Loss of a grand daughter from drug OD

[GrammiDot5]

I lost my 26 year old grand daughter ( my 1st grand child ) from a drug OD. She was 26 yrs old. She left behind  a 2 month baby boy Phoenix. No matter how much I try and resume a fairlly normal life, it does not happen. I am on Zoloft and have gained wt from eating at night. It has been 10 months and the sadness I feel is the same as the day she died.When I close my eyes my memory of her dead in the ER is as strong today as it was 10/29/06.
Will I ever learn to have a new life with out her? I know I need to accept that my life as of now will be a different life. How do I do this ? The sadness is constant and never ending.

[wickedwanderer]

I'm very sorry about your loss and the struggle to work through it.  It takes a long time to heal.  Don't think there's something wrong with you because you haven't completed the grieving process.  In my opinion, talking therapy could help you a lot.  I was totally against doing this, but I now look forward to my therapy sessions.  Also, maybe Zoloft isn't the right med for you.  Depending on who prescribed it for you, you may want to seek the help of a psychiatrist.  They will work until they find the right med(s) for you.  But first and foremost, I would strongly recommend therapy.

Do you spend time with the baby?  I would imagine that would be hard, but...I would spend as much time with her as I could.  It's a huge part of your granddaughter and I think it could be very healing.  

Take things in stride.  Grief is overwhelming.  Maybe you can try a bookstore or library for some books about grieving.  I've found that a lot of these books focus on the beginning stages of the grief process, but they can help explain why you feel the way you do.  Some talk about sudden deaths; which I would think is what happened to your granddaughter.  It must have been very unexpected...

Good luck...I hope some of these things can help you through the process.

[creston1966]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.  I don't have any magic words nor can any of us know what will fix the grief for you.   You are obviously a loving, caring person who has a great pain.  Please know there are others out here who hurt and understand a lot of the pains we all have.  I will think and pray for you.   Please know you are important....the most important you there is.    I would recommend seeking some help from clergy or a good therapist if you need to share and have someone care about you and give you a diff perspective.  It is quite normal to grief.   God bless you.