my nephew is 15 and still have accidents

[worriedTia]

My nephew is 15 years old and is still have trouble holding in his stool. I believe he started having this problem since he was around 10. My brother and sister-in-law are careless. I've tried to help by taking him to my family doctor.A while ago, I gave my sister-in-law a guaiac (as requested by the physician), so that we can get his stool checked and she never even tried to get samples. My mom and I are very frustrated because we want to help him but we don't know what to do. I've asked him questions on why he thinks this happens and all he does is ignore me. He has accidents on a daily basis. He smells aweful and he leaves the bathroom filthy. I have a feeling that his stool is really hard and it hurts him when trying to use the bathroom but he won't say a thing! I've read up on encopresis a bit, but I don't think this applies to my nephew because of his age. What can I do to help him?
Sincerly
The Worried Tia

[RockRose]

It sounds like it could be encopresis,  even though he is older.  The fix for that is so easy - fiber,  or metamucil or citrucel.  i think the reason he's ignoring you is maybe because he's embarrassed.  Maybe you could print out an article about encopresis and give it to his mom?  It's a surprise she isn't concerned about this - most parents would be pulling their hair out trying to help!

Bless you for trying.

[DustyL]

They sound like my brother and sister-in-law. It's a shame. Either way I would definitely try a laxative (caster oil works GREAT!).. Maybe when he's over your house give it a try and ask him if he feels better. Explain to him that it's not embarrassing and that you want to help him so he doesn't get embarrassed in school or at a friends house. He's old enough to understand as long as you don't make it some bad... My friend's daughter had encopresis and she mixed a teaspoon of caster oil with OJ (kills the bad taste) and had her 3-year-old drink it. She said she did this at least twice a day for a 3 weeks then once a day for 2 weeks. She needed to switch her diet to a non-constipating diet (taking out the constipating foods like milk, yogurt, cheese, cooked carrots, and bananas. Drinking too much milk will make him very constipated. (he may only be drinking 2-3 cups a day, but it may be too much for his system to handle).

IN PRIVATE I would definitely talk to his mother or provide her with the reading materials needed. Explain to her the kind of foods she should avoid giving him. Telling him too would be good. But put it in 15 year old terms (if you want the accidents to stop you need to drink less milk, don't eat yogurt or cheese or banana's.) if you make it sound like a "quiet" issue and not a BIG DEAL he might me more receptive. Instead of questioning him on why it happens provide him with a rhetorical solution. Don't expect his immediate response. Give him the information and Laxative and let him do it. If (WHEN) he has questions he will come to you. Provide him with the reading material needed to help him better understand what’s going on. He's 15 not 5... this is embarrassing to him and he knows it. But doesn't know what to do nor does he want to talk to anyone out of fear of being embarrassed. Good Luck!!!

[teko]

My heart goes out to this child.  What a shame.  He must feel so bad about himself.  how can a parent not want to help him.  Keep us posted on the outcome would you please?