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MedHelp Member's Question

No feeling while sex

by Silverdusky, Jul 08, 2005 12:00AM
Got I little problem what really gets on my nervs as you can emagine. I never had any feeling during having sex ever...

Its just like its dead inside, have a very painfull menstruation every month to, but taking hormons help...



can any body help me with my problem? Went to a female doctor and she said every thing is ok, but how can everything be ok?



Thanks



silverdusky
Member Comments (22)

by oceans3, Jul 08, 2005 12:00AM
i guess that would pose a problem but a few questions first. do you "please" yourself and if you do how does it feel then? also, are you with someone you love/significant other? or do you have more than one partner? Are you specifically talking about not being able to have an orgasam during sex? or no matter what you and your partner are doing, there is no arousal?



sometimes, if you are hesitant,shy, embarrassed, that can hinder any sexual feelings. also, if things in a relationship are not good emotionally, chances are they won't be good sexually either. maybe try to show/tell him what you like or feels good. this may be uncomfortable to tell him but usually the guy will want to please you and doesnt mind when you suggest things. (probably wants to be told). try to picture something in your mind that may help you get aroused. if things dont feel good, like if you are dry, use some ky jelly or even natural oils like almond oil to help make things more comfortable. start things slowly, lots of foreplay and dont feel like even if you are fooling around it has to lead to sex. thats too much pressure. just enjoy the little things first.

may need more info/details from you in order to help a little bit better. you sound sad.

by Silverdusky, Jul 11, 2005 12:00AM
To: CI
We'll I'm in a relationship and my boyfriend knows everything, told him that from th start. He tries to help.

But I n my opinion an external orgasem is a facke one and only last 3 sec. and i really dont't like it.



Even when I think of it it makes me sick, i got to the point where i hate sex. I do it just for him because I dont get anything off it. Never felt anything....



I could read a book during that... quite fustrating for my relationship.



I really dont know what to do... everytime I go to a doc with some female problem, seems like they dont want to help...



I got to the point, because I ve such a bad period I ve to take birth control other wise I have such pain, and I get a blackout to start the period plus pain...

and the docs said thats the way it is...



So, i dont really like docs anymore..



Thanks



by oceans3, Jul 11, 2005 12:00AM
there are so many factors that can hinder any sexual feelings. medications can have side effects, emotional feelings, atmosphere, children around, stress, if you are tired/exhausted..only you know what that may be. you mentioned being on some hormones for your painful periods, i wonder if taking those is decreasing your sex drive? you said that even when you think of sex, it makes you sick. not to get personal, but did something happen in the past to make you feel this way? there was an earlier post about estrovin, maybe you should look into it. however, if something happened to you in the sexual dept. you should seek the help of a therapist. otherwise, the problem will stay. i know that i lost an interest after having my little one and i think we did it twice in a year. i simply had NO interest, tired, timing wasnt right, whatever the reason. then i just went ahead with it one night(after he approached me). to be honest, it was very uncomfortable, i was shy and not into it at all. we did it again on another night and it got better. i think we met our "quota" for the year. i hope you find the answers you are looking for and find a dr. that you are comfortable w. and can take the time to answer you concerns because you are right, it can take a toll on any relationship. glad your guy is supportive.

by oceans3, Jul 11, 2005 12:00AM
sorry, the herbal supplement to help with sexual desire is "estravil"

by sweets1217, Jul 11, 2007 06:24PM
To: Silverdusky
I have the same problem i have been with my husband for eight years and at first i just pretended to to *** to make him happy then we got into a fight one day and it just came out  ever since that he feels bad that i cant cun during sex and he hates that i have to use a sex toy to *** and i cant even *** when he fingers me and yes it fells good when he does that but i just cant *** no matter how good it feels or how bad i want to   but i have been to docs and your right they wont try or say anything to help they just blow me off like it is my fault and i am weird or something  it is like i am numb there and i hate it my husband tries different things but nothing helps  if you find out anything that seems to bring feeling there please let me know and i will do the same  we have a loving relationship and i dont have a bad period or anything i am just numb.  well good luck with everything

by Koderz, Aug 20, 2007 10:49PM
To: Anyone that could help!!!!
I have the same problem, me and my girlfriend was sitting here discussing how we have NO feeling during sex ever and we fake it all the time with our men. WHAT IS WRONG WITH US? For the guys, they are so into to it, but with us, we are just like laying there saying "omg, get this over with"!!!! Is there anyone that could tell us why, or is there something we can do to enhance our feeling down there? Please wb!!

by teacher43, Aug 21, 2007 07:31AM
Are you attracted to the person you are having sex with?  Is there anything that can spark your arousal?   Is it possible your sexual preference may not be a male? I know many people who felt it was right to be with a male. Many years later, some after a long marriage, realized they may  "love" their spouse but are not "in love" with their spouse.  If intimacy makes you so uncomfortable, it may be something you should consider.

by faithfullyburton88, Aug 21, 2007 10:11AM
To: Silverdusky
I have the same problem having sex. I love my boyfriend with all my heart and couldn't be more attracted to him, but I can't have an orgasm, or even get near to one by sex alone. I know it's not the ideal, but maybe try to reach orgasm before having sex..with foreplay with him. That way, until you can figure out what's going on with the sex with him, you'll at least feel pleasure right before he does...so maybe during sex you'll be more aroused. I read that somewhere and have been thinking about doing the same, since sex is so frustrating. Good luck. If all else fails, vibrator? lol.

by toby101, Sep 10, 2007 09:09AM
To: toby101
i have been having sex for nearly 2 years and it still doesnt feel good. im completely attracted and in love with my boyfriend but i cant enjoy sex with him. its driving me crazy, i hear all my girl friends talking about how great sex is with all diff men - not even ones they are in love with and i cant even enjoy it with my boyfriend. i think of things that arouse me during sex and still nothing, we try different positions and nothing. fore play is awesome but sex is numb, boring and sometimes painful. i always have to fake finishing so he will get it over with. isnt there some technique or medication to wake my vagina up. im sick of not getting any pleasure.

by toby101, Sep 10, 2007 09:12AM
To: toby101
i have been having sex for nearly 2 years and it still doesnt feel good. im completely attracted and in love with my boyfriend but i cant enjoy sex with him. its driving me crazy, i hear all my girl friends talking about how great sex is with all diff men - not even ones they are in love with and i cant even enjoy it with my boyfriend. i think of things that arouse me during sex and still nothing, we try different positions and nothing. fore play is awesome but sex is numb, boring and sometimes painful. i always have to fake finishing so he will get it over with. isnt there some technique or medication to wake my vagina up. im sick of not getting any pleasure.

by notsure85, Sep 10, 2007 09:47AM
ok ladies heres a suggestion have your man rub your G-spot. it is the most amazing orgasm ever. I have my man rub mine while i use a vibratoron my clit. (as many women I cannot achieve orgasm during sex but it is still amazing to have it during foreplay) he is probably just not touching you in the right places because i had the same problem untill i got with my boyfriend now. and oh my god my ex's could take some lessons. your man needs to take some time for foreplay to stimulate you and please you. if your man cannot reach your G-spot they make vibrators that do. Don't be afraid to use one they rock.

by tabi_jo, Sep 19, 2007 12:02AM
I have the same problem as all of you, but mine's worse! I can't feel ANYTHING, I get horny and wet, but I can't feel it when he fingers me, goes down or we have