Member Comments are provided by individuals and reflect their personal opinions only. Under NO circumstances should you act on any advice or opinion posted in this forum. ALWAYS check with your personal physician before taking any action regarding your health! MedHelp International and our partners, sponsors and affiliates have no obligation to monitor any comments posted on this site, or the content and/or accuracy of such exchanges. MedHelp International does not endorse the views of any user.
Eating Disorders Community
Trying to be 'Perfect'
by whirly, Oct 08, 2007 11:37PM
I wonder how it is possible to be 'perfect'?
I have tried so many things in life to make me that better person - or at least to make me feel that way, but it does not last for long.
I look at myself in the mirror and dont like the body i see! If i start to see structure or bones then this makes me happier. I know i have a serious issue with food, but cannot find a way out.
I know i need help, but am to scared to get it - i dont know if i want it, as i just want to be thin. I even think that people look at me and see a big girl.
I am now 8 1/4 stone, 5ft 8ins and have lost quite alot of weight lately due to taqking cocaine to surpress my appetite (although am now having help with this from a drug team). i am also taking laxatives, water retention tablets, food suppliments/diet pills and other vitamins. When the feeling of a food craving hits me - i feel so guilty and occasionally give in - more guilt, more thoughts, more purging, more exersise!
How can my body be "perfect"? I only wish i knew? I don't want to be put through this every day of my life!
Is there a way out????????????
xx
I have tried so many things in life to make me that better person - or at least to make me feel that way, but it does not last for long.
I look at myself in the mirror and dont like the body i see! If i start to see structure or bones then this makes me happier. I know i have a serious issue with food, but cannot find a way out.
I know i need help, but am to scared to get it - i dont know if i want it, as i just want to be thin. I even think that people look at me and see a big girl.
I am now 8 1/4 stone, 5ft 8ins and have lost quite alot of weight lately due to taqking cocaine to surpress my appetite (although am now having help with this from a drug team). i am also taking laxatives, water retention tablets, food suppliments/diet pills and other vitamins. When the feeling of a food craving hits me - i feel so guilty and occasionally give in - more guilt, more thoughts, more purging, more exersise!
How can my body be "perfect"? I only wish i knew? I don't want to be put through this every day of my life!
Is there a way out????????????
xx
Post Comment
first thing you are going to have to come to terms with is there is no perfect as much weight as you are going to lose you will never be perfect .perfect will always be 5 pounds less then you are at any time . I have been in recovery for 6 years now ,by the time I was done I had to get all top teeth crowned (your body will start to take the calcium any where it can get it ) I have osteoporosis at 35 and I have cronic Epstein Barr ,so for as perfect as I was trying to get my outsides my insides were being destroyed. I never thought about it at the time .You can get better, baby steps. I will pm you today .
Avis
Thanks for your post. No i am 28yrs old and have a six year old son. This is how it has been since i was 9 years old.
I do know others who have found the key to the door that leads to a healthy life, i know my key is out there/ somewhere in my head needs to unlock this fear.
I just hope i find it soon, it's just so scary!
x