Nipple sensitivity

[Chicagogrl]

I'm new here and hope this is a good place to get the opinions of other women or even men, if they can contribute. My nipples don't respond at all when I'm sexually excited. They never have. I am 53 and have never had any breast surgeries. I do have a childhood history of sexual abuse, but I have dealt with it in therapy. I have been in a loving relationship with my boyfriend for over 5 years now and feel very safe and comfortable with him. However he feels that most women's nipples are sensitive and it bothers him that mine aren't. He wonders if my nipples not being responsive could be the result of: 1)my need to control my body, 2) my abuse history, or 3)something else. I am able to have orgasms with him although there too he doesn't think I should need clitoral stimulation. I feel he is misinformed. Perhaps I'm the one that's misinformed or "not normal." Thanks for your help.

[AndiJ78]

What!?! I think the opposite is true, most women NEED clitoral stimulation and it is a rare breed who don't. As far as the nipple sensitivity, I don't know how to answer that. Before I had my boys, I was neither here nor there on that, but since having them and nursing, I would much rather not have them touched. They have lost any sexual function for me and to be honest are pretty sensitive so it is quite irritating for them to be messed with.



I am not sure what to tell you on the nipple thing, but on the clitoral stimulation thing, you are far from abnormal or a freak. You are just like the rest of us : )



Andi

[Chicagogrl]

Thanks Andi. I wish I knew about something about my nipples. I read that breast surgeries can change the sensitivity, but mine have never "worked." Even hearing from other women that they have the same experience would be reassuring, but so far all I've read is other women's nipples are overly sensitive.

[AndiJ78]

Like I mentioned, before nursing my boys, I was neither here nor there on it. I don't know that I would say they were numb, but not a source for stimulation. But after nursing, things changed.



Have you asked your GYN about it?



Andi

[giddychic]

Take it from someone who has had breast surgery and has made my nipples over "happy".  My nipples where not real "happy" before my surgery but now I have trouble wearing certain shirts because they will not stay down---I have even gone to the extent of band-aids on them----does not work-----but I still like to have stimulation reguardless of the perky things----as long as both of youa are sexually satisfied with each other it should not matter to him whether you breast are sensitve or not-----and I do not have orgasms without some sort of stimulation-----good luck

[AndiJ78]

Have you tired nursing pads to help with the "happy" nipples? They have some great ones that aren't obvious (some show lines and such)



Andi

[giddychic]

no but it is a very good suggestion----I am telling ya---my high beam headlights are on all the time-----and it is kind of embarrassing when some ask if I am cold and it is 99* outside---if you know what I mean------but I have tried the bras with some padding in them---but again since my breast reduction I received a "lift" and they pop right out of it!!!

[AndiJ78]

Hope it works, I am ultra self-conscious about mine as they seem to stay at attention while pg and nursing. In fact at my sons' party this past weekend, I had on a sports bra, camisole tank top with a shelf bra and a thicker shirt because it was so bad.  The things we women have to deal with!!



Andi

[giddychic]

I know what you mean----we women do it all seems like------but I guess that means we are tougher...LOL...... good luck to you too---keep me posted---ok????

[monkeyflower]

Wow, your bf is grossly misinformed on all counts; it sounds like he may be rather inexperienced. First of all, the clitoris, not the vagina, is the body part analogous to the penis in terms of stimulation and sensitivity (ask your bf if he can orgasm from just stroking his scrotum ;-)). I'm assuming your bf believes you should be orgasmic from intercourse alone... but the reality is that women who are, are definitely in the minority. About 70% of women need clitoral stimulation to come, which intercourse doesn't provide. So, if coming then is important to you, either of you can use your hands or a vibe on your clitoris.



Nipple sensitivity differs from women to women, too. Some women like nipple stimulation, some don't. Some have very sensitive nipples, some don't. Not enjoying nipple stimulation does NOT mean there's anything wrong with you.



Honestly, it doesn't matter in the slightest what other women like. Everyone's different. What matters is what YOU like. It sounds like you're orgasmic and are enjoying your sex life, and that's what counts. I would strongly encourage you and your bf to stop comparing you and sex in general to some mythical "should" and instead enjoy you and your sexuality however it is. :-)

[Chicagogrl]

Thanks everyone. He's really a great guy. When I told him I had posted on a women's health site and the general responses I had received, he apologized profusely. Thanks for helping me feel better about myself.

[ash00]

hello, my name is ashley and i am a 20 year old female who is having sensitivity in my nipples. I was on depo, and my last shot was in march. Now everyday my breasts are a little sore and my nipples are too. It is getting to the point where it is annoying. I also took a pregnancy test and it was negative, so what could this possibly be wrong????