should I have a tubaligation or my husband have a Vasectomy? please help

[katielynn]

I am 23 years old. I have two children one 4 and the other 2 I love them both alot but I don't want to have anymore and I am sick of being scared every other month about being pregnant and I dont do well with birth control. I don't know what will be better my husband haveing a vasectomy or me having a tubaligation. please help thanks katielynn

[AndiJ78]

My husband and I are currently pregnant with our third child, our oldest is 4, youngest will be two next month. We are both sure we are done after this one, but in light of some of the potential lasting effects of a tubal, he is opting to have a vasectomy.



Now, have you considered getting an IUD instead of jumping right into sterilization? No user error involved and depending on the kind, the effectiveness ranges from 5-10 years. There is a staticstically lower failure rate than either male or female sterilization and should circumstances change down the road, you haven't sacrificed your fertility.



Ultimately this really is a deeply personal decision. Some women have excellent results with a tubal, some women have less than desireable side effects, same with vasectomies. I encourage both you and your husband do a lot of research to find which option is best for you.



Good luck,

Andi

[PammySue]

Well, in my opinion, it's WAY easier for DH to get a vasectomy rather than you going thru a tubal.  My DH got one after our second and he was up and fishing the very next day.  I don't think that is true of women who have tubals.  It's less expensive, less invasive, and the sex afterwards is so much more rewarding without the worry.  If he will agree (because some men feel very threatened by this), I believe it would be much easier on you both.  Good luck and HTH.



Pam

[dwl28]

the vasectomy definitely. i had a tubal and you don't even want me to get into the problems i have had since then. i don't care what anyone says, before i had my tubes tied, i never had any of the problems i have now. it would be alot easier for him to do it it and alot better for you in the long run.

[maryheather]

Vasectomy all the way--

My theory is that I've been through way more having 2 kids...and I wasn't gonna be put through anything else.  It's his turn!!

[Speggsmommy]

It's also possible that at 23 your dr. may hesitate to do the tubal. I have heard of several people whose dr didn't want to do it at such a young age



I would check into the IUD - I used it after both of my kids.  I had my last one 5 1/2 yrs ago and would have sworn I was done - but things have changed and we want #3!

[katielynn]

thank you every one for your help now I have to talk my husband into it. I told him if he won't get it done no more sex he won't last a week I am sure. thank you all

[AndiJ78]

After hearing horror stories from the ladies at work, my dh volunteered for the big V. Initially we were both going to have the procedures done, but he didn't want to risk putting me through that. I have to admit, I will be getting an iUD placed simply for the "good" side effects. Silly I know, but well worth it!



Andi

[MerrynBlythe]

Hi...I remarried when I was 46 to a man 6 years younger than myself. The Story: Since the birth of my 2 kids when I was 18 and 20, I have never been able to stay on birth control pills (too many side effects even back then), I tried 3 IUD's (the 3rd resulted in a pregnancy because the IUD became embedded in my uterus and didn't do its job, so both had to be removed...not a pleasant experience) and after that I became agoraphobic with panic/anxiety attacks so going to a hospital was not an option anymore for me unless it was in a straight jacket. My first husband went for a vasectomy. That was 30 years ago. From the time I was 25 til I turned 44, I never had a normal period...sometimes I would go 3 and 4 months between periods and then flow for 2 weeks at a time; sometimes just a week...I just never knew. Then at the age of 44, my body decided to go through puberty again I guess and while I should be going through menopause, or at least thinking about it, I have been more regular now that I ever was! My second husband and I did NOT want any children and he knew of my agoraphobia and anxiety and I had some other health problems, so on his 40th birthday, he was scheduled for a vasectomy...what a lovely gift to me and for us. He missed just 2 days of work, the day of the surgery and the following day. Your husband would likely be told to ice the area 3 or 4 times a day for the first couple of days and not to lift anything heavy for a time. The small incision scar literally disappears in time and I can honestly say that our sex life is still as wonderful as it ever was, prob'ly better, because there is no worry of an impending pregnancy; yes, even at our ages where I still have periods at 52 and he's still as virile and sexy as he was before. Some men think they'll "lose" that after a vasectomy...being with 2 men who have had vasectomies, I can assure you that if that's the way you think, it may happen...but that won't be because of the vasectomy; it'll be because of some pre-conceived notion that you'll be less a man! You won't be...you'll become even more sexy to your wife and there are so few complications with a vasectomy in comparison to a tubaligation.



Merryn

[who_is_this]

Just so you hear the opposite side.



I had a tubal ligation years ago, and have had no problems at all.  Perhaps the first couple of periods were heavier, that's all.  



Definately more involved than a vasectomy but still done on an outpatient basis (I was in and home in 3 hours).  Took the next day off work, then back as usual.  



Consider carefully that either choice is considered permanent.  Reversal is not 100% sucessful, and is not covered by insurance.

[Sharlla]

DH had a V 7 months ago, it was really easy on him.  I didn't want to get a T because of all the health risks to me.  I'd say use backup for a good long time.  I thought after 6 months and getting a test result that says no sperm meant that it was safe to take out my IUD, now I think I'm PG.

[glad*2*chat]

I had a tubaligation about 5 mths ago. My pregnancy was delivered by C-section. Since i was already on the table and i knew I was having a C-section my husband & I decided to give it the okay that I do it. I had C-sections before and after the tubaligation I did not feel any abdominal pain other than the one that comes with the C-section.

[jmisty23]

my husband is 28 and i am 24. we have 2 kids 5 and 18 months.my husband wants me to get tied.i think i want another baby.am i being selfish?should i get tied and have regrets afterward?i'm not sure what to do...please help me.

[peekawho]

jmisty23
No one will perform any sort of permanent procedure on you like a tubal ligation unless you are sure you do not ever want any more children.  Look at some other method until you know for sure.

[Truthbtold]

[Truthbtold]

I guess I am the lucky guy as my wife never even suggested for me to get a vasectomy, She did the tubiligation immeditely following the birth of our last child while in the hospital which saved us on cost. She said I am already in the hospital and have all the meds. It took the doctors very little time to do the extra proceedure and my wife has had no side effects. My wife has told me many times that she believe women tend to exagerate the risk and minimise what a man goes through just to get the man to do it. Again I lucked out. I stayed a Man instead of becoming an IT. My wife is an awsome person and I am lucky to have her.

[davidglo]

I am 30 years old and I have three boys ages 6,9,10 in 2003 I had a miscarrige my husband
  does not want no more kids he pressed me in the tubal,That year I found out he had another child with some one eles,I was so angry with him I left him,now I want another baby and the price is 6,000.00 or more. Just make sure if you do it's what you really want.

[motherofthree1982]

My fiancee and father to my 3 children just went and got a V done on the 18th of April and is storing some for the future.  I was very upset bc he knew i wanted another one but he opened my eyes and made me relize with our youngest childs health problems it wouldnt be a good idea to have another one right now if not ever.  He doesnt want me to get tied just incase we decide in the future we want more we can just use the sperm he stored!!!!!!!

[addysmom]

I am very interested in your question.  I am also 23 and I have a 9 month old.  We are only planning on one more.  I would personally like 2 more...but DH only wants 1 more.  So...we have been talking ALOT about whether I will get my tubes tied, or he will get "the big v".  I think we have finally decided that he will get a vasectomy.  For several reasons.  One being that IF we decide to have another later on....its only $1000 to reverse the vasectomy, close to $6000 to reverse the tubal