My 5 year old daughter won't eat anything but what I consider junk!

[Greg]

I'm a dad who's playing Mr.Mom for the time being. I've been doing  this for about 5 months. My wife and I have 4 children,
2 boys and 2 girls. I'm writing about Amanda who is our third child. Amanda won't eat any healthy foods all she wants is Peanutbutter & Jelly. She won't eat soups, cereals or vegtables.
This morning I made Cream of Wheat for all the kids and they loved it. Except Amanda, she sat there playing with it and when I forced her to eat it she started her normal " I'm gaging " routine. She does this with everything, in resturants, at her grandparents, where ever. So this morning I got angry and spanked her on her butt, then made her finish her cereal when we got back from dropping off her brother and sister at school. I love all my children, with all my heart and it hurts me to play the big bad dad. What do I do? Or should I just give in?
Please help if you can - Thanks Greg

[maggielou]

A related discussion, my 5 yr old will not eat at daycare was started.

[A3098]

A related discussion, Children who won't eat was started.

[Another thought]

Just wanted to put my two cents in.  I too have two boys and two girls.  I learned that rather than struggle verbally with the finickiness, it was better not to have those foods that I didn't approve of in the house.  If they're not there for the child to eat, then they don't have much choice, other than to choose from the foods you DO have in the house.  My youngest son loves potato chips and would make a meal out of them.  I stopped buying them routinely.  Now, whenever he wants something he can choose whatever we have in the house because I made up my mind to only buy thing things I would approve of.  Yes, I love chips and cookies and all the junk food too, but if we can't eat those sensibly, then we can't buy them.  Another trick I learned was how I used the cookie jar.  I always kept homemade cookies in there and naturally a hungry child will grab one in a heartbeat.  One day I got tired of seeing all the healthy food in the pantry getting stale, so I chose something a little healthier - a box of low-fat graham crackers and put those in the cookie jar.  Well, we have a clear jar and I keep it out accessible to everyone.  Something about the visual and accessibility enticed the whole family to polish off the jar in no time.  It's been my little secret to put the things in there I WANT them to eat.  Of course your daughter will throw a fit when she screams for something you no longer have in the house, but the point can't be argued because you can just tell her, "We ran out of (whatever).  You can choose something else."  That way she still retains a little control over what she eats, but yet she can only eat what you have bought of your choosing.  She will probably scream until she throws up and be hungry for a day, but she will be fine.  I know at mealtime when the veggies are served it can be a struggle, but another thing you might try is this.  Take corn for instance.  Ask her to be your big helper to make supper.  Tell her you know she's a good cook and you bet she can make the best tasting corn in the whole world.  Put the corn in a pot and help her to sprinkle the salt and pepper on and put a little margarine in it.  Let her stir this together.  You cook it and then announce to everyone that Amanda has made the best-tasting corn that anyone has ever eaten and you can't wait to be the first person to eat it.  Make sure the rest of the family puts some on their plate, but don't tell Amanda to at this point.  As each of you eat "her" corn you must comment on how good it is and how healthy you're going to be.  She may not try it the first time, but sooner or later I guarantee she will.  Try to get her to be your big helper at meal preparation - and not just her everytime.  She needs to see the other kids helping too - that mealtime is a good thing.  When I wanted my son to eat cheese I let him choose a cookie cutter and we cut the bread slice and cheese slice into that shape.  He eats many train cheese sandwiches.  We did the same thing with meat.  Take the lean sandwich meat (not bologna!) and use a cookie cutter.  Also, I made carrot sticks, carrot coins or bought the baby carrots.  My kids love to eat carrots with a dip.  I don't worry about the calories in the dip at all.  There's a world of things you can do with potatoes.  Let your imagination go wild when you let her help with meals.  Just remember the biggest rule - if you don't want her to eat junk food, don't buy it.  Hope this helps.

[Christine]

Well, I have two children and fortunately neither one of them has taken a hard stance on demanding one particular food all the time  (like PB&J); however, I have had my share of feeding difficulties with them not eating the nutritious foods I fix.  I fell into that trap of having them turn their noses up at the meal and refusing to eat it.  Out of guilt and worry, I would then fix them some mac & cheese, a bologna sandwich, or the faithful PB&J.  They then took that to mean that they NEVER had to eat what I cooked if it wasn't their absolute favorite.  All of a sudden I was being a short order cook and making everyone's favorite food at every meal.  Lucky for me, my desire to please my children is not as strong as my trait for laziness so I put my foot down and said that no extra food will be fixed.  If they do not like what I decide to fix for a meal, they will go hungry.  Now I can't say that this has been a perfect solution but it has certainly helped quite a bit.  And, I do compromise.  If I decide to make something really weird that I know they have tried and hated, I will relent and make them a sandwich, but the key is that it is not a habit.  As the doctor answered, your daughter will get hungry and Mother Nature will take over.  It's a matter of whether or not YOU can make it through that period.
Christine

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Greg,

I think you're making a mistake by struggling with your daughter about food. As a responsible parent, you do need to prepare food and present it to your daughter. To eat or not should be her decision.

Now, many children are finicky eaters and have only a few favorite foods. While it is sensible to present them with these some of the time, it's not necessary to defer 100%. Rather, try to introduce some new foods without PB&J as an alternative - Mother Nature will entice her to try some of the new food items.

But it usually only exacerbates the situation to coerce children to eat. By changing your behavior you are not 'giving in' - you are demonstrating some appropriate flexibility and demonstrating that you are a reasonable person/