I really need some advice!!

[Daisy884]

So I broke up with my boyfriend six weeks ago from an on-and-off two year relationship.  The reason it was on-and-off is because he is a heroin addict. He had hurt me so many times in the past because he would leave me to go do drugs, and he would lie to me all the time.  But in December of 2006, he decided he wanted to get off drugs.  So we dated fully until July of 2007 when I started getting an uneasy feeling.  We broke up, and three days later he relapsed after seven months of being sober, he did heroin.  I was so upset at him because he had walked away from me so many times in the past to do these drugs.  I told him before we started dating in December that if he does drugs one more time, then I'm out for good.  So I have been gone six weeks now.  So now a couple days ago, he sent me an email.  I started missing him SO much and its taking EVERYTHING that I have to stay away from him!  I want to go back to him so bad, its like i'm ripping myself in two, because half of me wants to go back, but half of me wants to stay away.  I miss him so much!!!  I remember all the good times, and how he treated me good in the last seven months we were dating.  But I'm just not sure why I'm having these feelings?  Because its just lately, and I would think after the way he has treated me in the past, leaving me for drugs, and lying to me so much, I would never want to go back.  I don't want to be hurt by him ever again, its happened too much!  So I guess my question is, why am I all of a sudden having these strong feelings of going back to him?  My dad also has been having an affair, and my mom just decided yesterday that she is going to divorce him, I'm 22 but still live at home due to the fact that I'm a poor college student who can't afford to move out.  So could my parents divorce be the reason I want to go back to him?  Since he was my best friend?

[green eyed lady]

I can really relate to your situation because I'm going through the same thing except my BF is an alcoholic and he smokes crack (nice, huh!). I literally have tried everything in my power to help him because like your BF, he treats me great and he is THE man I want WHEN HE IS STRAIGHT.

One very important thing that I have learned is this...you can't save him. Even though he goes through periods of sobriety he still has a problem and the only one that can save him is himself.

I know how much you miss him and how hard it is not to see him especially when you remember the good times....but please understand something...you are young and you have a lifetime of possibilities awaiting you. People who are addicted to drugs statistically relapse many, many times before they finally become clean and there are some who will never achieve sobriety. Remember the hurt you've experienced because of his lies and deception and keep remembering that when you feel weak and want to contact him. This is what I do.

I am not really sure if your parents situation has any bearing on your situation with your BF, but I AM VERY SURE that you will get over this guy and find someone who doesn't come with so much baggage and problems and who will treat you with respect and dignity. You deserve nothing less. Good luck to you and stay strong...E

[Women Seeking Answers]

My brothers are both heroin addicts.  I learned that you cant help them until they are ready to help themselves!!  My one brother just got 4 years jail time and the other is finally (after 10 years) sober.  He still has slip ups but not with heroin.  We learned that every time he got out of jail he went right back to the same place he was hanging out before and went right back to the heroin!  Me & my husband (a police officer) decided to take him to my moms house witch is away from the city to stay. He has been there ever since.  He just got his license today!  He had to stop hanging out in the area he was, have positive people in his life, and most important get rid of the "friends" he had!  But he wanted to do this we didn't make him, he could have left at any time but he chose not to.  Hope this helps!

[sophisunnyb]

In short, after a while it gets easier and easier to deal with leaving and staying away. Do yourself a huge favor and forget about him, move if possible. I married a drug addict hoping he would change had a kid with him. It did not end up well, they always put drugs first because they "have" to have it to survive. I finally left him and it was hard but now after a few years I have met and married a wonderful person and I love him more than anything. There is a very small percentage of addicts who quit and never return to it. It would be a life long struggle for him and you. Usually addict start turning to worse behavior. My ex arm robbed a gas station recently. Can you imagine being apart of that? Your parents situation could be causing you to want to cling on to things that are familiar. Use your head not your heart it is smarter.