Wife has bumps

[david444]

I'm a married man...been with my wife for 9 years total.  In that time, I made a few mistakes that I wholeheartedly regret.  I had condom protected sex with a few escorts at bachelor parties and a massage parlor.

I was recently tested negative for HIV and syphillis.  But I know that condoms don't fully protect against herpes and warts/hpv.



I recently noticed a skin colored painless bump in my pubic hair region, with a hair through it.  You can only notice it by touch, not sight and it has gotten smaller over the last 6-7 weeks.  I noticed another smaller one on the other side of my pubic region that is now gone.  Could these be warts?  No cauliflower signs at all.  



Also, my wife reported seeing a small cluster of bumps on her outer vagina.  No pain, some feelings of a possible yeast infection, but unlikely.  



I was too scared to ask more detailed questions for obvious reasons.  She said they could have been there for years and never noticed, because she happened by chance to check closer this time.



I am scared that I gave her warts and or hpv.  I have no signs on my penis at all.  I compulsively check.  



1) Do I have to tell her the truth? and potentially risk the marraige?

2) Could her cluster of bumps be something else besides an STD? and if so, what are the other possibilities?

3) If I had no visible symptoms of warts, could she develop warts?

4) Could she or I have had warts before we met, and then given it to each other then?  I know they can resolve on their own and then reemerge years later right?



I look forward to your suggestions.  I know you cannot diagnose her bumps or mine, but I would appreciate any help.  I have lost days of sleep over this.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Everything that can cause a skin bump anywhere on the body can do so in the pubic or genital area:  cysts, fibromas, skin tags, various kinds of nodular dermatitis.  Plus a whole bunch of things, I'm sure, that I cannot think to mention; that's a better question for a dermatologist than for me.  Genital warts usually occur on the genitals proper, not the pubic area.



1) Relationship counseling is definitely not my thing.  But from an STD transmission standpoint, there is no reason to tell her anything unless/until one of you has a professional diagnosis of genital warts or another STD.  Definitely don't assume what you have without professional evaluation.



2) Yes, see above.



3) In general, HPV usually is transmitted by people who do not know they are infected.  Most infections with the wart-causing HPV types (e.g., HPV-6 and 11) cause visible warts, but many do not.



4) It isn't common, but yes, warts can recur years after they are first acquired.  If your wife turns out to have warts, in theory it could be reappearance of a prior infection of her own, or recent acquisition of your late-recurring infection.  But it's a stretch, and I don't suggest counting on this as your notification strategy if it turns out one of you has genital warts.  But most likely that's not the problem.  



Good luck--  HHH, MD

[Beams]

There are so many NON-STD things the bumps could be, shaving or chemical irritation, sweat, oil glands, and none of them are a result of sexual contact.  Your wife should see here gynecologist if she is concerned.  As to your bump, it sounds more like an inflamed follicle or plugged oil gland than anything else.  Let your Dr. look if you are concerned.  Penis pimples are relatively common.  



Now get some sleep.

[david444]

Dr HHH

Just to add, she had her last pap smear in december and all was normal.

[somewhatrelieved]

I do not believe that GW have hairs growing through the middle of them.  Sounds like something else. I personally would not spill my guts until you have confirmed with a dermatologist that they are warts but it doesn't sound like they are.

[nsns]

If you care about her don't tell her anything, Deni, Deni, Deni! Making yourself feel better by spilling your guts would just make her feel like ****! Trust me they do not want to know if you have been screwing around. I have many woman friends who's husbands come clean and they all say I wish he never told me!

[david444]

Thank you Doctor,



Sorry, just to clarify and help me sleep better, considering I have always used condoms, how likely is it that her "hardly noticeable" small cluster of bumps is really Genital warts?  Also, wouldn't they clear up on their own before her next GYN appt in December?  Considering all the other possibilities out there, aren't my changes pretty good that she's ok?



We've all been to bachelor parties where the groom to be is given one last night with an escort.  I've been to handful of parties like that myself.  Wouldn't warts or herpes be transmitted to wives more frequently? Or maybe we just don't hear about it.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

The risk seems low that your wife's bumps are warts, but that's only a guess.  I can't say more.



The risk of catching an STD from any single episode of sex is low.  In other words, patterns of sexual behavior over time are much better predictors of STD risk than single events.  But I'm sure you're right, that some women acquire STDs from their husbands as a result of bachelor party exposures.



HHH, MD