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Sexuality & Relationships (Expert Forum)
Not sure if I had an orgasm or not?
Answered by
Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D. - Sexuality, family, Sexual Identity
This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
Not sure if I had an orgasm or not?
by conf.gl, Jun 07, 2007 12:00AM
I have never had an orgasm before and had never really tried to work on it myself untill the other day. I stimulated myself to the point of shaking violently and then alot of fluid came out of my vagina, I think. The next day, still not sure if I peed myself or if I had an orgasm, I tried it again and everytime I got the feeling that I had the day before, I peed. I am so confused as to whether I actually had one or if I peed myself. I am so afraid now, even more so then before, to try with my bf because what if I pee on him, or even worse what if he's orally pleasing me and..., That would be so embarring. So, how do I know if I actually had an orgasm or not? And why do I pee during one if I am having one?
Doctor's Answer
by Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., Jun 10, 2007 12:00AM
, Jun 10, 2007 12:00AM
First of all, we need to know if you actually peed. Did it smell like urine? Or was it actually clear or whitish and sticky? If it was the later it was lubrication produced by excitement.
If you did pee, you may have relaxed your bladder when you were aroused. This is not unusual but obviously something you would like to have control over. If you learn how to flex your kegel muscles ( the same muscles you would use if you were trying to hold a stream of urine from coming) these muscles get stronger-- and you can use them not to pee at any time. If that proves unsuccessful, go see a gynecologist and see if there is any physical reason that causes you to pee.
Meanwhile, shaking , while a sign of arousal in some cases, is not an orgasm. An orgasm is intense pleasure, a spike of pleasure that may be experienced as as waves of intense feeling followed by a blissful feeling afterwards, a loss of sexual desire and sometimes sleep or complete relaxation. While you may have stimulated yourself to an intense reaction, it is not clear to me that you had an orgasm. Let me know if my description suits the experience you had.
Meanwhile, if you know your boyfriend well enough to have sex with him, you should be close enough to collaborate on having an orgasm and also letting him know that you are trying to deal with any other issues that come up while you are learning-- including the issue of possible urination. If he is worthy of you , he will understand and the two of you can work through excitation and orgasm together. Do talk to your doctor first , however, if you are sure you released urine instead of streams of lubrication. There may be a physical issue you have to deal with-- if not, don't be afraid of peeing all the time. You will definitely learn how to separate excitement from urination.
If you did pee, you may have relaxed your bladder when you were aroused. This is not unusual but obviously something you would like to have control over. If you learn how to flex your kegel muscles ( the same muscles you would use if you were trying to hold a stream of urine from coming) these muscles get stronger-- and you can use them not to pee at any time. If that proves unsuccessful, go see a gynecologist and see if there is any physical reason that causes you to pee.
Meanwhile, shaking , while a sign of arousal in some cases, is not an orgasm. An orgasm is intense pleasure, a spike of pleasure that may be experienced as as waves of intense feeling followed by a blissful feeling afterwards, a loss of sexual desire and sometimes sleep or complete relaxation. While you may have stimulated yourself to an intense reaction, it is not clear to me that you had an orgasm. Let me know if my description suits the experience you had.
Meanwhile, if you know your boyfriend well enough to have sex with him, you should be close enough to collaborate on having an orgasm and also letting him know that you are trying to deal with any other issues that come up while you are learning-- including the issue of possible urination. If he is worthy of you , he will understand and the two of you can work through excitation and orgasm together. Do talk to your doctor first , however, if you are sure you released urine instead of streams of lubrication. There may be a physical issue you have to deal with-- if not, don't be afraid of peeing all the time. You will definitely learn how to separate excitement from urination.
Member Comments (3)
by Cit.Gir, Jun 23, 2007 12:00AM
I can't say whether you have it or not... I think this feeling can't be unrecognized... There is one thing I want to say. There are different herbs and supplements which make women able to have orgasms. Have you tried them? I have tried Sentia, it helps. After the first week I have felt that I WANT sex more and more and after the second week I have felt vaginal orgasm.
by Mitch26, Aug 01, 2007 12:00AM
To: Anyone
While reading thru some of the topics in this forum, I can identify with the low sex drive, no desire and unsure of ever having an orgasm. I keep seeing Sentia pills come up. Anyone know where they can be purchased? Can I walk into a drug store and ask the parmacist?
