Should I stay or leave?

[ally07]

Well my fiance and I have been together for almost two years. At first everything was wonderful, we had great communication. We were very open with one another and promised that we always would be. I admit things moved really fast between us. After two months of meeting, he moved in with me. After 2 and a half mos. he bought me an engagement ring. But I'm glad I didn't marry him right away b/c I started noticing that he's not who I thought he was. Recently we both started browsing on MySpace. I never really thought anything about it until one night I just know I saw him sending someone a message. I asked him about it and he said NO. But I know what I saw and didn't say anything else. So I decided to make a profile and send him a message posing as someone else. He eventually responded and was saying things like he was SINGLE, and looking, and also talking about me and our relationship like we had broken up. I was so shocked and didn't know what to do. When I finally confronted him about it, he couldn't do anything but laugh. He was BUSTED! He had the nerve to say nothing's wrong with telling people on myspace that he's single b/c 9 times out of 10, he'll never see these people. Which is totally not the point and unacceptable. It makes me wonder who else he's been chatting with and what he's telling them. I do believe he's still up to no good b/c I caught him again, but he doesn't know I saw it. What do I do about this?

[Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D.]

You know what you have to do. Get that lying unloving guy out of your life-right now! Why wouldn't you? Do you want someone who has pledged to marry you to be advertizing himself as single and looking for someone else. Why would you believe anything  or any explanation he gave you. He has already lied straight to your face!  

  You have caught him twice- if you are staying, you must have very low self esteem. I think you need to see a counselor and find out what makes you stay with someone so obviously unworthy. This isnt about him anymore-you know he's no good. Its about you and why you are making such a bad choice. You need help so that you don't ruin your life!

[shygirl1981]

So he's living in your place now? give him the boot!!! especially if it is your computer that he is doing this on. You asked him what was up, and he was caught dead in the water. This isn't good, especially not this early in. maybe if he'd had a decent explanation, you could let it slide this time. I dunno, I don't like the sounds of it. There is no way you can know everything about a person in a couple of months, and it should be NO surprise to you now that you are finding out some things you don't like. yes it is wrong for him to be telling people he's single, regardless of whether or not they are strangers on the net. if you're young, do you really want to throw the rest of your life away for this guy?! if he's a jerk, than I hope your answer is no. good luck!

[RockRose]

Yes,  leave.  Or make him,  whichever is easier.

[girl522]

You should definately leave him. There is no reason why he should be talking to other women online.  You know what would be really good way to end it?  Make another profile and start talking to him.  Then suggest you guys meet and show up.  Then end it there.  You will have complete proof and he will feel like an idiot.

[jojo24]

That's a great idea, girl522.  I think it's quite obvious what you should do, regardless as to how you are going to go about it.  He's no good and that's rude and disrespectful.  If he really cared about you he would have fessed up when he got caught.  Instead he lied to cover it up.  That's unacceptable.

[NataliesMommy]

I wouldnt waste anymore time on this bozo, dump his a**

[confused1031]

I have been in this same exact situation... I was with my b/f for 4 years and he moved in after us only being together for 2 months and then proposed 4 months later. The same thing happened with us and myspace and he gave the same excuse... I kept telling him that he needed to put his self in my place and how would he feel if I did the same thing.. i told him  a person can only take so much and it took my four years but i finally left him.. believe me it may be only myspace right now but those feelings of curiosity will lead him to the real thing sooner or later. Get out now before its too late.. TRUST ME!!

[ally07]

OMG you guys.....thank you so much!! You guys have been very helpful. I really needed this. I was really confused about what to do. I was even considering staying and working this out, but I already have trust issues and I dont see how it could work anyway. And I am only 23 yrs. old....I can do better!

[pixijal]

Yes, you can and WILL do better!  You have so much time, and you are very young...don't ever 'settle'.  If it is 'questionable' whether or not a commitment should be made, then the answer is NO!  Your wise, and you will do well...

[ally07]

Thanks So Much!

[jessicas]

leave the ***. he is not only doin this on myspace im a hundred percent sure hes cheatin on u girl. an honest person wouldnt play such games be it on the internet or anywhere else for that matter. so if hes being sneaky here he will be sneaky anywhere. do not trust this guy. leave him!

[GirlyGurlMommy]

Send him packing! You are young and Im sure there will be plenty more out there that are worth it..cause he isnt.