Member Comments are provided by individuals and reflect their personal opinions only. Under NO circumstances should you act on any advice or opinion posted in this forum. ALWAYS check with your personal physician before taking any action regarding your health! MedHelp International and our partners, sponsors and affiliates have no obligation to monitor any comments posted on this site, or the content and/or accuracy of such exchanges. MedHelp International does not endorse the views of any user.
Sexuality & Relationships (Expert Forum)
Depression Now
Answered by
Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D. - Sexuality, family, Sexual Identity
This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
Depression Now
by Questions123, May 28, 2007 12:00AM
42 year old male. Separated in 2003 - Divorced in late 2005 after 13 year marriage. She remarried a year ago. I had always felt somehow the relationship would end in divorce so maybe a self fulfilling prophecy. I have withdrawn from all contact with women/girlfriend for last 8/9 months. Last few months I have spiraled into a hopeless regret/depression about leaving my ex-wife. I guess I should get some "help" bt even that seems unintersting or pointless to me. To me my mistakes are seeming too serious to recover from, like derailing my marriage has cursed me or something. My life is characterized by apathy,regret,disinterestedness, guilt, shame. Do these feelings sound common?
Doctor's Answer
by Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., Jun 02, 2007 12:00AM
, Jun 02, 2007 12:00AM
Very common and very serious. It sounds like you are in a depression and that is a dangerous state of mind . I know you don't want to do anything but it's important that you do see a doctor. You have made the first right step by writing me. Now you need to follow up and go see a doctor who can help you get out of the dark mood that has enveloped you.
What you have to understand is that your brain is secreting chemicals that make everything feel hopeless. It is not hopeless- even though that is the only thing you are sure of. Your chemistry is off kilter and you need someone to help you feel better so you can think better- without the influence of the hormones that are making you feel so lousy,
Trust me, please. Even though we don't have a professional relationship and I am not a psychiatrist.
Depression is a disease state-but it can be cured,. You just have to overcome , even momentarily, your awful feelings that make you retreat from everyone. Go to your family physician or a therapist if you have one ( but you need one that can prescribe drugs) and describe how you feel. You should get some immediate treatment. There are a number of medications that can make you feel better pretyy quickly and then we can deal with your loss of a partner and how to get back into the world so that you can be happy -and yes, even romantic, again.
Please don't delay. Help isn't pointless... I promise you medicine and therapy can bring joy back into your life and you can see a future again-- believe me no mistake can't have a recovery- even if it is in a new direction that you haven't thought of yet.
Go see someone and then write me again and tell me more about yourself and perhaps we can think of ways that will help you move forward and not blame yourself over the past. All of us make mistakes in life and have regrets- that is life. But there is always unanticipated happyness in the future-- we just have to get ourselves stable again so we can reach out and grab it.
Member Comments (2)
by mwuh, May 29, 2007 12:00AM
yes, just take control. its normal to not get over all ur emotions.life goes on and u should make the best of it.i have been threw the same thing.its hard 2 let go no one said u have 2 stop thinking about her and she still might think about you= ] its okay just try to move on
