Worried sick about sexual orientation

[12334]

I have been worrying sick the past days about my sexual oriantation.I am 14 years old.I want to be straight thats one thing!But whenever I think about gayness I get all sweaty and sometimes I get errections for guys when I am worried.I don't want this.I utterly hate this.I am normally straight, I mean masterbate for woman and have feelings for women.But the past 4 years I go through phases in my life were I worried sickand causes me errections.Please do help. I want to be straight not thinking I am gay.

[Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D.]

    First of all, you can get erections for a lot of reasons and you can be sexually turned on occasionally with male imagery without being gay.  It sounds like you attracted to both men and women- and only time will tell which attraction will be the more compelling one.

   You might want to talk to a therapist about your feelings. He or she can reassure you and give you support as you find out more about your sexual orientation. Although you don't want to be gay you should understand that many people, including myself, think its no big deal who a person sexualizes-- the important thing is to find love and companionship in life.  If it continues to bother you though , make sure you talk to a therapist so you can hold on to your self esteem no matter what.  There are also many good books on homosexuality and sexual identity and I think doing some reading at your local library or book store would give you more information on your sexual interests and idenity.  Whatever you do-- don't jump to conclusions-and don't beat yourself up over this. Let it reveal itself over time and try and be as knowledgable as you can about what  attractions mean and how you can accept yourself and be happy- no matter what you turn out to be!

[12334]

please reply

[alpaca]

People really aren't solely attracted to one sex. You can have occasional feelings for men without that making you gay or even interested in pursuing those feelings. So, first of all, if you really are predominately attracted to women, I don't think your feelings mean what you are afraid they do. Of course, that said, you should try to deal with this huge fear you have of being gay. If you really do turn out to be more attracted to men, you would have a far better life if you could accept that rather than rejecting it and living a lie.

[nsxs2000]

In the late 1940's and early 1950's a sex researcher by the name of Dr. Alfred Kinsey and his colleagues published two books called Sexual Behavior in the Human Male and Sexual Behavior in the Human.

this is his scale. he said everyone moves on the scale, even perfectly straight men and women. you probably have normal teen changes in brain chemestry, and it should level out. if you are gay there is nothing you can do about it. just be honest and realize gay isn't that bad (btw, i am straight)

0- Exclusively heterosexual

1- Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual

2- Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual

3- Equally heterosexual and homosexual

4- Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual

5- Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual

6- Exclusively homosexual

[nsxs2000]

In the late 1940's and early 1950's a sex researcher by the name of Dr. Alfred Kinsey and his colleagues published two books called Sexual Behavior in the Human Male and Sexual Behavior in the Human

Keep in mind, however, that it is normal for a heterosexual person to have thoughts, dreams or even fantasies about members of the same sex as it is for homosexuals to have thoughts about heterosexuals.

this is the scale. everyone wanders a bit from day to day

0- Exclusively heterosexual

1- Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual

2- Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual

3- Equally heterosexual and homosexual

4- Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual

5- Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual

6- Exclusively homosexual