 2 kids]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.    I've always heard to wait at least a year to become pregnant after having a c-section to give your uterus time to heal.  This will help so you won't have a uterine rupture.  
Try calling the hospital and the social workers could give you names of support groups or counselors.  I'm surprised they didn't talk to you in the hospital.
You will never forget your little one but I hope soon your heart can began healing.   Perhaps doing something to remember her will help.  
Such as:
stepping stone for flower garden
charm bracelet
tree  

[lovefamily]

I am so sorry that you are going through this.  I understand the need to have another baby inside you with the anticipation of holding that little one is all that comsumes you.  Grief is a very hard thing and each person has to walk that grief out the best they can.  It's like a pilgrimage.  In Nov. 2005 my 12 year old was killed in an accident.  Sept. of 2006, I had a miscarriage.  So I know what grief is like.  Nothing hurts worse than the loss of a child.  That baby was part of you.  If you want to tell us about her, please feel free to do so.  We would love to hear what you named her and what she looked like.  Like you, after my 12 year old went to heaven I just felt like giving up.  I didn't care about myself.  I just wanted to lay down and die too.  It's only been a year and a half.  I still cry almost daily, but something else has happened....I smile some too.  I am now 28 weeks pregnant.  God is blessing me with another child.  I am now 41 and we didn't think we could have more.  This baby can never take the place of my son, but will give me someone to invest my time and love into.  I need that, my arms and heart have felt so empty.  So, I understand the need to want to conceive again right away.  Just make sure you get the all clear from your doctor.  With all that you have been through, you don't need the emotional upheaval of a miscarriage.  I can tell you that with time your body will heal.  The heart takes longer.  People say time heals.  I say, time teaches you how to cope.  You will never forget her and no matter how many days, months, or years pass you will always think of your baby.  May God give you peace and strength.  Your little one isn't here now but she is still alive in heaven just like the two that I have there.  That gives me peace to know that I will see him again.  Bless you.

[nermine]

i am so sorry for your loss, it is very hard, i csn't believe how life can be that much unfair. i can't imagine myself in your shoes, it is very good that you now have your new baby, and hope that every thing will be ok with you. trust me you are a very strong women, because if i were in your place i don't now how misrebale my life will be. i am 20 years old, and that baby was every thing for me, she related her mommy and daddy more, and went to a place where she can find more peace, i know she is happy up there but i miss here so much. i wake up in the middle of the night check out the nursery in her sweet pink and white room, with her clothes and cry for hours and hours. god bless you and your 2 angel in heaven, and you will see them again. as you told me i am too here to listen to you whenever you want. i know that you always want to talk about your pain.

[Soni58]

Is there any reason for the umbelical cord tied around the babys neck causes death of the baby .... i had the same thing hapening 2 my baby in 38 weeks .. my baby was normal and was 8 pounds ... i had a c-section am 23 years old and it ws my first baby ... plzz tell me if there is any reason for that so i can avoid it for next time ...