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Sexuality & Relationships  (Expert Forum)
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Sex position gives me really bad pains
Answered by
Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D. - Sexuality, family, Sexual Identity
This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.

Sex position gives me really bad pains

by MidnightFairy, Jan 29, 2007 12:00AM
Hi. I am a 22yr old female. I have come to notice that when I am having intercourse with my bf, it has become different. If he does it hard to me I get abdominal pains, but it becomes verybad when we do it "doggy style". The pain gets so bad that Ive had to go the the emergency room a couple of times. The pain is excruciating, It makes it really hard to move and hard tofind a comfortable position. I cant walk, my breathing becomes difficult. The pain slowly starts moving up towards my  chest, the pain last for about 3-4hrs. The times I went to the ER, they tell me all kinds of  different things like its a UTI,or it happens in young women like me,or its because of the period and blah blah. I know this pain isnt normal, but no1 is helping. My sex life isnt the same because of this. And my bf isnt big either, before this was happening everything was fine, now's its all of a sudden. Ive gotten  this pain about twice about 3years ago,and at that time when I went to my gyn, she said it was ovarian cyst, this time they say it isnt. Does any1 have an idea of what it might be? I would appreciate it. Thanks

by Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., Mar 17, 2007 12:00AM


   Strange. First of all, don't do it doggy style, don't do it in ways that bump up intensely against the cervix. Something is bothering you and you don't need  deep penetration sex. If your boyfriend cares for you- he should not want this to happen either. If he insists on doing it doggy style- get rid of him. He doesn't love you. Or even like you. He needs to want to be part of the solution and it is clear that you should not do deep penetration interourse. At least until you find out what was causing the problem. Period.

   An ovarian cycst does seem a likely problem. So does maybe some cervical problem. Or even an alergic reaction. Is he using latex or some kind of condom that is new that might cause a reaction? Are you using some new kind of birth control?  

    If I were you I would have a complete work up- looking a the structure of your cervix, uterus, ovaries, etc.. just anything that could be going wrong. I would do a check list of possibilities with a doctor and look at all of then. Meanwhile, and forever until you figure this out- do low penetration, highly lubricated intercourse and see if that does not cause you pain. Do missionary position with your legs straight and down ( not wrapped around him)  Do woman on top- you controlling degree of penetration that is comfortable. Or spoon position - back to front- so he doesn't get all the way up the vagina..

  Let me know how that works.
Member Comments (7)

by babylove2006, Jan 30, 2007 12:00AM
Is the pain in your back?

When my DH and I have sex (Doggy Style) I hurt in my back. My back muscles and my abdomin hurt too. I just take something for pain and it usually helps.  

by sparkeler, Jan 30, 2007 12:00AM
Sometimes certain positions may be uncomfortable or even painful but not serious or health threatening.  Have they ever suspected PID or Endometreosis?  I know that excruciating pain during sex can be a symptom of PID or endometriosis.  Do you only experience this horrible pain during doggystyle or with all positions?

by shishka, Jan 30, 2007 12:00AM
I also experience pain during intercourse. My doctor told me that it is endometriosis. They did find endo when I had ovarian cyst removed. It still hurts but not as bad as before. On my last OBG (Different one) appointment my doc was cheking with his finger and it was very painful. He said it is definitely endometriosis.

Good luck.

by MidnightFairy, Jan 30, 2007 12:00AM
Yea, well the pain is around my uterus area and slowly moves up to my sides and chest area, its weird, and its last about 3-4hours. And only happens when we do the doggy style position, or if he does me too hard if you know what I mean. But no, the docors in my area are useless. Now I currently dont have health insurance. But thanks for all your help, just wanted to find out what it might be. Thank you so much

by pertykitty, Jan 30, 2007 12:00AM
well going to the dr is your best bet. but since you say its out of the question, how about you dont do doggy for awhile. i know if i had pain as you described i certainly wouldnt.

by Trialanderror, Feb 03, 2007 12:00AM
Any position in which your cervix gets bumped too much could cause that, at least in a mild version. You did not say what type of birth control you are using if any. If it is the IUD, I can tell you they can increase that pain tremendously.
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