Member Comments are provided by individuals and reflect their personal opinions only. Under NO circumstances should you act on any advice or opinion posted in this forum. ALWAYS check with your personal physician before taking any action regarding your health! MedHelp International and our partners, sponsors and affiliates have no obligation to monitor any comments posted on this site, or the content and/or accuracy of such exchanges. MedHelp International does not endorse the views of any user.
Men's Health Community
This patient support community is for discussions relating to men's health, cancer, circumcision, erectile dysfunction (ED), hair loss, impotence, infertility, parenting, penis disorders, prostate, relationships, STD's, testicular disorders, and vasectomy.
Do Men With Low Sex Drive Still Enjoy Sex In The Moment?
by frustrated189, Nov 11, 2006 12:00AM
My boyfriend has a long history of low libido but when we do have sex his body stills responds - he gets aroused, seems to enjoy the moment and ejaculates. My greatest fear though is that he is only having sex for my sake - that though his body responds, in his mind he is just "going through the motions". Do men with low libido still enjoy sex once they get going? Is it common for them to orgasm? I've discussed this with him and asked him to not do things he doesn't want to - that this hurts me more than not being interested. Still, I am never sure and it bothers be greatly. Any adivce or similar experience to share?
body is responding to the pleasure of sex, his mind should be
as well, stands to reason right. and does he love you ?
l.e.
In trying to research low libido in men I've come across passages regarding men who just sleep with their wives/girfriends for the sake of the relationship, out of obligation and as a marital "duty". Apparentally physical desire is not as linked to mental desire as I thought.
I find this concerning to say the least. That seems like lying to me. I want to be able to trust that my partner does and says what he means. You don't want to put yourself out there and be vulnerable with someone who's putting on an act.
I appreciate your feedback lief.
Any comments and insights welcome.
just a girl thing. so this may be a rare moment where it's
just a guy thing, and it's not about you. but i'm confused by
your telling me he enjoys the sex when it happens and he loves you. so he just nevers "starts" the sex ? he just does it when
YOU start it ? odd ! is he just inexperienced and scared of
not being able to get you turned on, or knowing how too ?
what does he say about it ? you have talkekd about this right ? l.e.
THERE FORE WE ONLY HAVE SEX WHEN HE IS IN THE MOOD MAY BE 2TIMES IN THREE WEEKS.
At first i thot it was a libido problem but alas coz he has 3 girl friends whom he sleeps eith and i have evidence.
what can i do caz am young and need sex
I sincerly hope it helps you and your man have a stronger and more happy/fufilling relationship, and i wish you both the best of luck!
Try doing spontanious things, and new things that might interest him and get him "horny"..
Maybe one night when he is sitting there watching TV or somthing, go into the bedroom and put on somthing REALLY sexy.
Come out stand in front of him and start stripping it off slowly in a sexy way or somthign to that effect, maybe some dirty talk.
If that dosent do the trick, then be creative and think of other methods ..
For me, If i am phisicly attracted to a girl and she makes any sexual passes at me i am instanly horny! I think that is normal to..
Hope that helps.
Ryan
Do not be shy, men love it when the girl is purely confident in here sexuality, we feed off of that beacuse it shows you are sexualy attracted to us , and in turn makes us do the same..
Before marriage, all was great but I knew I could always go back to my place and be me. Same for her. After "I do" some self imposed responsibilities took priority - and also fears.
Its true that "stage fright" occurs even with your deepest love, fear of it happening again feeds the condition. Ridicule, anger and humiliation from your spouse (normal) & not meeting her needs (dissapointent, expectations,etc.) is even worse to my pleasure center.
That little voice - "why try?, "looser", "your doomed" - keeps joy at bay.
And maybe its not so much to control or punish your spouse (as suggested by experts), could it be I am punishing myself in some bent pentenant manner.
Some of use are middle aged - used to be tigers - beat with the great club of life and respond to a different healing method than riding a motor cycle and singing "Niagra". I want to hide when those ads come on the tube - just opens the wounds again and gives false hope to the wife.
I'd have brain surgery if it would help! Honest, sometimes I feel a big fat life insurance check for her would be more loving.
Do they make a brain stem that can reset your desire like a reboot ?
The economy, severe stress (it don't stay at work), savings, retirement, "whats your weekend schedule?", hide your toys and don't have too many, GOD! what if I live !
Everybody does better than you. Everybody else has a good husband.
After 80 hr work weeks and ruptured discs in you neck (that must be fake) you'd think I would be smart enough to solve this problem - of course physics tells me - its all in my head.
After all , they shoot horses don't they?
I am in a fading relationship because I have a low sex drive AND I can't keep it hard enough for penetration, and even in the one or two times that I did keep it hard enough, it went soft as I was ejaculating in her.
As a guy with low libido, I can honestly say that we don't initiate the sex, but when it is initiated, we enjoy it. Unfortunately, in my situation, I have impotence issues as well, so I'm screwed. But for those who don't have impotence issues, then who cares about a low sex drive. Women have low sex drive issues all the time, and men don't complain that they feel "unloved" or "unattractive". Women read waaaaay too much into a male's low drive, and assume it's them. TRUST ME, it's not you. It's just the way he is, and you have to accept that. He doesn't love you any less, and he definitely enjoys it when he blows up inside you. You just have to trigger it by initiating the sex, that's all. It's no big deal.
My girlfriend, on the other hand, not only initiates the sex, but ends up with a soft **** almost every time. Think about how she must feel.
Just be very happy to be able to have sex on a basis. Don't focus too much on nothing.
>into the bedroom and put on somthing REALLY sexy.
>Come out stand in front of him and start stripping it off slowly in a sexy
>way or somthign to that effect, maybe some dirty talk.
>If that dosent do the trick, then be creative and think of other
>methods ..
If I was him, no way to turn me on with such methods. I am much more easy and much more difficult at the same time in this, always in the benefit of my girl, but it makes little sense to go on to a more personal talking at this point.
You may be mistaken about that. I think it depends on the case. There are men who don't have desire without first having an emotional background in a relationship. I am such a case. Girls that catch generally the attention of the male population (sorry, I have no percentages to make things concrete) "say" nothing to me. They can play some role in phantasies, when I am disconnected from reality, but not in real world without mental/psychic contact. If I don't have communication in this level, any contact with the other sex would work in a way not much different from what we know in mammals. And this I don't want it.
Maybe it's just me. Maybe there are many others like me. I don't know.