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Journal Entry: "One of the greatest threats to your eyes ..." [Read]
, Jul 21, 2007 12:00AM
Hello Shippie2 There is a big difference between 'shrugging off' something that can be fixed and physicians having to deal with something that can't be fixed. Medicine would be a great job if we had an answer and a cure for all that ails mankind. Such will never be our lot in this life. However we can and obviously are doing more each year.
I regret that I cannot offer you more hope, perhaps I have given you more of an understanding of your husbands likely insurmountable visualVisual acuity test problems.
Shippie, I can really understand the deep-seated need to have a doctor just TALK STRAIGHT to you and directly address your questions or concerns. I have had odd undiagnosed symptoms for several years (once having a neurologist tell me I had MS). I came to realize that doctors don't have all the answers and that sometimes they have done all they can for you. But what the patientKidney diet - dialysis patients needs in that case is a straight assessment, an open discussion, of where you're at and where you go from here.
I can accept uncertainty, I can accept "you just have to live with it," I can accept the possibility that I have a serious disease or that I DON'T have a serious disease. What I can't accept is being made to feel like I'm just anxious or bothersome for asking questions because I want straightforward INFORMATION or OPINION, as opposed to patronizing lectures, pats on the backBack pain - low Back strain treatment, evasion, ambiguity, unexplained flip-flops, or avoiding answering the question that I actually asked or avoiding discussingDiscussing death with children symptoms directly.
You want to know, what should I do now? And you need straightforward information or opinions to help you make that decision, instead of being left HANGING, on your own. I am sure most doctors have the best intentions and are trying to do their best by their patientsKidney diet - dialysis patients with very limited time, but it's excruciating to feel that you can't talk to your doctor without fearFears and phobias of being brushed off, when a few straightforward comments or advice can go such a long way toward letting you go home feeling settled, relieved, and confident on going forward.
The doctor on this forum is doing a wonderful job of providing information; I have learned so much from reading here. I wish all doctors would be so forthcoming!
Thank you for your comment, NancyT. Apparently it's not just physicians who make this site so valuable. The resonnance I felt reading about your situation helped me feel connected, that I am not the only resident in this crazy State. That means so much to me. Stick with it and keep finding ways to deal with all the unknowns. Bless you.
Now your answer is straight and to the point; and I appreciate deeply your kindness to share those thoughts with me. I'm my husband's guide in this, and you've let me know where the trees are. Am I going to whack him with a hard heart and this new-found insight? Not on your life. But I will lead him through the maze till he arrives at his own understanding.
Yes, I realize his coping skills will "make up" some of the difference between last week and this one, and that it will take time to achieve that new equilibrium. And I will be there to celebrate every accomplishment along the way. I suggested to him that the map in his head is just crumpled for now and he understood. If I understand your advice, the path is only straight ahead with no shortcuts. So we'll go that way. Thank you again, for your honesty and for not treating us like children.
I can accept uncertainty, I can accept "you just have to live with it," I can accept the possibility that I have a serious disease or that I DON'T have a serious disease. What I can't accept is being made to feel like I'm just anxious or bothersome for asking questions because I want straightforward INFORMATION or OPINION, as opposed to patronizing lectures, pats on the back, evasion, ambiguity, unexplained flip-flops, or avoiding answering the question that I actually asked or avoiding discussing symptoms directly.
You want to know, what should I do now? And you need straightforward information or opinions to help you make that decision, instead of being left HANGING, on your own. I am sure most doctors have the best intentions and are trying to do their best by their patients with very limited time, but it's excruciating to feel that you can't talk to your doctor without fear of being brushed off, when a few straightforward comments or advice can go such a long way toward letting you go home feeling settled, relieved, and confident on going forward.
The doctor on this forum is doing a wonderful job of providing information; I have learned so much from reading here. I wish all doctors would be so forthcoming!
Best of luck to you and your husband,
Nancy T.