Member Comments are provided by individuals and reflect their personal opinions only. Under NO circumstances should you act on any advice or opinion posted in this forum. ALWAYS check with your personal physician before taking any action regarding your health! MedHelp International and our partners, sponsors and affiliates have no obligation to monitor any comments posted on this site, or the content and/or accuracy of such exchanges. MedHelp International does not endorse the views of any user.
HIV, Living With Community
|
boyblue/lizzy lou
by sunnygirl79, Apr 16, 2007 12:00AM
hi boyblue, hiv is new to me by about two weeks. i was reading a post to lizzy where you mention NO sex - really? i'm sure that is a personal choice and for me, i can't imagine having sex right now - it's certainly the last thing on my mind and will be for quite some time - but, really? if it's safe sex with a partner who is informed, it's safe, right?
how do people with hiv develop new relationships - romantic ones? i don't want to be alone, but finding someone who'll accept me as i am - won't that be difficult? i know i'm being negative...it's just one of those days.
how do people with hiv develop new relationships - romantic ones? i don't want to be alone, but finding someone who'll accept me as i am - won't that be difficult? i know i'm being negative...it's just one of those days.
Post Comment
Hope you are doing well...Let me first start off by saying I am sorry to hear of your recent diagnosis with being HIV Positive. BELIEVE ME when I say it gets easier to deal with as time goes on- I think back 7 years ago when I was first diagnosed; for a good year it was all I thought about- it was THE FIRST THING ON MY MIND when I woke up in the morning and the last thought I had in my head before I past out from mental exhaustion. It truely does get easier to deal with- I know every one is different- some people deal a lot easier than others. Anyway If you don't mind me asking- you do not have to answer- have you gotten your counts yet? Do you have a Dr that specializes in HIV treatment?- Again as I said to Lizzie it is important to find a good Dr who is KNOWLEGEABLE with HIV, and not just any Dr.
So the answer to your post, about the sex..the reason I said NO SEX is becuase I am in a 10 year relationship- I was being funny- you know how people in LONG term relationships always say the sex stops...LOL...
As far as having sex- of course you can have sex- you just need to protect yourself (as to not get re-infected) there are MANY different strains of HIV- and as to not infect anyone else.
About being HIV positive and meeting/dating new people- me and a friend of mine (who is also HIV +) just had this conversation the other night- How do you handle that situation ?? I mean you don't want to tell someone you just meet yea hi I am HIV +, and there is no "chemistry" and now this total stranger knows you are + , you don't knwo who they are going to tell..but on the other side of it lets say you don't tell themon the first/second date and there is chemistry,you have several dates and finally tell them- are they gonna freak out on you because you didn't tell them sooner??? God I think it's a personal choice, and up to the individual. I wish I could give you advice on what is the best way to handle it- I was fortunate (for lack of a better word) because my partner and I were together for 3 years before we found out so there was no having to disclose this info to a new partner ....
So for the most part how are you hanging in there??? I know you do not know me, but please feel free to ask me anything, or if you just need to talk I am here to listen..BE STRONG- your mental well being will carry you a long way... this is not the end of the world...
J from Long Island
Ah, relationships. It's hard enough to find a good person but getting this diagnosis doesn't make it easier. I know this may come off as cheezie but their are some really great sites to meet other people who are positive, not necessarily dating but meeting new people. Poz.com has a great site,.......I love to read their blogs because I know that I'm not alone in my day to day struggles. There is also positivesingles.com which is geared toward all the stds. I hope this helps alittle. Like I said, its hard enough finding the right person for some people.
I have been reading the posts and yours really stood out. I am new to this site. I was trying to find other post you had in the past, but I couldn't find many. I wish you could have had better knews. I'm sure that goes without saying though. I was wondering if I could ask how you knew you may have become HIV+ prior to the tes confirming it? Did you have any illness after exposure? Did you know the person you were sleeping with was positive? If so, was transmission was an accident despite efforts to be have safer sex? I am just wanting to understand / learn more. Thank you, and I hope I wasn't too personal on here.
thanks for the info on relationships and sex...and not that i'm looking for either right now, but it's certainly crossed my mind. i guess who ever i meet will accept me for who i am and will accept my situation for what it is as well. i'll have to trust that. when you and your partner found out you were positive (is he positive?) was it hard for him to accept that? or was he supportive? my soon to be ex-husband does not know i'm positive - he only knows i was unfaithful...and couldn't even accept that. he'd probably fall over if he knew i had hiv.
i guess i'm hanging in there, i just have so much on my plate right now that i can't even think straight. i'm not sure where to put my energies or my focus. time will heal and i know that...i just wish i could fast forward through this first year.
i hope you're well...sunny
Hello again- how are ya hanging in there?? My partner and I are both positive and very supportive of eachother- you need supportive people around you. May I ask- if you do not mind .... you said that your soon to be ex- husband does not know... have you had sex with him since your exposure, if so you may want to tell him so he can get tested.. ok that's just my 2 cents..anyway I hope you are doing well...that's all for now, hope to chat again soon...and hang in there...
yes, i have been with my husband since my exposure...and because i am positive - he's been exposed. fortunately, he has been tested (because i was unfaithful and knows it wasn't protected) and is negative. since he is indeed negative and since we are indeed getting divorced, i don't feel like i need to tell him i'm positive. your thoughts? i guess i feel like i've done what i need to do for his health/safety.
anyway - such a mess...but we're dealing.
hope you're weekend was a good one - chat soon! sarah
Hey there..Hope your weekend was a good one- the weather is finally starting to get real nice here- IT'S ABOUT TIME...anyway- hope you didn't mind my question about your soon to be ex- if so I apologize... Yes I think you did the correct thing with your husband- I understand you not wanting to tell him you are positive- only question is; how long after your exposure was he tested - if about 6 months or sooner he should go again - to be safe ya know- my own personal advice is if you are with someone that tested positive than you should be tested 2 times in 1 year as to not go undetected...theres always that window/ incubation period...and again that's just my 2 cents again- well now it's 4 cents all together..lol
I feel for you having to go through 2 emotional situations at 1 time- it must be very hard to cope at times...it sometimes amazes me just how strong we can be- just when you think you can't take another day of bullshit and stress- you always seem to find the strenght and do it for another day, and then another.
I also think that it is important to realize that you are going to have bad days and need to accept them as they come- it helps the soul to heal- people that keep **** in and don't deal with their emotions, or act like nothing is wrong are doing themselves harm with out even realizing it...so on your bad days, just go with the flow and allow yourself to feel the hurt, stress...whatever and just know that every bad day is a bad day that's behind you, I know I've said it before but trust me dealing with HIV does get easier as time goes on..if you don't mind me asking your age..just curious, and also whare from ? You don't have to answer..hope to hear back soon..hang in there ..