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Mental Health  (Expert Forum)
 | 
CONVERSATIONS GOING ON IN MY HEAD
Answered by
Roger Gould, M.D. - Mental Health, Wellness
Questions posted in the Mental Health forum are being answered by Dr. Roger L. Gould, author of the Mastering Stress and Depression program and affiliated with the UCLA. Department of Psychiatry. Topics covered include anger, attention deficit disorder (ADD), bipolar disorder, dementia, electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), learning disabilities, memory, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), panic, personality disorders, phobias, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), schizophrenia, stress, transitions, and work problems.

CONVERSATIONS GOING ON IN MY HEAD

by Kikisu, May 13, 2005 12:00AM
I am a 28 year old professional female and am suffering extreme anxiety from made-up conversations that I have with a person in my head.  Usually I have make-believe confrontational conversations in my head, that cause anxiety.  Although I realise it is a self-defeating behaviour, I can't stop it.



For example, if somebody has caused me stress or conflict, I "talk" to that person in my head, usually arguing with them.  This is causing me extreme stress, as I am losing my ability to control these conversations.  I can't concentrate on real-life conversations, as "something else" is going on in the back of my head.



What is the correct medical term for this condition, as I have read other people suffer from these "conversations" as well, however have not heard of the specific psychiatric diagnosis.



What can I do as it is getting all too much, especially at work as I can't concentrate on the job with all this going on inside.



Is there any behavioural treatment available without using medication?



I am currently taking 5mg Zyprexa to control my anxiety, without it I wouldn't be able to sleep.  Is there more effective medication to control these thoughts/symptoms, as they are not fully controlled with this current medication?



Thanks

by Roger Gould, M.D., May 13, 2005 12:00AM
What you have is usually called an obsession and what you are taking is a good medication for that, but there are other antidepressants like Zoloft and Paxil that also work well.  YOu should also be seeing a psychotherapist, preferably a psychiatrist, who can also try and monitor different medications as needed....
Member Comments (23)

by Kikisu, May 13, 2005 12:00AM
PS. I have tried anti-depressants and they don't have a good effect on me.

by k72, May 13, 2005 12:00AM
To: I hd faced the same problem
i haad also faced the same problem and now i am using "ES-PRAMCIT" 10mg one tablet daily.



another solution is that when some thing interupts you, you thought that which thing is more important for you, and i had to do more important thing first and later i will thing about this problem.



act on it and when you feel better tell me.

my id is

care4_all***@****

by Kikisu, May 14, 2005 12:00AM
How does the medication help in terms of these conversations in my head?  Does it still the mind somehow or is it up to personal choice, whether I will entertain this conversation in my head?



What can I directly expect with my thoughts as a result of taking meds?  Does the med make it EASIER to ignore the thoughts?  Because at the moment I find the conversations hard to ignore.  



Also I am suffering debilitating headaches and mood swings as a result of this problem, and have lost a lot of time off work due to stress.



Is there a cure????

by sdc1213, May 14, 2005 12:00AM
I have the same problem at times only when I'm very stressed about school or family matters. My conversations are from the "What if" thoughts. What if I say this, what if I say that, what would I do if this happens. I recommend trying relaxation techniques, it helps you sleep better and leaves you in a more calm not aggressive state of mind.



Good Luck,

Steve

by k72, May 15, 2005 12:00AM
To: be care full
Actually you had two problem

i) Conversation in mind

ii) headach in mind due to a lot of thinking



A conversation will always be going on, because you had someting in your mind which is unsolved, and till that you had not find a firm solution in your mind of that thing,a conversation will always be continued. you had to discus the reason instead of problem.

A solution is that when a conversation starts in your mind, just write down a heading on a paper

"PROBLE"

infront of this heading write a statement which you are going to discus, then write

"Importance and need"

in front of this heading write the importance of the problem,

then you will find that is it important to thing on this problem or not, if the importance is more than write another heading

"Alternative Solutions to problem"

now write down alternative solutions of the problem u r facing

select one of the alternative solutions write reason to select the alternative solution and work on it. then your conversation will be directional and to the point and extra thoughts will not irritate you.



ii) you had headach for that i had told u a medicine.

by lmroswell, May 16, 2005 12:00AM
Inner dialogue.  That's what I call it.  I think most people do it.  I have always accepted that it is normal and all people have inner dialogues with themselves.  At least I hope so.  But, anything can become obsessive and/or compulsive.  I think it is up to the person to decide what to think.  Change the thought.  Constructive thinking.  It might take a lot of self-discipline and maybe medication would help, but I would try changing your thoughts by choice first.  An analogy to this would be observing  a two year old, who is having a temper tantrum.  Great success in ending the tantrum is done by distracting  the child by getting him to think of something else.  Maybe the same theory could be applied here.  Just a thought, an inner thought...:)

by Kikisu, May 17, 2005 12:00AM
Thanks guys, your advice and techniques have really helped me.  For the first day in ages, my mind is still and I have more control of the dialogue going on in there.  This is step one in a long journey, but I'd like to thank you guys for your understanding and revelations.

by k72, May 17, 2005 12:00AM
To: Kikisu
Good to know that you had started improvement, but you should share it with us so that we may also get knowledge and others may also get help to get rid of it.

I want to write an essay on this problem with the name "Fantacy world"

would you like to share me in detail what was your condition before, how you were suffered of it and by using which thing make you to feel good among many which we had told you.



please mail me on my id

care4_all***@****

by Paule, May 17, 2005 12:00AM
To: Kikisu
In your self dialogue, are you losing the arguments? Otherwise, everyone has self talk that is usually controlled. Hearing "voices" is something else and your on the right med for that.  Zyprexa is not for anxiety as the doc stated

by Kikisu, May 18, 2005 12:00AM
No, I am not losing the arguments, but am creating them with people that I have been hurt by in the past, but these arguments consume me sometimes.  I don't hear voices at all, just a whole lot of thoughts going thru my head that I don't have the control over.  However, in the last few days, since I stumbled on this website was that I realised I am not the only person who does this.  Alot of the illness focusses on the fact that one thinks they may be going crazy b/c all this unwanted stuff is in their head.  Once you realise that others do this too and it can be controlled, you gain power of the dynamics that drive your mind throughout the moments in the day.



Boy do I feel good today, yesterday as well!  Most other days are anxiety filled and dark.  I feel really bright and my thoughts are not consuming me - ie. like the vicious cycle has been cut as is common with OCD.



To care4u, good idea for wanting to write an essay on this phenomenon.  I will write to you once I get an email account - which will be soon.



by k72, May 18, 2005 12:00AM
there are some persons who are too sensitive to ignore some thing unusual to them. For example if some body had said some thing bad for them, at the moment they don't had answer but later they remain thinking that what should i reply, what i have to say to this person. in their thought they again visualize a situation where other peoples are gathered and discusing the matter of quarell, the person is offending him self.

so this discussion in mind is to defend himself.

it is in result of inferiority complex. It may be that other person had forget about the quarrel but he remain induldged in his thoughts.

so one should divide the things into important and no important.

so he should no think on un important things.

by lmroswell, May 18, 2005 12:00AM
When I have been involved in a verbal confrontation with someone, and it is hostile, I usually go into shock and sometimes cannot verbalize the right words to say to this person.  Later, I  will re-play the scenario in my head, and then I can think of many responses to the confrontation.  If I were only a quicker thinker with words...I also think women, because we can sometimes over analyze things, are more prone to doing this.  But that is why we are superior...jk :)

by LvdByGod!, May 19, 2005 12:00AM
how about writting down these conversations and trying to gain some insight from them...if these are people who hurt you, you probably need to find a constructive way to share with them how they hurt you. have you considered that you may have a heavy burden on you to communicate to these people and share your feelings...if you can not do it in person how about a letter? once you share with them, you can work on forgiving them and moving on...then there will be no conversations left to think about. you will have already had them with the real live person and gained the peace of mind from sharing it and getting it off your mind.



remember you have no control over what thier response will be...it is not your responsibility to "make them apologize".  the most important thing is to let them know how you feel and then THEY will have the burdon on them to decide what to do from there...but it will no longer be in your hands (head) and you can relax...since you can not make someone say sorry at least you know you can let it go once you have shared your part...the rest is up to them...not you. it becomes thier problem to work out, not yours...this is freeing...but forgiveness is your part. remember you can forgive someone even if they are not sorry...for this you may need some professional help to guide you.



by Kikisu, May 19, 2005 12:00AM
Thanks guys once again for your advice and insights.  You have really helped me through this turbulent time.  



I would like to add - it is not just a problem with confrontation to others in my head, but a constant obsessive worry that I have in my mind.  If I'm not worrying about that - I will be worrying about this - and if it is not this, it is that.  



For one of the first times in my life, the circuit or cycle, has blown!  Wow!  This is due to the insights and understanding you have provided me.  And also, that I am not the "only one in the world" with this problem.



Thanks so much and yes, "loved by God", I also believe in Jesus, and He has helped me through the storms of life.  Some issues certainly did have to do with forgiveness, however I also could not turn the "worry tap" off, and now it seems as though it is turned down to low.



Thanks so much...



PS why were you guys on the website.  Will you be kind enough to share any of your problems?

by lmroswell, May 20, 2005 12:00AM
A couple years ago, I experienced a sudden onset of weird sensations in my left foot, which have since gone away.  But, I still don't feel 100%, have high heart rate, floaters in eyes, just minor wierd things.  I have always been interested in medicine, and was drawn to this website, when looking for answers.  I still float around and read the various forums.  I find them interesting and informative.  My husband also experienced an unusual heart rhythym, that I thought was a vagus nerve related problem.  Now, he has delayed gastric emptying, and hasn't felt 100% for a while.  This website provides invaluable assistance to so many.  I hope it never goes away.

by Imagined my ex-girlfriend became my cat, Jun 01, 2005 12:00AM
Think I'm going to make a dr's apptment.  I think something is still wrong with my mental health.



I find it extremely hard to leave the house, and I constantly look out the curtains to see if people are there.  I am scared of my elderly neighbors, yet they don't hurt me.  Though I feel better when I can leave the house, and I go to the Library to take Masters studies.  I'm not income working, but I am studying working, yet I feel overwhelmed, when I shouldn't.  



I, for some reason, imagined one day that an ex-girlfriend became my cat Shmi, due to similar personality traits, and that last night, when attempting to sleep