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Self-Improvement Coaching (Expert Forum)
Is marriage a prison
Answered by
DreamVolition, LLC
Redwood City - CA
This forum is for questions and support regarding tips and techniques to help people begin to take accountability and responsibility for their general well-being and move towards improvement in all areas of their life: work, home, and relationships. Professional coaching is about setting goals, creating results, communicating with those around you to create a healthy environment, and managing change.
DISCLAIMER STATEMENT:
The self-improvement coaching forum is an information service and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional advice or for the diagnosis or treatment of mental disorders. By participating in this coaching forum you are not entering into a doctor-patient or attorney-client relationship. You agree to seek independent professional guidance for legal, medical, financial, business, spiritual or other matters. You understand that all decisions in these areas are exclusively yours and you acknowledge that your decisions and actions regarding them are your sole responsibility.
Coaching is very different from therapy or counseling. It is a pro-active approach instead of a dependent reliance upon a counselor or therapist to unearth the hidden issues buried deep in a person’s past. Coaching deals with the "here-and-now" and acknowledges that each individual can take responsibility for their own life by having tools and resources that support them. Coaching focuses on wellness and expects the individual to be an active participant in his own well-being.
DISCLAIMER STATEMENT:
The self-improvement coaching forum is an information service and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional advice or for the diagnosis or treatment of mental disorders. By participating in this coaching forum you are not entering into a doctor-patient or attorney-client relationship. You agree to seek independent professional guidance for legal, medical, financial, business, spiritual or other matters. You understand that all decisions in these areas are exclusively yours and you acknowledge that your decisions and actions regarding them are your sole responsibility.
Coaching is very different from therapy or counseling. It is a pro-active approach instead of a dependent reliance upon a counselor or therapist to unearth the hidden issues buried deep in a person’s past. Coaching deals with the "here-and-now" and acknowledges that each individual can take responsibility for their own life by having tools and resources that support them. Coaching focuses on wellness and expects the individual to be an active participant in his own well-being.
Is marriage a prison
by novak, Oct 16, 2007 04:28PM
Is a woman narrow minded, selfish and wanting to be exclusive if she is unhappy that her partner enjoys chatting with women from around the world on the net as well as looking at adult sex sites. Does that imply she wants to control him? Is she making marriage a prison?
If this affects the relationship should he stop?
If this affects the relationship should he stop?
Doctor's Answer
by Wanda Ropa, MPEC, Oct 16, 2007 10:00PM
, Oct 16, 2007 10:00PM
To: novak
Whenever I work with clients on relationship coaching issues, I always tell them there are two sides to every story. So, the first thing to ask: is this a new behavior? Is this something that was triggered by other factors? Was he always this way, but now it is more pronounced? Being in a relationship is a collaborative effort and it does take work. It takes two to work on a relationship so it is successful.
So, the second thing to ask: are you enjoying being in the relationship? Or is something else not working as well, that maybe needs to be addressed? Is he enjoying being in the relationship? Or is something else not working as well?
The real question to this story is: why doesn’t it matter to him that you are affected adversely by his behavior? Is this symptomatic that he isn’t responsive to your needs? Does he know what your needs are? Do you know what would make you happy in the relationship? Do you know what would make him happy in the relationship?
If you want the relationship to work, I would recommend marriage counseling to help re-ignite the romance and passion that started the relationship.
Your Forum coach, Wanda
So, the second thing to ask: are you enjoying being in the relationship? Or is something else not working as well, that maybe needs to be addressed? Is he enjoying being in the relationship? Or is something else not working as well?
The real question to this story is: why doesn’t it matter to him that you are affected adversely by his behavior? Is this symptomatic that he isn’t responsive to your needs? Does he know what your needs are? Do you know what would make you happy in the relationship? Do you know what would make him happy in the relationship?
If you want the relationship to work, I would recommend marriage counseling to help re-ignite the romance and passion that started the relationship.
Your Forum coach, Wanda
Member Comments (2)
by star queen, Oct 19, 2007 06:20PM
To: novak
Porn and sex sites can be addicting and not always a healthy thing. Some men like to look at these sites for excitement after the sex life gets into a "rut" and they have need of a kickstart. This is okay if it is occassional and you are the one he turns to after becoming excited. If his behavior is one of habit and he is not turning to you,then you may want to question his behavior. Are these pictures of adults or young children? How often does he visit these sites? Would he give them up completely if it bothers you? If he doesn't want to give up watching then he may be addicted. Whatever his reasons, it if bothers you so much, he should do as you ask and stop visiting the sites. You are not being "controlling" or "narrow minded", and he should not be chatting with other women, especially if it is sex talk. You can see a counselor alone or with him for advice. One question you need to ask yourself: If he doesn't give it up, can you live with the behavior? Let your decision point you in the direction that is best for you.
