What's wrong with me?

[tbor78]

Hi,I have chosen the topic as PTS, but not at all sure what is wrong with me, if there is anything at all.For the last week I've been seeing a Counsellor at the request of my Doctor.I would like your opinions/advice on this.There is some parts of my life that is controversial and I apologise for offending. I'm a 22 year old male living in the UK.In August last year, I met and became good friends with a girl called Vicky(15). We started off as friends, and after a couple of months of talking on the phone, and sharing things, we officially started going out. We fell in love and everything was great for us. The age difference did not matter to us, nor did it get any negative comments from her friends in school because they met me and said I was a really nice guy.As I was working a 5 out of 7 day shift rota it ment that I'd be working weekends sometimes, so out of my love for Vicky, I resigned my job and was out of work for a month before I found a Monday-friday job!This was great I thought. Vicky was happy although not entirely sure about giving up a job she knew I loved. Vicky didn't tell her parents however about us(her older sister knew but never met me), so we were constantly sneeking around behind their back and on some occasions Vicky would tell her parents she was sleeping over at a friends, but instead she'd be with me.Her friends would cover for her.I was sure that things would last and even had it in my mind that this was the girl I was gonna marry, and Vicky felt the same about me or so she claimed. For the next two months, my love grew for her and I couldn't bear being away from her. In November, I proposed to her and she accepted engagement, but it wasn't official.I bought her a diamond ring....kinda like a promise ring 2 get married.Anyway during january, things started breaking down between us. Vicky seemed to become confused about how she felt about me. She cried a lot and on one occasion she gave the ring back to me. Then a few days later said she loved me and wanted to be mine, so she took the ring back.A week later, she broke up with me saying she didn't love me anymore and that her school work was important.We stayed friends but things got worse.We argued a lot and she constantly seemed to be patronizing me. I even went up to see her without prior warning once and it ended up in a shouting match. She gave me lots of verbal abuse telling me to get lost and that she didn't love me, and I was there trying to find out why that was and that I wanted us to stay friends.For the next 2 months after that we only spoke over the internet(msn).Then I also found out that my best friend,Leon had been talking to her online as well.On 22 march, we agreed to all meet up and go cinema. Vicky would not see me unless we were in a group and she said she didn't wanna be alone with me in case I brought up the past. So I took leon down with me to see her and her 2 friends Ria and Roisin.Continued>>

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

I don't have the end of your narrative here...there is nothing beyond the word "continued" so don't know your question.  It sounds like a real love with a young girl who woke up during the midst of it and decided she was too young to be committed at the level that you, and your age, was ready for.



Unfortunately, that is not too uncommon...that age difference does make a difference eventually even if it doesn't in the beginning. Its a painful lesson to learn for you.



If you need some additional help, go to www.masteringstress.com.

[tbor78]

Cont>> Ria sat up front with me, and Vicky&roisin sat in back of my car. leon was in another car and had gone way ahead of me.I cannot remember much of what happened that day, but I turned a sharp bend and ended up hitting a house wall. My car was a write-off. I awoke to the smell of screaming and burning. I got out and called the ambulance,police and Leon to come back.I had not been drinking but it appears i had lost control of the car. Ria is the only one that remembers what happened that day as the rest of us had concussion.I cracked my head, got burnt on the face. Vicky got her 3 front teeth smashed in, gum damage and Roisin had a cracked skull for which she has a metal plate.We were taken to the hospital seperately.I blame myself a lot for the accident and think about it everyday.Things got worse after that.After the accident I tried contacting Vicky and she told her parents about us and now the police have been involved. I'm not allowed to have any contact with her and if I do, I will be arrested.I was told by the detective if the girls try to make contact with me to let them know. The same goes for Ria and Roisin, although I have had contact with Ria but only in email and this was down 2 her.It now turns out from talking 2 ria that, vicky only wanted to meet up because she wanted to meet Leon and get with him. For the last 2 weeks she has been sending him sexually provocative texts and emails. And he only told me this recently.He has done nothing to stop it and has hurt me a lot and now we are no longer friends. He seemed happy to text her back and made up lies about me, telling people I threated him with a knife.He's been conspiring with my ex to get me arrested as he sent an email to Ria stating "I want to get him arrested" Ria has stuck up for me and tells me that I'm better off with out him.I phoned the police and advised them of the sexual texts she was sending my friend and they then contacted Vicky's parents but Vicky denies it.I am hurt because I've been let down greatly by my former best friend Leon, hurt a lot by Vicky as she used me, manipulated me and broke my heart.I've got the police on my back. Ria says that Vicky is ready to take me court because she know's i'm already down and suffering. The girl that I loved was nothing more than a fake, created skillfully to manipulate and use me. Ria claims that Vicky is a manipulative person and that she doesn't at all see what she's done to me.I have lost a lot of friends due to Vicky and my life is no longer the same. I constantly find myself thinking about her (I do strangely still love her).I get strange attacks where I find myself, put my hands up over my head to defend myself from Vicky. I find her attacking my mind so I cower in the corner of my room.I have considered ending my life as I think its the best way to deal with it.I've also considered purposely going and seeing Vicky and getting myself arrested so that the truth will come out and that then she will have 2 face up to what she has done. Ria says that although she's Vicky's best friend she often wonders why that is and that if it did go to court regarding the under-age sex and on a harrassment charge, she would support me and stand up for me in defense.I have often been fasntasicing about killing vicky and then maybe my mental agony will be over.I did suffer from depression, suicidal thoughts when I was in school, but they went away and now they've come back again and are even worse.I am increasingly paranoid of people and have detached myself from the outside world a lot. I wish I died in that car crash and that was the first thing I told the paramedics.

[indyjo]

Love hurts, but we learn from the hurts in life. Try to make this a positive experience in your life. Learn to take things slowly. Learn that a 15 year old girl is too immature to be involved in an adult relationship. I have an idea that this all was very exciting for you (sneaking around) and that it is still very exciting (police involvement, and controversy), however, the excitement is a physiological response and isn't based on true emotions. You are so young. You already know that you are able to have girlfriends. You must then also know that there is someone out there just waiting to have a true relationship with you. Sometimes it helps to become involved in something outside ourselves, like work or sports or hobbies. If you truely are having thoughts of suicide, then you MUST go to a mental health facility and be treated. Depression is insidious and grows. Get help, and get your young self back together. It is not the end of the world, even thought it feels like it now.

[tbor78]

Thankyou. Those are wise words and i'll try to do that. I appreciate the advice.

[ErinF]

I just wanted to let you know that I relate to your feelings.  I had a similarly manipulative relationship end, although I don't have the legal involvement you do.  It does indeed hurt very badly to find out the person you loved is not what you think they are.  



It will get better.  Time does heal some wounds.

[Baadsie]

Unfortunately most Doctors don't treat food allergies or hypoglycemia. www.alternativementalhealth.com can be a life savers.

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Conquering Anxiety, Depression and Fatigue Without Drugs - the Role of Hypoglycemia

by Professor Joel H. Levitt

The Anxiety & Hypoglycemia Relief Institute

e-mail:***@****

voice-mail:212-479-7805

web-page: http://www.travelersonline.com/anxiety/



(For questions regarding anxiety & hypoglycemia and New York City

classes, contact Prof. Joel H. Levitt ***@****)



Stress is often blamed as the root cause for anxiety, depression and fatigue, but, although stress can make any problem worse, the source of such problems is often physical in nature. And hypoglycemia is one of the major physical causes.



This article covers the following:



What is Hypoglycemia? - the cause of hypoglycemia and its effects.



Typical Hypoglycemia Symptoms - the wide range of mental, emotional and physical symptoms.



Testing for Hypoglycemia - standard medical testing and why it is often unreliable.



The Solution to Hypoglycemia - a list of dietary and nutrient recommendations, with special notes and cautions.



Recommended Reading - books and other references that will give you a more complete understanding.



What is Hypoglycemia?



First of all, let's be clear on one major point - hypoglycemia is not a "disease" in that you either have it or don't, it is a condition, and, in most cases, it is fully reversible.



Some types of hypoglycemia are caused by a tumor or other physical damage to a gland. However, that is rare, and not the focus of this article. The more common type of hypoglycemia - called "functional," "reactive," or "fasting" - is your body's reaction to what you put in it.



Hypoglycemia is the body's inability to properly regulate blood sugar levels, causing the level of sugar in the blood to be too low or to fall too rapidly.



Blood sugar, in the form of glucose, is the basic fuel for all brain operation and physical activity, including muscular. If the available fuel is too inadequate, any marginal physical or mental system may start to shut down. In addition, the glandular imbalances that result, as the glands struggle to regulate the sugar level, cause their own symptoms - especially high adrenaline, which is usually perceived as anxiety or panic, but, in some cases, can lead to violence. (Am I saying this has something to do with domestic violence and street crime? YES! And there is expert congressional testimony to back this up.)



Here is a typical pattern:



1. You eat or drink excess sugar (the average American consumes well over 100 lbs/yr.).



2. The body releases insulin to put sugar into storage, but the insulin response is excessive (due to ADAPTATION and/or chromium deficiency).



3. About 2 hours later so much sugar has been put into storage that there is not enough left in the blood, and you get a low-blood-sugar emergency.



Symptoms such as weakness and mental fog begin.



4. The body responds to the emergency by dumping adrenaline into the system.



More symptoms follow from the high adrenaline, such as racing heart, anxiety, etc., etc., etc..



5. The roller coaster rises and falls in critical hormones, causing an unbalance in all the hormones and often resulting in ongoing symptoms.



Many Americans have hypoglycemia to a greater or less degree. The symptoms comprise a remarkably long list and range from mild discomfort to being completely incapacitated.





Typical Hypoglycemia Symptoms



Following is a list of symptoms I've drawn from multiple sources, plus my own observations. The list is long because symptoms result not only directly from low blood glucose but also from the glandular imbalances that result, especially high adrenaline. Only one or two symptoms may be present, but most often, you will find several.



Note that although I've listed mental and physical symptoms separately, they often overlap.



Mental Symptoms



Anxiety - ranging from constant worry to panic attacks.



Phobias - claustrophobia, agoraphobia, acrophobia, and so on. This is anxiety tied to a particular issue.



Nervousness



Restlessness



Irritability



Depression - especially with females



Violent outbursts - especially with males



Obsessive Compulsive Behavior



Forgetfulness - this may just be choline/inositol deficiency.



Inability to concentrate



Unsocial, Asocial, Anti-Social behavior



Crying spells



Nightmares & night terrors - terror can continue after you wake up. It is especially indicative of hypoglycemia if you wake in a cold sweat, if the terror continues, if there is pressure on the chest