Unsure of where to start

[241unknownuser]

I am 22 male.  When I was a freshman in high school I did marijuana about 6 times.  One night I thought it would be fun to test a bong I had made.  I experienced a really odd high.  It was a unreal feeling with periods of flashy vision, suppression of sound, extreme disconnection from reality. My voice sounded foreign and I was in an extreme panic.  I finally fell asleep after 4 hours of panicking and running in place.  The next day at school I felt fine to I mentioned to a friend what happened.  I then started to feel as if the same feelings were recurring.  Mostly the disconnection from reality, it feels like I’m hearing things from a distance. As if I’m there but not really there. I sought no help or mentioned it to anyone who could help me.  These feelings lasted for like 6 months.  About a year later I had little to no recurrence of the attacks.  When I turned 20 I tried marijuana again.  I did it about 3 separate times before I had another attack.  It was identical in feelings and naturally I panicked.  Again I felt fine for a few days and I the out of the blue re experienced the attacks. I decided I should seek medical attention.  I went to my family doctor and he thought I might have Posttraumatic stress.  He gave me paxil for about 2 months.  This time it last only 3 months and went away gradually.  I then turned 21 and engaged in drinking.  One day while sober I had another attack.  It hit me really hard.  I have yet to seek medical care for it.  I always feel like I’m not able to be myself, and unable to feel happy.  I frequently experience intense attacks.  When this happens I feel really helpless and want to go home where I feel safe.  I never like to go out anywhere cause being with people always seems to bring on bad episodes.  My work is suffering cause I can’t concentrate and I fear certain situations that I have experienced bad episodes.  I guess I would like to know what type of psychiatrist I should see.  Is this actually posttraumatic stress, is it more of a social or other anxiety disorder.  I need help as soon as possible cause life gets more challenging every day that I continue to experience these feelings.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

You should see a general psychiatrist who can also prescribe medications if necessary. This is beginning to sound like a panic attack.  You should make sure that your doctor does more than prescribe medications...you should have talk therapy simultaneously.

[3rdMajor]

Depersonalization is a disorder recognized in the Manual used to identify psychiatric disorders (DSM-IV), and its on line counterpart, the Merck manual.  Depersonalization (DP) is the feelings of unreality, while Derealisation (DR) is the perception that the external world is unreal. The disorder is linked to emotional trauma, and perhaps 20% of the cases can be attributed to recreational drug use.  Cannabis, Ecstacy, LSD, Mushrooms and Ketamine are common triggers. Alcohol can also trigger DP.

Cannabis use can also trigger underlying anxiety disorders such as panic syndrome.  People can experience chronic depersonalization/derealisation (24hrs a day, 7 days a week), or experience intense "attacks" of depersonalization in the form of panic syndrome. These "attacks" can come "out of the blue". (non-situational), which makes them especially hard to cope with.

Some people become agoraphobic as a result of this disorder. (cant leave the house). I have experienced many of your symptoms (disembodied voice, anxiety, intense depersonalization) as a direct result of marijuana use. ***@****

Here is an excerpt from the Merck manual, on depersonalization.

"Patients have a distorted perception of themselves, their bodies, and their lives, which makes them uncomfortable. A person may feel as if he is an automaton or is in a dream. Often the symptoms are transient and occur with anxiety, panic, or phobic symptoms. However, symptoms can be chronic and persist or recur for many years. Patients often have great difficulty describing their symptoms and may fear or believe the symptoms mean they are going crazy. The patient often feels unreal and may experience the world as unreal and dreamlike."



Their is a support community on line at dpselfhelp.com  Visit them, and ask for advice.  They will know what you are talking about.

Research on depersonalization and derealization is underway at Mt Sinai hospital in NYC, and Maudsley clinic in London.

There is no known treatment at this time.

It go into this depth, because it is not unlikely that you see a

psychiatrist who knows nothing about this disorder.  My psychiatrist laughs condescendingly, when I relate my symptoms to cannabis use.

Good luck to you,

cabgx5

[3rdMajor]

If it isnt obvious, you should also stop all use of recreational drugs, especially those mentioned above.

[Rahad Jackson]

Thank you 3rd major for that info, i'll check out that site. I have smoked weed since 8th grade (7 years ago), and at least once a day for the past few years. I only started feeling bad effects from it in the last 2 years or so. I have had what i think is GAD or PD for over 2 years now, but have just recently gone to see a doctor about it, he said it's GAD. Now i'm wondering if it's depersonalization instead. I asked him whether weed could affect this, which i know it can in some people, and he laughingly said no. He put me on zoloft, but i'm going to ask for a referral to a psychiatrist next time i see him.

For the first poster of this message, stop smoking pot and whatever else you might be doing. I fooled myself for too long believing it had nothing to do with my problem because it didn't occur everytime i smoked, don't make the same mistake. I know it can be a lot of fun for most people, but some of us just aren't meant for it i guess. Peace.

[jnglgurl]

I hear you on that comment that maybe it isn't okay for some people. I used to smoke weed even though I freaked out and felt paranoid every time I did. I even listened to everyone tell me that it was "natural" and that it happened to everyone ... and that I needed to keep smoking and eventually I would get used to it?? People still laugh at my reason for not smoking w/ them but I had the worst feeling one night and I will NEVER touch it again!! The thing is ... everyone's brain chemistry is different and everyone reacts to drugs and alchol different. I have found that through exercise and healthy living the "after effects" of multiple drug use and dependancy are not as bad. The cravings never go away, the anxiety never goes away, but you can make the bad times easier to get through if you allow your mind to do other things besides sit and think about "those voices your are hearing" or "the feeling like you are not of this earth" or whatever you personally go through.

The sad thing is that when we are young we never think about the future and when we are old. That "I am young...therefore...I will never suffer from drug and alchol abuse later in life and if I do I will deal with it then" attitude definately takes its toll really quickly!!