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Mental Health (Expert Forum)
PLEASE HELP, MY DAUGHTER IS ONLY 6.........
Answered by
Roger Gould, M.D. - Mental Health, Wellness
Questions posted in the Mental Health forum are being answered by Dr. Roger L. Gould, author of the Mastering Stress and Depression program and affiliated with the UCLA. Department of Psychiatry. Topics covered include anger, attention deficit disorder (ADD), bipolar disorder, dementia, electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), learning disabilities, memory, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), panic, personality disorders, phobias, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), schizophrenia, stress, transitions, and work problems.
PLEASE HELP, MY DAUGHTER IS ONLY 6.........
by HIZLOSS, Jun 11, 2002 12:00AM
A couple of years ago there were several tragedies in my immediate family. They were as follows:
1.- My husband whom is a family doctor had quit going to work,I later found out he was addicted to pain medications.
2.- My mother was dying of Lung cancer.
3.-And I was very ill with several illness and diseases myself (mother of 6 yr old daughter).
Within a 2 week time frame, my mother passed at the age of 54,(3) days later I had to send my husband to a 9 month detox center especially for doctors in Atlanta and My stress and coping level were non-existent.
Then one night suddenly out of the blue,my daughter whom at the time was only 4 years old, starting screaming in her sleep that someone was on-top of her,hurting her privates.
I tried waking her to tell her I was there and she was fine,but I still am not sure if I was successful at waking her,this screaming,kicking,yelling profanities,and me having to hold her went on for 14 grueling hours.
I then called my sister , a pediatric nurse that lived nearby to please come over,since it was 4:30 in the morning she knew it must be serious, when she arrived and saw what my daughter was doing and saying,she started crying,saying,"someone has hurt this baby,sexually". That was the beginning of my nightmare.
That same morning ,we took her to one of the best pediatric psychiatrists,after many tests,she said we needed to take her to the police and fill out reports,and have a rape-kit done on her,I was mortified. Since I never worked outside the home,the police immediately blamed my husband,who at this time was still in an Atlanta detox program.After several months of investigations,examinations,and state agencies disrupting our lives, we were exhonorated of all charges.
However since she had Physical findings of vaginal and anal tearing , a sure sign of abuse,we needed to find out who had committed this terrible act on our baby. That's when my husband had told me that, 6 months prior to my mom dying,when I myself had to go to the Mayo clinic about 1500 miles away for a month or so,due to heart and diabetic complications un-diagnosed in my hometown. While I was away my husband took our daughter to a friends house that had a at-home-daycare-facility,so that he could do his rounds at the hospital.After another couple months of investigations,the father and son at this household were found to be the only suspects,hence them having other reports of abuse from the same pair,however nothing was ever done to them. Anyway to get to my question,finally I know,My daughter has been in therapy,under-gone numerous medical tests and is subsequently on several medications for ,Post-traumatic stress syndrome,Bi-polar disorder,and depression, even though she seems better,she still has the following problems;severe insomnia,migraines,the inability to commprehend the word"no", and somedays cries,not wanting to school.Can u please give me some info on anything I can do ? I am desperate !!...thank you !
1.- My husband whom is a family doctor had quit going to work,I later found out he was addicted to pain medications.
2.- My mother was dying of Lung cancer.
3.-And I was very ill with several illness and diseases myself (mother of 6 yr old daughter).
Within a 2 week time frame, my mother passed at the age of 54,(3) days later I had to send my husband to a 9 month detox center especially for doctors in Atlanta and My stress and coping level were non-existent.
Then one night suddenly out of the blue,my daughter whom at the time was only 4 years old, starting screaming in her sleep that someone was on-top of her,hurting her privates.
I tried waking her to tell her I was there and she was fine,but I still am not sure if I was successful at waking her,this screaming,kicking,yelling profanities,and me having to hold her went on for 14 grueling hours.
I then called my sister , a pediatric nurse that lived nearby to please come over,since it was 4:30 in the morning she knew it must be serious, when she arrived and saw what my daughter was doing and saying,she started crying,saying,"someone has hurt this baby,sexually". That was the beginning of my nightmare.
That same morning ,we took her to one of the best pediatric psychiatrists,after many tests,she said we needed to take her to the police and fill out reports,and have a rape-kit done on her,I was mortified. Since I never worked outside the home,the police immediately blamed my husband,who at this time was still in an Atlanta detox program.After several months of investigations,examinations,and state agencies disrupting our lives, we were exhonorated of all charges.
However since she had Physical findings of vaginal and anal tearing , a sure sign of abuse,we needed to find out who had committed this terrible act on our baby. That's when my husband had told me that, 6 months prior to my mom dying,when I myself had to go to the Mayo clinic about 1500 miles away for a month or so,due to heart and diabetic complications un-diagnosed in my hometown. While I was away my husband took our daughter to a friends house that had a at-home-daycare-facility,so that he could do his rounds at the hospital.After another couple months of investigations,the father and son at this household were found to be the only suspects,hence them having other reports of abuse from the same pair,however nothing was ever done to them. Anyway to get to my question,finally I know,My daughter has been in therapy,under-gone numerous medical tests and is subsequently on several medications for ,Post-traumatic stress syndrome,Bi-polar disorder,and depression, even though she seems better,she still has the following problems;severe insomnia,migraines,the inability to commprehend the word"no", and somedays cries,not wanting to school.Can u please give me some info on anything I can do ? I am desperate !!...thank you !
Doctor's Answer
by Roger Gould, M.D., Jun 12, 2002 12:00AM
, Jun 12, 2002 12:00AM
You are a heroine to survive all of this and keep going. Your love and care for your daughter are the most imporant curative factors at your disposal. She has been violated and the reverberations of that, and all the other traumas, are still playing themselves out in her mind.
Providing a constant and safe home for her, and getting her father back, is part of the stability she needs.
The only other thing you can do is therapeutic play therapy by a skilled child psychiatrist or psychologist who has special expertise in these kind of issues. You are already going to one, and that may be sufficient. But if your child psychiatrist is mainly prescribing medications and managing the case, ask her for a referral to a therapist who knows how to use play therapy to bring out the fantasies and fears that your daughter can't express or work out for herself.
Providing a constant and safe home for her, and getting her father back, is part of the stability she needs.
The only other thing you can do is therapeutic play therapy by a skilled child psychiatrist or psychologist who has special expertise in these kind of issues. You are already going to one, and that may be sufficient. But if your child psychiatrist is mainly prescribing medications and managing the case, ask her for a referral to a therapist who knows how to use play therapy to bring out the fantasies and fears that your daughter can't express or work out for herself.
Member Comments (1)
by ecampbe3, Jun 30, 2002 12:00AM
Gosh, you have my sympathy. I hope you and your family (and your baby girl) are on the road to a good life. Best wishes hang in there. You sound like a great mom, wife, and daughter. Be a good friend to yourself, as well as you are as important as everyone else. Without you - where would your family be?
by ssri, Jul 09, 2002 12:00AM
FIRST OF ALL ID LIKE TO SAY IS THAT YOU DAUGHTER IS PROBALY SUFFERING FROM ADVERSE AFFECTS OF HER MEDICATION.ALL ANTIDEPRESSANTS WILL CAUSE MANIA IN UP TO 6% OF CHILDREN. YOU NEED TO INVESTIGATE ALL YOUR CHILDS MEDICATIONS.YOU SHOULD ALSO KNOW THAT THESE MEDS ARE NOT FDA APPROVED FOR THE USE IN CHILDREN.THEY ARE DANGEROUS AND THE DONT WORK.CHECK THE FOLLOWING WEBSITE WWW.DRUGAWARENESS.ORG AND WWW.BREGGIN.COM YOU SHOUD NEVER STOP TAKING THESE DRUGS COLD TURKEY THE AFFECTS IN MOST INDIVIDUALS IS SEVERE GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS
